


Sleepless in Sanditon

by Mermaid70 (Smiff)



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen
Genre: Childbirth, F/M, Love, Married Life, Married Sex, Pregnancy, Sex, Stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:35:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 50,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26836036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smiff/pseuds/Mermaid70
Summary: This is a sequel to Sea, Sex and Sanditon in which Sidney and Charlotte are secondary school teachers in England (you can probably read it without having read SSS, although there are a couple of references back to the original story). It starts just over three years since they first met and 18 months after their wedding. They’re living in a cottage in the Sussex countryside; Sidney’s working in Lewes and Charlotte is still at the school in Sanditon. The main themes of this story are married life and sex, pregnancy, childbirth and the early days of parenthood. As a heads-up, there is no pregnancy or birth related trauma; however, it's not all roses and they may have some difficulties adjusting to life as new parents, particularly when Sidney’s past comes back to haunt them… Other Sanditon characters make an appearance… There may be some angst and drama but ultimately there will be a happy outcome.I'm never quite sure about the rating - there are a few explicit scenes in this as some of the focus is on their changing sex life, so up to you if want to read those bits or not!
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker, Lord Babington/Esther Denham
Comments: 333
Kudos: 313





	1. Married Life

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Sea, Sex and Sanditon (a kitchen sink drama)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25307713) by [Mermaid70 (Smiff)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smiff/pseuds/Mermaid70). 



It was a cold, clear, January night. The squeal of Sidney’s bike brakes could be heard outside the window. Charlotte looked up expectantly. She never got tired of that noise; it meant that he was home. He burst through the door of the cottage, ducking his head, removing his bike helmet and running his hands through his hair. Charlotte smiled up at him from where she was standing at the kitchen sink. Three years on, she still found him just as gorgeous, even if the lines around his eyes were becoming more pronounced by the day.

Throwing down his bags, he came up behind her, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist and kissing her cheek. “Hello gorgeous, have a good day? Hmm, you smell nice.”

"Bloody hell, you're freezing!" exclaimed Charlotte, shivering at his touch.

"Yeah, it's chilly out there," he murmured, pressing his nose against her cheek, as he untucked her blouse, his ice-cold fingers lightly brushing against her skin.

“Hey, I’m trying to get this finished before I make dinner!”

“Oh that can wait, I’m not all that hungry…” Planting kisses down her neck in that failsafe way he knew she loved, his hands roved higher under her blouse. “I’ve been thinking about you all day, you know, shame there wasn’t enough time this morning…”

Charlotte turned to him and kissed his lips lovingly. “I’m still on my period you know.”

“So? When has that ever stopped us?” He gave her one of those knowing smiles and kissed her a little more forcefully, edging her back towards the sink.

She removed her Marigolds, laughing. “Don’t you remember what happened that time we did it up against the kitchen sink after the barbecue? First you practically pushed my arse into the washing up bowl, then I nearly slipped over and broke my back and we ended up on the kitchen floor covered in soap suds!”

“Yeah… it was worth it though, wasn’t it?” he grinned.

“Come on, let’s go upstairs,” she smiled.

He chased her up the stairs and into the bedroom, where they proceeded to peel off each others’ clothes and make love with an urgency and a passion more than equal to anything in their earliest days together. Afterwards, they lay in a breathless embrace as he withdrew, discreetly wiping them both off with the towel she had hastily tossed onto the bed.

“Oh god, more washing,” she laughed, noticing the sheets.

“Don’t worry, they’ll only get dirty again next time.” He held her close. “I love you, Mrs Parker. I can’t wait to get home to you every day.”

“Same here.” She kissed him tenderly.

"I'll make dinner if you like," he offered, "seeing as you're on your period. You have a rest."

"Sidney, don't be daft, I'm fine," she laughed. "Thanks though." She kissed him again.

“So how’s the new broom, Ms Heywood?”

“Oh you know, sweeping away…”

Although at home she was Mrs Parker, at school she was still Ms Heywood. She was still teaching at Sanditon Head and hadn’t wanted to draw undue attention to their marriage. They had been living in their small cottage, in a hamlet nestling under the brow of Firle Beacon, for two years and married for nearly 18 months. Mrs Denham had finally retired from Sanditon Head and a “new broom”, a young, dynamic, go-getting head, had been brought in to sort out some of the school’s problems. Although on the surface the school had been operating well, the finances were in a bit of a mess as Mrs Denham had been letting things slide for some years. Sidney had not even considered applying for the headship; he felt he had too much history with the school, not least the former schoolmates (and girlfriends) whose children were now pupils, and besides, he was happy at his new school, Firle High, where he had more than his fair share of responsibility. Charlotte was continuing to do well as an English teacher; Mrs Griffiths, her head of department, was much brighter and more on top of things these days, especially since she and Mr Hankins had moved in together. Esther and Brad were still happily together, although not yet married, and not long ago, Clara had introduced them to her new boyfriend, an intense-looking oboist called Piers with a thatch of curly dark hair.

Sidney and Charlotte’s wedding had been a joyful affair and, as Sidney had told her somewhat drunkenly towards the end of the evening, the happiest day of his life, a sentiment she most certainly shared. They had wanted a quiet wedding but, given the size of their extended families, especially Charlotte’s, this was simply not achievable. A myriad of Heywoods descended on Sussex from all parts of the country and beyond, along with a smattering of Parkers and several close friends, but Sidney and Charlotte did their best to keep costs to a minimum. It really could not have been more different from Sidney’s first wedding. Eliza’s parents were very well-off and had paid for the whole thing, ordering whatever Eliza asked them to. Eliza had morphed into a Bridezilla and Sidney had been swept up in an avalanche of bridesmaids, dress fittings, seating plans and video shoots, with very little say in the matter. Truth be told, he had hated it. This time, he was determined to take matters into his own hands, acutely aware that neither her family nor his had much spare cash to part with. Although they received small contributions from her parents and from Diana, they funded the majority of the wedding and the honeymoon themselves, and were still paying off some of it on credit cards even now. But it had been their wedding, planned together, a beautiful, simple, emotional, and truly memorable occasion, just as they’d hoped.

Since that day 18 months ago, life had been wonderful, despite their occasional money worries. The period leading up to the wedding had in fact been the more stressful time, coping with Sidney’s new job, looking for a home together, selling Sidney’s house, moving in, and then adjusting to living in each other’s pockets while simultaneously planning a wedding. At times Charlotte thought they had tried to do too much all at once, and occasionally woke up in the middle of the night wondering if she was too young for all this responsibility, and then she would look at the wonderful, beautiful man sleeping peacefully beside her (occasionally snoring) and all those stresses would melt away, and she would remember that they were simply two people in love, building a life together.

Later that evening, after dinner, Sidney and Charlotte climbed into bed, exhausted at the end of yet another stressful teaching day. Charlotte leaned over to take her pill from the bedside drawer and swallowed it with a glass of water as he watched her. She sank into his arms.

“Have you thought any more about that?” he asked softly.

“No, not really,” she replied. “I’m tired now. Can we talk about it tomorrow?”

“Sure.” They kissed tenderly and fell asleep.

This, perhaps, was the only small bone of contention between them. Sidney had just turned 39 and Charlotte would be 30 in a month’s time, and Sidney had never hidden his desire to have children with her. It was something she had agreed to before they got married, but as she got further into her teaching career, the idea of cosy motherhood began to seem less and less appealing. She was in her fourth year as an English teacher now and she wasn’t all that keen about disrupting her career for what would most likely be several years, assuming she had more than one child. Although teaching was a secure job, especially well suited to women who needed to manage career breaks, having a family always seemed to impact female teachers more than the men, who continued to rise up the stratosphere of the education ladder, much as Sidney had done, and would doubtless continue to do. Although Charlotte wasn’t especially ambitious, she loved her job and she had enough experience of children, from her own family and large handful of nieces and nephews, to know that the early years were bloody hard work. And yet, she wanted to have a family with Sidney and she knew that he would make a wonderful father. Over the Christmas holidays they had discussed the possibility of her coming off the pill and giving it a try, but so far she had not quite decided. She had a feeling that, at the rate they had sex these days - which although not quite as rampant as their early days was still several times a week and often multiple times at the weekend - she was likely to fall pregnant at the drop of a hat.

A few days later, Charlotte took a walk along Sanditon beach after school. She had passed her test a couple of summers ago and now drove into work every day, but missed her daily walks along the seafront, so fairly often, she would head off for some fresh air and exercise, sometimes dropping in at Esther’s for a natter and a cup of tea. It was a cold but bright January day and today she kept close to the shore, looking out at the sea and the horizon, towards France. Further down the beach she could see a family - mum, dad and two young children - chasing the waves and throwing stones into the sea.

She smiled, thinking back to that fateful Saturday morning that seemed so long ago now, when she had spotted Sidney playing with Henry, Alicia and Jenny on the shoreline in much the same way and he had invited her to join them. Once she had realised that they were his nieces and nephew, rather than his own children, she had relaxed. She often thought that Saturday morning was one of the loveliest times they’d spent together, sitting on the beach with their coffees, tentatively trying to find out more about each other without making it seem obvious how interested they were. They’d often reminisced about that day and she’d sometimes wished he’d just asked her out there and then, instead all of the rigmarole and drama they’d had to go through to get their happy ending.

As she strolled, Charlotte came to the realisation that she would just have to bite the bullet: come off the pill and make a baby, provided that they could, of course. It was a bit like throwing yourself into the ocean, she pondered, a bracing shock at first, and you never quite knew what was in the water, but once you were floating in the waves and your body was beginning to acclimatise, there was no better feeling in the world. You just had to take the plunge and trust that your body and the natural elements wouldn’t let you down.

She drove back home, smiling to herself, but decided not to say anything to Sidney about her decision just yet. She would stop taking the pill and see what happened, but she had no wish to enter that endless round of “trying” that some of her friends had subjected themselves to, measuring their temperature, calculating their ovulation times, scheduling in sex as if it was just another appointment in the diary. She laughed out loud, thinking that Sidney, most likely, would take the opportunity to insist they had sex as often as possible, at least twice a day if they could manage it. Best to let things go their natural course and tell him when the time was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to say early on that I know there are as many different experiences of having children as there are women. Everyone goes through it in their own way - some women get pregnant easily, others don't; some women sail through pregnancy, others have lots of problems - and the same applies to childbirth, post-partum, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, post-natal depression etc. etc. Everyone's experience is valid and no one's is any better or worse than anyone else's. If I've made any massive errors in terms of procedure or methods or current thinking on pregnancy and babies, I apologise. The story is really more about Sidney and Charlotte's relationship (in the modern era) and how it might evolve under the pressures of becoming new parents.


	2. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex and love and all that stuff...

The following Saturday morning, Charlotte was fast asleep in bed when she felt a light touch on her arm. She opened her eyes and smiled up at her handsome husband. "Morning," she yawned.

"It's ten o'clock Charlotte," he chuckled. "I've brought you a cup of tea. I'm off for a bike ride, okay?"

"What, in your pyjamas?" she laughed. He was wearing an all-black ensemble.

"No, I'm just about to get changed," he smiled, stripping off his T-shirt and stepping out of his shorts. Flinging the items casually onto the bed, he moved across the room towards the chest of drawers.

"Wait. Stay there," said Charlotte. "Turn round. That's it." She never tired of admiring his body. Although his abs weren't quite as firm as they had been, he kept himself very fit and there was hardly an ounce of fat on him. She particularly liked his strong, rugby player thighs and his pert bum. And his broad chest. And his hairy forearms. And his large feet. And, of course, her favourite part, which was where her gaze now rested.

Sidney laughed, hands on hips. "Had your fill? I'm getting cold here."

She held out her arms to him. "Don't go just yet. I'll warm you up."

Sidney smiled wryly; he didn't really need much persuasion. They had both had an exceptionally busy week with hardly any time for each other. Last night, they had shared a bottle of wine over dinner and then retired to the living room to finish it off in front of the TV, where Charlotte had dozed off on his shoulder. Gently, he had taken her upstairs and they had fallen into bed and gone straight to sleep.

Climbing under the covers, he edged his body on top of hers, kissing her forehead, her nose, and that little spot just at the side of her mouth that he so loved, as his large hands curved tightly around her arse.

"Sorry, I was a bit tired last night," she said. Ironically, since she had stopped taking the pill, their sex life seemed to have slowed down. But then it was January, the start of a new term, it was cold outside, it went dark at 4 o'clock and everyone had the post-holiday blues. Sidney had endless evening meetings and she had been busy too: she was teaching A-level now and the mock exams were coming up soon.

Sidney began to bite her neck, his mouth trailing down towards her breasts. Teasingly, he licked her nipple as she traced her fingers up and down his back. Charlotte, however, was in one of those moods where she wanted to reconnect with him instantly; his tongue in her mouth, his arms wrapped around her body and his cock deep inside her. She could feel him teasing, hard against her thigh. She couldn't wait. "Fuck me," she whispered in his ear. And so he did.

Afterwards, they lay in a loving embrace. Sidney kissed her softly. "Bit impatient this morning, Mrs Parker," he laughed.

"Well it's been a while," she teased. It suddenly occurred to her that she must be in the middle of her cycle. Surely you couldn't get pregnant the very first month, could you?

"I'll get going, shall I?" He sat up in bed. "You going swimming later?" That was their usual Saturday routine.

Charlotte reached up, tracing her fingers across his broad back. "Um... don't go just yet. I want to talk to you."

He swivelled round. "What's up?"

"Come here." He laid down again and she snuggled in close. "Sidney, I... I stopped taking the pill."

He pulled back, surprised. "You did? When?"

"Actually... about ten days ago..."

There was a pause. "Why didn't you say anything?"

She frowned. "I don't know really. I didn't want to make a big announcement. I just wanted to see what happened. You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not." He kissed her nose. "We discussed it, remember. But what made you change your mind?"

She reached up to stroke his hair. "I didn't really change my mind. I always wanted to, you know that. But I was walking along the beach the other day and I saw this family throwing stones. It made me think back to that day when I met you there with Tom's children. Do you remember?"

"How could I forget?" he laughed. "That's the day I fell in love with you."

She smiled. "Well, I remembered that time on the beach with the children and I thought, I want that, for us. So... let's go for it."

He laughed. "So you mean, just now, that could have been...?"

"I don't know, maybe." She shrugged.

"Hmm," he frowned. "Surely it should be more memorable than that. I mean, I’m not saying that wasn't memorable, but you know, a quick Saturday morning shag, that's not quite how I imagined it."

"Oh Sidney, don't be ridiculous," she laughed. "It doesn't work like that. To be honest... part of the reason I didn't tell you is because I didn't want to put any pressure on us, like turn sex into some sort of special occasion. We don't even know if it will work, do we? So let's just shag as normal and see what happens, okay?" she grinned cheekily.

Sidney leaned back against the pillows and looked outside at the grey January sky. The tree outside the window was covered in hoarfrost and the draughty windows of their old cottage were steamed up with condensation. "Not all that sure I fancy going for a bike ride, to be honest." He glanced across at her. "Do you really feel like going swimming? Bit cold today."

"Why? What exactly did you have in mind?" she smiled as she rolled over towards him.

"Well..." he said quietly, drawing his face close to hers, "We don't have to go out today, do we? How about we just stay here and have one of those days we haven't had for ages...?"

"Meaning?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Meaning... we stay in bed to keep warm, we have some food, we come back to bed, just to keep warm of course, doze a bit, have some more food, maybe a hot shower, then back to bed..."

Charlotte laughed, poking his chest. "I _knew_ you'd be like this."

"Like what?"

"Insisting we have sex as often as possible to boost our chances."

"It’s not a bad thing is it?" he grinned.

"It does sound tempting..." She drew a circle on his chest with her finger. "So where would you like to start?"

"Well, Mrs Parker, seeing as you were so eager for me to... _fuck_ you, and wouldn't let me do anything else, how about we go back to the foreplay?”

“Sounds good to me.”

Sidney bent his head and cupped his hands around what was quite possibly his favourite part of her body, or perhaps second favourite depending on his mood, gently flicking her nipple with his tongue then taking it fully in his mouth, while his hand travelled down between her thighs. After so many times together, he knew exactly which buttons to press, but then, she reflected, he had always known, he had only needed a little guidance. The feeling of her body shuddering under his touch and her wetness running down his arm always provoked an intense reaction in him and he began to move over her once more. “Wait,” she said seductively, and slid down under the sheets to take him in her mouth.

He sometimes said, in jest, that this was the reason he had married her, and she definitely loved to give as much as he loved to receive. However, conscious that every sperm was sacred, she reluctantly pulled away and lowered herself onto him, facing in the opposite direction, for once. The sight of her hair, her back and her arse thrusting down slowly onto his hips sent him over the edge and he cried out in joy as he erupted inside her. She leaned forward, dotting little kisses on his calves.

“Fuck,” was all he said.

Once they had got their breath back, she lay on his chest, curled up in his strong arms. “I love you Charlotte,” he said tenderly as he kissed her.

“I love you too. Wow," she laughed, "twice before breakfast."

"God yes," he said. "We need some food if we're to keep this up. Come on."

It was Sunday afternoon before Sidney and Charlotte emerged from the cottage to go for a walk on the Downs. It hadn't exactly been a sex marathon on the scale of her birthday weekend all those years ago, but it had been quite a weekend. In between the sex, they had spent a lot of time simply lying in bed together, talking, cuddling, making tentative plans for the future, even arguing about names, just the two of them, hidden away from the outside world and all its stresses and contradictions.

After their walk, they stopped at a pub for a drink. Sitting in the cosy corner by the log fire, he took off his beanie and raised his pint of beer to her. "Here's to the future, Mrs Parker."

Charlotte gulped. What had they embarked upon? She raised her glass of cider - thinking this probably should be her last one for a while - and smiled. "Cheers."


	3. New beginnings

Charlotte was packing up her books in the staffroom, anxious to begin the drive home as snow was beginning to fall outside. It had been forecast for a few days and the students were unreasonably excited about the prospect of a "snow day". There had not been one for a few years; the South coast of England did not generally get much snowfall, so when it happened, it was a memorable occasion. Schools would often close at the mere mention of a snowflake, or as soon as the ground became a little icy, citing health and safety concerns, and the parents and grandparents would grumble about how, back in their day, they had walked through six foot snowdrifts to get to school and how other countries just got on with it. The students didn't care as long as they got a day off and there was enough snow on the ground to go sledging.

Charlotte, however, did not relish the drive home through the country lanes. She had only been driving for a couple of years and had not really taken to it naturally. She was careful and competent but it wasn't something she particularly enjoyed, especially in bad weather and poor light. Sometimes she wondered if they had made the right decision moving out to a small village; it could feel a little isolated, especially in winter, and she missed the days when she could simply walk to work and not have to worry about the traffic. Sidney usually cycled into his school, but he still kept his own car and, really, having a second car was an extra expense they could do without. He of course joked that she should cycle to school as well, but there were several busy main roads into Sanditon and Charlotte wasn't keen to attempt the journey with bags of books, arriving at school sweaty and flustered. She sometimes missed being in the town and especially having Esther close by, although she visited her frequently. Esther spent most of her time at Brad's new house, but they had not yet officially moved in together. They had in fact made plans to marry the previous summer, but sadly, Brad's mum had died in the spring, so these plans had been put on hold for another year. Esther still stayed at her seafront flat some days of the week, as it was easier for work, and Charlotte loved to pop round there for a cup of tea and a chat, and occasionally she would stay the night if she had been out in Sanditon, as Esther no longer had a lodger.

Charlotte glanced at the illuminated date on the car dashboard. 8 February. She frowned in concentration. How many days had it been since her last period? That had finished in early January and she had stopped taking the pill almost straightaway. So the weekend when they'd stayed under the covers practically the whole time had been - what, three weeks ago? Surely not. It was too soon to tell. Or was it? Her heart began to pound faster. Perhaps she should stop at the chemist's and get a testing kit. No, not now, best to get home before the snow started falling harder; there were already gritters out on the roads.

As she drove, peering through the early evening gloom, the windscreen wipers sweeping away the large flakes that were beginning to come down thick and fast, she smiled, remembering how attentive Sidney had been the last few weeks. Attentive was one word for it, rampant might be another. She wasn't complaining; she had never had a better lover and the best thing about it was how uninhibited they could be with each other. She'd found out very early on in their relationship how eager and adventurous he was, and he didn't seem to be slowing down with age. Perhaps it was just as well to enjoy it now as much as they could; she knew from several of her friends that sex could become something of a rare commodity once the patter of tiny feet made an appearance.

She pulled up on the drive and got out of the car, her feet crunching on a thin layer of snow already settled on the ground. She opened the back door and he looked up from the kitchen counter, where he was busy chopping vegetables. His furrowed brow was replaced by a wide smile of relief.

"You're late, I was getting worried. I tried calling you," he said, coming towards her with open arms, holding her close and burying his face in her neck.

"I was driving," she laughed. "It was a bit scary though."

Sidney stood back and stroked her hair lovingly. "Next time you call me, okay, I'll come and pick you up."

"It's fine, don't worry." She laid her head against his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist and inhaling the scent of his white shirt. "I love you," she said.

He lifted her head to kiss her. It started as a slow, soft kiss, then deepened in intensity and longing. He pulled away, raising his hands in the air. "I've got onions and peppers all over my fingers. Perhaps we should eat first?"

"Okay," she laughed. "I'll go and get changed."

It was a bitterly cold night, the snow was coming down fast, and their cottage was rather draughty. After dinner, they climbed in a hot shower together, then made their way quickly to the bedroom where they dived under the covers and made love without speaking, looking into each other's eyes the whole time, lying side by side and moving slowly and intensely, savouring each moment. After a while, the teasing position got too much for Sidney, and he rolled over, pulling her legs right up onto his shoulders so that he could thrust as deep as possible. They both lost themselves in the moment as their bodies moved in harmony together, crying out in unison as they reached their climax.

She never forgot that they had done it like this the very first time they made love on her narrow bed at Esther's flat, when she had scrabbled in her flatmate’s drawers for condoms and then whispered dirty sweet-nothings in Sidney's ear and he had obliged by giving her exactly what she wanted. Now, they lay panting and laughing, cuddling and kissing, their easy familiarity giving way to easy conversation.

"Do you think there'll be a snow day tomorrow?" she asked.

"Hmm. Looks like it. Linda seemed pretty certain," he replied. Linda Fletcher was his headteacher at Firle High.

"Great," Charlotte grinned. "Day in bed."

"Not for me," he replied. "I'll have to go in and secure the site, sort some things out."

She groaned. "I have a ton of marking and prep to do , but I can always do that in bed. It's so bloody cold in this house." She shivered and he held her closer.

She hesitated. "Sidney..." she began.

"Hmmm?" he said, nuzzling her neck.

"Um... I think my period's late."

He immediately stopped nuzzling her and raised his head, his eyes wide. "Really?!"

"Yeah. But only about a week. Maybe it takes time to settle down after coming off the pill."

"Do you feel any different?" he asked. He was already smiling.

She shrugged. "I don't know really. I don't feel like I have PMS, if that's what you mean."

He laughed a tad sarcastically. "Well that's one benefit, I guess. So... are you going to take a test?"

"Maybe. I haven't got one though." She yawned. "Surely it's not possible, so soon...?"

"Well," he kissed her, "we have been shagging like rabbits."

"Yes, we have," she giggled and cuddling closer, they dropped off to sleep.

The next day, Sidney got up early to go into school. He was right; most of the schools in the area had proclaimed a snow day and Charlotte didn't have to go in. Bringing her a cup of coffee, he kissed her, saying, "Hopefully I'll be back by lunchtime. I'll stop off at the chemist's and get a test if you like."

"There's no hurry," she laughed, kissing him back. But she knew full well he would get one, and of course he did.

Charlotte sat on the bathroom floor, staring at the tiles, awaiting the moment of truth. She looked at her watch. A few minutes had already gone by. Shutting her eyes, she picked up the stick, then opened them again. There was a blue line. She stood up, but her legs had gone weak, so she rested against the doorframe for a minute before heading for the bedroom. Sidney was lying on the bed fully clothed, looking up at the ceiling. He sat up and turned towards her; she was mute and expressionless.

"Well? Aren't you going to tell me?" Then he noticed the confused expression on her face and assumed it was bad news. "Hey, don't worry, it's not a big deal."

"No," she laughed, still in shock. "Look." She held out the stick to him.

"What does it mean?"

"It's positive." She sank down on the bed. "Fuck."

"Positive? Really?! Wow." Concerned, he placed a hand on her shoulder. "You don't seem that happy."

She looked up at him, smiling, with tears in her eyes. "I don't know what to think. I'm a bit flabbergasted. Oh my god, Sidney!" Launching herself at him, she buried her face in his chest, overwhelmed.

After a few minutes, she lifted her head, simultaneously laughing and crying. "What have we done? It feels weird. Like I've got an alien inside me or something."

"It's not an alien you idiot, it's a baby." Lying down on the bed, they hugged each other happily.

“Not really a baby yet, just a tiny embryo, probably about this big,” she said, demonstrating with her fingers.

“Really? As tiny as that? Like a bean?”

"Probably not even as big as a bean. And then before we know it, it’ll be a big smelly teenager, hanging around the house all day, getting on our nerves," she laughed. "God, I just never thought it would happen so quickly, Sidney."

"Is it definitely positive?" he asked, still stunned.

"Yep. Those things are accurate. No need to go to the doctor yet though, leave it a few weeks I guess." She puffed out her cheeks. Sidney wrapped her tightly in his arms and kissed her lovingly.

"Right, well you and Bean put your feet up and I'll go and make you a cup of tea," he smiled.

"Sidney, don't be ridiculous." She rolled her eyes at him.

He cupped her face in his hands. "It’s so brilliant though, Charlotte. You're so clever."

"Hardly," she laughed. "The human race has been doing this for thousands of years, you know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well you guessed it - Sidney's enthusiasm and hard work paid off! (Oh and for someone who commented - yes, cyclists have more stamina. That's what I've heard anyway...)  
> Perhaps a few more months' "practice" would have been fun though...  
> Next chapter, we find out how Esther's getting on.


	4. Adjustments

Charlotte was glad of the snow days, which lasted the rest of the week. It gave her a bit of time and space to get her head round her new state of being. They stayed indoors and caught up on work, watched some films together, and even made love once she had persuaded Sidney that her body really was no different yet and it was perfectly fine to do so. Over the next few weeks, she could feel small changes taking place; a strange metallic taste in her mouth, a little nausea, and most noticeably, her breasts becoming bigger and more tender. Sidney, of course, was delighted by this. Fortunately, she was only sick a couple of times, but as the first trimester passed, the nausea got worse and worse and she began to feel increasingly tired. The days at school seemed interminably long; she would nibble on ginger biscuits and crackers in between lessons and would often find herself nearly nodding off over the steering wheel on the way home.

Sidney was solicitous and attentive, letting her rest and cooking for her most nights. Their sex life began to wane; not because she didn't feel like it, more because she was simply so tired all the time. At weekends Sidney would go for long bike rides and let her rest in bed. Charlotte was lucky though: she was young, she was healthy, and the pregnancy was pretty straightforward. All the tests were fine, and the scans confirmed she was carrying a single, apparently healthy baby who was growing normally. The only downside was that the pregnancy hormones affected her moods, and she would often start crying or snap at Sidney for no good reason, then apologise profusely later. He was patient, well, most of the time; he understood her body was undergoing a huge adjustment.

In the second trimester, which coincided with the spring, things began to change. The nausea faded, Charlotte’s appetite was rekindled and she found herself craving odd things, often at odd times of the day. Sidney would be sent out frequently to buy items such as pork pies, peaches, liquorice and even bags of ice cubes for her to suck on. Charlotte ate healthily and continued going swimming for as long as she could, enjoying the weightless feeling of being in the water. Her energy was definitely returning and so was her libido; in fact it more than returned, it doubled. She would often find herself feeling unexpectedly horny, and Sidney would return home from school to discover her lying in bed, relaxing, as she beckoned him towards her, a suggestive smile on her face. He thought she looked utterly beautiful. She was showing now, and her belly was beautifully rounded, her breasts more voluptuous than ever; the nipples larger, darker and more swollen. She liked to sit on top of him, rocking back and forth, and he would gaze up with total adoration at this gorgeous woman carrying his child.

******************

An exciting and much-anticipated event was planned for that summer: Esther and Bradley’s wedding. Sadly delayed by the death of Brad’s mum the previous year, they had decided to scale down their original plans and hold a simple registry office wedding, followed by a low key meal in the pub for their closest friends and a larger party in a hall in Brighton in the evening. Neither of them had much family; Esther was estranged from hers, and Bradley only had a sister and a couple of aunts. Sidney and Charlotte, naturally, were guests of honour: Sidney as best man and Charlotte as chief bridesmaid, or as Esther called it, best woman. As the wedding was due to take place in early August, two months before Charlotte’s due date, she was a little apprehensive about this responsibility.

One Saturday in June she called at Esther’s seafront flat to discuss plans and, most importantly, what to wear.

“Honestly, Esther,” complained Charlotte, laughing and rubbing her belly, “I’m bloody huge now, what on earth am I going to be like in August? I’ll have to get a super-stretchy dress.”

“As long as the colour matches mine, it really doesn’t matter,” smiled Esther, showing her a picture of her dress on the Internet. “This kind of green colour. I’m definitely not wearing white,” she laughed.

“I’m so sorry,” Charlotte yawned, sipping her cup of tea. “I know the wedding was planned for this summer, but I honestly didn’t expect to get pregnant so quickly. Sidney barely looked at me and I was up the duff. None of that faffing around with ovulation charts and temperatures and things.” She laughed light-heartedly, but then saw Esther’s countenance fall. Esther turned to her laptop, pretending to be busy looking at the arrangements.

“Esther. What is it? What did I say?” Charlotte placed her hand on her friend’s arm.

Esther turned to her and sighed. “Nothing darling. I’m very happy for you. It’s just that...” she looked away, her eyes moistening, “Bradley and I have been trying for nearly a year now and it’s just not happening. Not everyone finds it easy, that’s all.”

Charlotte put her hand over her mouth. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I had no idea... why didn’t you say?”

“Because... I guess I didn’t want to make a big deal of it... but then it becomes a big deal anyway and... oh god,” she put her head in her hands, “I’m older than you Charlotte, I’m nearly 35, and I really don’t want to go through all those procedures and things... I’ve promised Brad that I’ll go and see the doctor after the wedding.”

“Shit, I’m so sorry Esther,” said Charlotte quietly. “Me and my big mouth, I can be so insensitive sometimes.”

“No, stop it,” Esther gave her a hug. “I’m really pleased for you both. You sure you’re ready to have a child though? You’re a bit scatty you know,” she teased.

Charlotte stuck her tongue out. “Thanks. I seem to have got worse lately; must be the hormones. I got halfway to school the other day and realised I’d left all my books at home so I had to turn around and go back. Then I got stuck in traffic and I was late, so I ran to the classroom and turned up all hot and sweaty. Nightmare day.”

“At least you only have a few weeks left, then you’ll be off on maternity leave... for how long do you think?”

“Well, I could take a whole year off,” mused Charlotte . “It’s not all on full pay, but I think we can afford it.”

“And will you go back part-time?”

“Haven’t really decided.” Charlotte’s brow furrowed. “I’m worried I’ll miss working, you know. I mean, I really want to be a mum, I’m as excited as anything, but sometimes I wonder how I’ll adjust. It’s so easy for the men, their lives don’t really change that much, do they? It’s not like Sidney would ever have to consider working part-time, not that it would work with his job anyway. Oh listen to me, I’m being all ungrateful again.”

“No, it’s alright Charlotte, I understand.” Esther patted her arm. “It’s the way of the world, unfortunately. Parenthood is all about juggling, and it’s still mainly the woman’s job to pick up all the pieces. Anyway, back to the wedding... there’s something else I wanted to tell you. But first let me get you another cup of tea.”

When she returned, Esther looked rather nervous.

“What is it, Esther?” asked Charlotte, biting into a biscuit.

Esther twisted her hands in her lap. “I err... I had a letter from my father the other day. Quite out of the blue.”

“Bloody hell.” Esther’s father had disowned her many years ago, after she accused her stepbrother of sexually assaulting her as a teenager, and they had not spoken for years, although he still deposited a small annuity in her bank account on a regular basis.

Esther looked down at the coffee table, drawing a circle on the wood with her finger. “He err... wrote to say that he and his wife have separated, quite acrimoniously I think. He said that he wanted to make amends and he mentioned that um... George, my stepbrother, has gone from bad to worse, drinking and gambling and so on. He seemed to be intimating that he had judged me too harshly. Oh,” she sighed, “I don’t know Charlotte, he’s getting old, he’s in his seventies, he’s the only family I’ve got, do you think I should give him a chance? Offer the olive branch so to speak?”

Charlotte paused for thought. “Maybe. Why not? People make mistakes. Forgiveness can be hard, but... sometimes it’s what we have to do.”

Esther smiled, wiping away a tear. “Bradley thinks I should invite him to the wedding.”

“Perhaps. Although I think you should meet him first.”

“Yes of course. It would be so wonderful to put all that behind me, once and for all.”

“Yes, it would.” The two friends embraced.

****************************

Charlotte was more than relieved when the summer term finally came to an end, as were the students. She had never understood why schools in England stayed open so long, nearly to the end of July, everyone dragging themselves into school when the weather was at its hottest and driest, the students inattentive, unable to concentrate, fidgeting and dying to get out of the classroom and go home. This year, Charlotte understood their feelings more than ever. By July she was six months pregnant and getting bigger by the day, so the heat made the extra weight hard to cope with. She would frequently complain of looking and feeling as big as a whale, but in truth she had not put on many extra pounds. Sidney would say that from behind she hardly even looked pregnant and, to be fair, this was the view he most often got these days, in bed at least.

For her it was the most comfortable position and for him, he loved having full access to the front of her growing body, caressing her beautifully ripe breasts, stroking the taut skin on her stomach and rubbing her until he brought her to a paroxysm of pleasure. He would follow this up with long, slow, deep thrusts that had her squirming all over again. He enjoyed the sensation of going slower, savouring the erotic feeling of her hot body beneath his hands and her warm juiciness that fit snug around him.

For some months now, she had felt a quickening inside her as the baby squirmed, kicked and hiccupped, and now Sidney could easily feel it too. They would lie in bed naked, his head on her stomach, and if they were very quiet he could almost hear the baby’s heartbeat, or so he said. Mostly at Charlotte’s insistence, they had chosen not to find out the baby’s sex; she was curiously superstitious about the whole process, sometimes saying she didn’t think she would really believe they’d made a baby until it was right there in her arms. Although Sidney was aware this was a commonplace natural process, he was still utterly amazed that they had created a living human being, nestling inside her, taking all its sustenance from what she ate and drank. He felt as if he was falling in love with her more and more with every passing day, and frequently told her so. Charlotte only hoped this peaceful, loving bond between them would continue to be strengthened once two became three.


	5. The wedding

Naturally, as soon as the schools broke up for the summer, the weather changed, becoming quite autumnal for a week or so, with strong wind and rains. However, by the time of Brad and Esther’s wedding in August, it was dry again, but also unbearably hot and muggy. This humidity lasted almost a week, a storm always threatening to break but never quite arriving. When the happy day finally dawned, Charlotte woke up, caked in sweat, and craned her neck to look at the alarm clock. She groaned. Only 5am. She turned towards her husband, who was sleeping peacefully, and smiled. Beautiful man. Hauling herself out of bed, she relieved the - now almost constant - pressure on her bladder and looked out at the dry, brown grass surrounding the cottage. Slipping back in bed beside Sidney, he almost unconsciously wrapped his arms around her belly, making a strange muttering sound as he did so, but without waking. Charlotte closed her eyes and attempted to doze off.

A couple of hours later, the sun was shining brightly as Sidney and Charlotte ate breakfast in the garden together. It was a morning ceremony so they needed to get ready early. In the bedroom, Charlotte struggled into the light green wraparound dress she had chosen to match Esther’s bridal gown a couple of months previously. It was stretchy but it hugged all her curves, although she wasn’t too sure she appreciated the effect. Nor was she sure that green was really her colour. Never mind. This day wasn’t about her. As long as she stood happily by Esther’s side and didn’t make a mess of the Shakespeare sonnet she had chosen to read, no one would be looking at her. She slipped on her matching low-heeled sandals, adjusted her hair in the mirror, touched up her lipstick and walked slowly down the stairs.

Sidney was waiting for her at the bottom, a soft, admiring smile on his face. Halfway down, Charlotte stopped and gasped. He looked simply... wonderful. In his sharply cut suit, edgy tie, his hair neat and trimmed and only a faint hint of stubble, he was the epitome of the sexy, sophisticated older man. His gorgeous smile and deep brown, flashing eyes only made the effect more appealing. Charlotte felt something melt deep inside her; she wanted him right now.

“What’s up, Charlotte?” he laughed, oblivious of the effect he was having on her raging hormones.

She smiled, blushing. “You look like a movie star. Honestly, Sidney, you look so delicious I could eat you,” she laughed. “I only hope Brad looks half as good.”

He came halfway up the stairs to meet her, placing his hands on her shoulders. Leaning his forehead against hers, his hands travelled down her dress, gently brushing the tops of her breasts with his thumbs.

In a soft voice, he murmured, “You look pretty damn sexy yourself, Mrs Parker. I’d kiss you but I don’t want to smudge your lipstick.” He grinned, sliding his hand teasingly under her dress. “Mmm. Bare legs I see. But I’m afraid we need to get to this wedding. It’ll have to wait till later. You and your hormones.” He winked, taking her by the hand, leading her down the stairs and into the car.

“Sidney,” she laughed, putting on her seatbelt, which barely fit around her burgeoning belly, “I’m well aware that I actually look like a hot, sweaty mess. You don’t have to butter me up, you know.”

He shook his head, tutting, as he reversed out of the space. “You never listen to me, do you Charlotte? Don’t you remember the first time I ever kissed you? In the car, after that football match at school? You were a hot, sweaty and particularly muddy mess that day as I remember and... oh my god, those shorts… I’m only glad you couldn’t see the size of my erection.” They both laughed.

Rolling down the car window, Charlotte fanned herself with her hands. “Sidney, could you please stop talking about erections, otherwise I’ll have to make you stop the car somewhere, and if we’re late for the wedding, they’ll never forgive us.”

The beautifully simple ceremony in Brighton registry office was attended by a small gathering of friends and family. Esther’s father, Charles de Burgh, was present. Esther had met him several weeks previously in one of London’s finer restaurants and, over a bottle of claret or two, they had thrashed out the misunderstandings and hurt of the last fifteen years. By the end of the afternoon, Esther did not feel entirely ready to forgive him, but she realised he was doing his best to make amends. He was now an old, somewhat lonely man, and after all, he was all she had. In some ways he was very similar to her - forthright, direct, uncompromising - perhaps that was why they had always clashed. They met again a couple of weeks later, and this time she mentioned her forthcoming nuptials and invited him to attend, although not in any formal capacity. Charles was so taken aback, he almost cried. But not quite. Upper class Englishmen did not tend to cry.

During the ceremony, Charlotte gave a reading of Shakespeare’s sonnet No. 116:

_“Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments._

_Love is not love when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove._

_Oh no! It is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken._

_It is the star to every wandring bark, whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken._

_Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks within his bending sickle’s compass come;_

_Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom._

_If this be error and upon me prov’d, I never writ nor no man ever lov’d.”_

By the time she had finished, several tears were silently falling onto her cheeks. She looked up and, through the mist, saw Sidney, standing next to his friend, regarding her with love and admiration. “Beautiful,” he mouthed.

A few moments passed as they gazed at each other. “Sidney, the rings!” Esther hissed. Sidney came back to the present and passed the rings to the celebrant. Esther and Bradley recited their – very modern – vows, exchanged rings and gave each other a long, loving kiss. Charlotte was in floods of tears again and Sidney too was choked with emotion. His oldest friend was marrying the love of his life, and none of it would have happened if Charlotte Heywood, the love of his own life, had not come to Sanditon that fateful September four years ago.

As they left the wedding room, Sidney placed a protective arm around his wife.

“Your reading was so beautiful, darling. I don’t usually understand a word of Shakespeare, but I understood that.” She laughed as he kissed the side of her head. “Did you read that to me at our wedding?”

Charlotte rolled her eyes at him. “You don’t even remember? Honestly! No, I read a poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, _How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..._ ’’

“Oh right. I’m sorry,” Sidney replied. “Clearly I was too busy admiring your beauty. Uh-oh, look who’s here...”

A tall, wiry man with dark, curly, somewhat unruly hair and a face that was definitely beginning to look weathered, came striding towards them. “Sid!” he yelled, adjusting his crooked tie. “Bloody hell, I only just made it. Honestly, who gets married at 11 in the morning?”

“Frank,” laughed Sidney, as they patted each other on the back. “Well at least you’re here.”

“Jesus,” said Frank, “both of you hitched now. What is the world coming to? Oh hi, Charlotte, you’re looking... oh my god Charlotte, what’s happened to you?” he winked, in mock horror. “Been eating too many pies?”

“Piss off Frank,” said Charlotte, with a grin on her face. She had met Frank Crowe several times over the last few years; he could be a pain in the arse, especially when inebriated, and he always had a different woman on his arm, invariably younger than him and invariably without much conversation, but he was a good laugh and she knew he had been a good friend to Sidney over the years. She only hoped he would not get too drunk today, or at least not try to drink Sidney under the table, not before the wedding speech anyway.

“I’m sorry my darling,” he said charmingly, kissing her on the cheek. “You look absolutely blossoming... blooming... burgeoning... and... well, big. How are you and when is the happy event?”

“I’m very well thanks, and the baby is due in early October. Not long to go. And as for getting hitched, Frank, you’re all turning 40 next year, no one could ever accuse you lot of settling down too soon.”

“Not brought a companion today then?” enquired Sidney, raising an eyebrow.

“Err... no...” replied Frank, somewhat shiftily. “Last one didn’t end too well. Anyway Sid, where’s the pub?”

The small band of friends and family retired to a local pub for a buffet meal, washed down with plenty of wine and champagne. Esther looked glorious in her svelte green dress and Bradley scrubbed up well too. Charlotte hadn’t wanted to deliver a long speech; she simply stood up and thanked everyone for coming and told the assembled guests how perfectly suited Esther and Brad were and how very lucky they were to have each other. She mentioned how precious Esther was to her and what a good friend she had always been. In her mind she was thinking back to those early days in Sanditon when she and Sidney had gone through so much difficulty and drama, and how supportive Esther had been at the time. Both Esther and Bradley delivered short speeches, but both quickly became choked up, Esther when she singled out her father in the crowd, and Bradley when he spoke of his late mother. Then it was Sidney’s turn. After recounting several amusing anecdotes from school involving the Three Musketeers, Sidney spoke with humour and emotion about how Bradley and Esther had first got together, around the same time that he had met his own wife. How he and Charlotte had dithered and hesitated for many months, unlike Brad and Esther who had got straight to the point – in more ways than one – and never looked back. There were many guffaws, especially from Crowe, when he recounted the details of their first date: a run on the seafront, as running was not usually a pastime one associated with Bradley. The rest of the meal was a relaxed affair, with people mingling as they wished. At the end of the afternoon, Charles de Burgh embraced his daughter heartily and then headed back to his lonely London townhouse, promising to return to Sussex soon.

The evening celebration was being held in a different venue across town, and was mostly for work colleagues and other friends who could not be accommodated earlier. Charlotte was driving now as Sidney had been at the wine, although only a few glasses so far. Even Crowe had been relatively restrained. She squeezed in behind the wheel.

“Bloody hell,” she laughed, easing the seat backwards, “I can only just about fit in here. I won’t be able to drive at all soon.”

“You okay? You sure?” He stroked her hair.

“Yeah fine,” she smiled, her hand on the gearstick. He placed his hand on hers to stop her.

“Um... Charlotte... I just wanted to mention... Brad invited some old friends from school along tonight. People I haven’t seen in years, in fact. Just um... wanted to warn you.”

Charlotte turned her head to glance at him. “You mean old girlfriends, right?”

“Well, yeah, possibly.” He squirmed in his seat a little uncomfortably. “One of them actually ended up married to an old friend of ours. Don’t think he’d have invited her otherwise. But obviously, this was like years and years ago.”

“Okay,” replied Charlotte. “No big deal.” She put the car in gear and they drove off.


	6. The reception

Charlotte’s head was spinning. The hall was not that large and it was packed with people dancing, drinking, talking and laughing loudly. The music was pounding out an incessant beat and the lights felt a little too bright. She sat down gratefully on a chair; her feet were aching, in fact her whole body was aching. Sidney had introduced her to some people earlier, but she couldn’t remember their names; it had been rather difficult to talk with all the noise. Then she had spotted Clara with her boyfriend Piers. Clara had rushed over to talk to her and delivered the exciting news that she and Piers were also going to be married next summer. He had asked her only a couple of weeks before. Charlotte was delighted; Piers was a lovely man, if rather earnest and serious, and he clearly cared for Clara. She was so glad that Clara had finally moved away from the pain and trauma of her past into a loving relationship.

She swallowed as she realised that at Clara’s wedding, next summer, she would – touch wood – be the mother of a nearly one year old child. How strange to think of her and Sidney at a wedding, juggling a baby between them, taking him or her outside if he or she started to cry. Charlotte tried not to think too much about what the baby might look like, but in her mind’s eye she could picture a boy, somehow. Sidney disagreed, he thought it would be a girl, most likely twice as demanding as Charlotte.

All her friends were settling down now, it seemed, with one exception. Georgie was still in Toronto and her career had rocketed sky-high - she was now a top Sales Manager at Harper Collins - but sadly she and Otis had not lasted. They had gone to Canada with good intentions, planning to marry at some point, but after six months or so, had come to the mutual conclusion that ultimately, they were not really suited. They had parted on good terms, however, and Otis had returned to London to do his thing, taking the expensive engagement ring back to the shop. Georgie had since dated several men – and women in fact – but remained single and very much focused on her job. She loved living in such a cosmopolitan melting pot of a city, where the weather was boiling hot in summer - and freezing cold in winter - but at least it wasn’t as damp and draughty as England: as she frequently told Charlotte, Canadians had proper heating and proper air conditioning. Charlotte had visited her, alone, the previous summer, spending ten days in the city and visiting sights such as the Niagara Falls, and had had a fantastic time with her old friend. But Georgie had no plans to come back to England for the foreseeable future.

Musing on these memories, Charlotte glanced across the hall. Esther and Brad were dancing happily with each other. Sidney was standing over at the bar with Crowe, talking to some other people she didn’t recognise. Without really meaning to, she caught his eye. He beckoned her over, but she shook her head. His attention soon returned to something his friend was saying. Charlotte sighed. That awful pressure on her bladder again; wearily, she hauled herself up and made her way to the Ladies.

She breathed a sigh of relief as she plonked herself down on the toilet seat. This was only going to get worse, she knew, along with the indigestion and the inability to sleep. Her elder sister, Elinor, was a midwife and phoned Charlotte weekly to keep track of her symptoms and give her tips, informing her cheerily that she was having a textbook pregnancy and had absolutely nothing to worry about. Elinor was very much pro-natural birth and had tried to persuade her younger sister to have a home birth, but Charlotte did not feel entirely confident. She did, however, take a lot of Elinor’s advice when it came to diet and avoided scans unless absolutely necessary. Elinor had already given her copious tips on breastfeeding, but Charlotte hadn’t really taken it all in.

As Charlotte sat on the seat, she heard the door of the Ladies opening noisily and heels clicking on the laminate floor. The door of the cubicle next to her banged shut and a woman let out a loud sigh of relief as she sat down and began to pee.

“Good party, isn’t it, Jo?” She sounded a little drunk.

“Yeah,” replied the other woman, who sounded as if she was standing at the sink.

“Bloody hell, who’d have thought it, eh, little Bradley Babington, getting married? And to such a stunner! Posh bird too.”

“Yeah, she seems lovely. Beautiful hair.”

The first woman flushed the chain and exited the cubicle. Charlotte had finished but stayed where she was. She could hear the sound of taps running.

“Oh but fuck me, Jo. Did you see him?”

“Who?”

“Who? Who do you think? Sidney fucking Parker! Jeez, I haven’t seen him in like, ten years. My god, he’s like George fucking Clooney or something.”

Charlotte nearly snorted with laughter. She gingerly lowered the toilet seat and sat back on it, fully clothed. She wasn’t going to miss this.

“Yep, I have to say he looks pretty good. Keeps himself fit, clearly.”

“You’re telling me! Christ, most of them are all beer guts and receding hairlines these days. But him! I mean, you would, wouldn’t you?”

“Would what?”

“What do you think? That smile still makes my heart miss a beat, I swear. Christ, I would. I mean he was pretty good when he was 17, but I bet he’s learned a thing or two since then.”

“Ha! Well, you’d know, wouldn’t you? Unfortunately he was immune to my charms. Probably something to do with the spectacles and teeth braces I had at the time.” Both women cackled with laughter.

“While I had the dubious distinction of being the only girl in the sixth form that he went out with for longer than a month. Seriously though, I would, wouldn’t you? When I compare him to Martin...”

“Err... well no, actually. Firstly I’m married – as are you – and secondly I don’t think he’d be the slightest bit interested. You did see his wife, I presume?”

Charlotte, locked in the cubicle, shut her eyes and sucked in her breath.

“Yeah, I saw her. Young, of course. Pretty little thing, well as pretty as you can be when you’re that pregnant. Looks better than I ever did when I was carrying mine, I’ll give her that.” She sighed.

“Let’s just hope he doesn’t get bored of her, like he did with his last wife...what was her name, Lisa?” The two women now appeared to be leaving the toilets, their voices fading away. “I heard he was shagging all over town...”

Charlotte’s eyes pricked with tears, even though she knew it was ridiculous. She waited a moment before coming out of the cubicle and washing her hands, attempting to repair her make-up in the mirror. Taking a deep breath, she rejoined the party. Sidney was nowhere to be seen. She looked longingly at the glasses of wine on the long trestle table. Surely one wouldn’t hurt? She’d hardly touched a drop the whole pregnancy and she bloody needed one now. Discreetly siphoning off a glass of white wine, she sat down in a nearby chair and sipped it quietly. Everyone else seemed to be on the dance floor.

Suddenly, Sidney appeared before her.

“Hey, I was wondering where you’d got to.” He looked concerned. “Charlotte, is that wine? You know you’re not supposed to...”

“Oh for God’s sake,” she replied, a little more irritably than she’d meant to, “it’s just one drink. It’s a bloody wedding.”

“But you’re driving.”

Charlotte slammed down the glass. “Okay. Sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” But she couldn’t look at him. George fucking Clooney indeed.

Sidney crouched down so he was at her level. “What’s up with you?” Softly, he stroked her hair.

She turned to look at him, tears in her eyes. “Nothing. I’m just tired. And huge. And hot.”

“You are certainly very hot,” he attempted with a smile, but she didn’t respond. “Dance with me?”

She looked him in the eye. “Why would you want to dance with me? Look at me, I can barely move. There are plenty of other women out there you could dance with.” She waved her hand impatiently at the dance floor.

Sidney regarded her tenderly. “But I don’t want to dance with them.” His deep brown eyes focused on hers. “I want to dance with my wife. Because I love her. Come on.”

He stood up, holding out his hand. Unable to speak, she joined him on the dance floor. He tried twirling her around, but it was too much for her, so he simply wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

“We're not really dancing,” she laughed.

“Who cares?”

She noticed his eyes were rather glazed. “Are you pissed?”

“Only a little. Even Crowe’s keeping a lid on it. Look, he’s chatting up someone from school. That’s not going to end well.” Sidney laughed. “Hey, where did you get to?”

“Oh, I just went to the loo.” She frowned.

“You were a long time. Something upset you? You look like you’ve been crying.”

Charlotte sighed, closing her eyes. “I’m just being stupid. There were these women in the toilets. I heard them talking. About you.”

“Oh?”

“They knew you from school I guess.” She giggled. “One of them compared you to George Clooney.”

He laughed. “Am I supposed to be flattered? Isn’t he older than me?”

“Yes, but... Well, I think one of them had known you um... rather well at school. She couldn’t stop going on about you.”

“In front of you?” He was astounded.

“No, I was hiding in the cubicle.” She looked down.

“Oh Charlotte.” He lifted up her chin. “Don’t pay any attention to what some drunk woman says in the toilets at a wedding. Did you catch their names?”

“One was called Jo.”

He rolled his eyes. “I guess the other one was Helen then. She was always a bit of a bitch, to be honest. She’s the one that’s married to Martin. Poor Martin is all I can say.” He grimaced.

“But you slept with her?” She couldn’t help herself.

“Christ, Charlotte, that was over 20 years ago.” He was getting a little irritated now. Removing his hand from her waist, he ran his fingers round the back of his collar.

“Sorry.” She looked down again. “I know I over react. It’s just they were talking about me too, and they compared me to Eliza, and said you would get bored of me like you did with her...”

He stopped, grabbing her shoulders. “Yes, but you and I know the truth, don’t we?”

“Which is?” She looked up at him questioningly.

He stroked her face, smiling. “That I’m married to the right woman this time, and I love her very much.”

She smiled back. “Okay. Sorry. Blame the hormones.”

Sidney bent down and, oblivious of all the other dancers around them, kissed her lovingly. His chaste kiss soon turned into something longer, and stronger, as he entwined his arms around her, his hands stroking her back and trailing down to her bum. “I love you Charlotte,” he whispered in her ear. “Are you tired? How about we go home? Esther and Brad are heading off soon.”

“Okay,” she whispered back. “We'll just wait for them to go, yeah?”

“Yeah.” He kissed her again, his tongue searching inside her mouth, as she bit his bottom lip, her hands clasped around his head, her fingers knotted in his hair.

Jo and Helen were watching them from the sidelines.

Jo laughed. “You haven’t got a cat’s chance in hell, I’m afraid Helen. Sidney Parker is clearly madly in love with his wife.”

“Yep, I guess you’re right,” said Helen, hiccupping a little. “Ah well, back to Martin then.” She glanced forlornly at her pot-bellied, balding husband a few feet away, pint in hand, laughing with Bradley and slapping him on the back. “Looks like Sidney didn’t turn out so badly after all.”

“Nope. Looks pretty good to me.”

Twenty minutes later, Sidney and Charlotte were back in the car, having said their goodbyes to everyone, including Frank, who was deep in conversation with a woman named Clarissa, someone Sidney didn’t remember all that well if he was honest, a tall, elegant divorcee, apparently working as a political researcher at the Houses of Parliament these days. It made a change to see Crowe with someone his own age. Interesting.

They drew up at the cottage and climbed out of the car. It was a hot, sultry night.

“Damn,” sighed Charlotte. “Need the loo again.”

When she emerged from the bathroom, Sidney was lying on the bed, still in shirt and trousers, hands behind his head.

“I just googled George Clooney,” he said, laughing. “He’s 59! I wouldn’t take that as a compliment. I hardly have any grey hairs, do I?”

“Yeah but he doesn’t look 59. I mean, you would, wouldn’t you?” Charlotte giggled, climbing onto the bed.

“Pardon? Would what?”

“Well, I would.” Lifting up her dress a little, Charlotte straddled Sidney’s chest and attempted to lean over him. “Luckily for me, I can.”

Sidney yawned. “I really don’t know what you’re going on about.”

“You tired?” She tilted her head to one side.

He smiled, reaching up towards her. There were poppers on the side of her dress, holding the wraparound together. He swiftly unpopped them, peeling back the layers to reveal her breasts, bursting out of her bra, and her beautiful rounded belly. “Not that tired.”

Charlotte let the dress fall back off her shoulders and slide down to her thighs. Looking him directly in the eye, she undid her bra and slowly and seductively pulled down the straps. Sidney whistled softly. “Come here, my gorgeous wife.” She leaned forward to kiss him but her belly was something of an obstacle, so Sidney sat up to meet her, running his hands all over her back, her shoulders and her breasts. Soon, his shirt was undone and his trousers unbuckled.

“Charlotte, sit on me, please,” he begged. He would have dearly loved to take over on top, but he knew it wasn’t comfortable for her anymore.

She lowered herself on him slowly. Just as she did so, she felt a stirring inside her. “Oh!” she cried out. “It’s kicking me.”

“Shall we stop?” He looked concerned.

“No, it’s okay. I can’t stop.” And she really couldn’t. But she kept it slow and gentle, rocking back and forth, feeling every hard inch of him with every soft, wet inch of herself, until he was crying out and groaning in ecstasy and she, too, was riding the waves of her own pleasure.

Afterwards, they lay side by side as he kissed her tenderly. “I love you so much Charlotte. Don’t ever forget that. _Love is not love when it alteration finds_...”

“Well done, Mr Parker,” she laughed, impressed. “Not bad for a Maths teacher.”


	7. The new term

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I guess sex in pregnancy is like anything - some people like it, others don't. Apparently it's fine right up to the due date as long as you have no problems with your pregnancy and both partners are happy about it. After the birth is a different matter... :)

The night of the wedding, after making love, the baby squirmed and kicked and Charlotte found it hard to fall asleep, not least because Sidney, tanked up after a day of steady drinking, was snoring away merrily next to her. She began to worry if it was the sex that had made the baby restless, even though everything she had read had been quite clear that having sex was not dangerous in a healthy pregnancy. She had eaten quite a lot at the wedding, plus that half glass of wine, and now her stomach was making strange noises too. She ended up falling asleep half sitting up in bed, pillows stacked behind her, in an effort to calm her indigestion. When she awoke early next morning, Sidney was sitting on the bed, smiling at her.

“Why on earth are you sleeping like that? You were snoring like anything!”

“Humph,” she said somewhat irritably, having only slept a few hours, “You were snoring too. The baby was kicking, I had indigestion and it took me ages to get to sleep.”

“Oh well, I guess it’s something we’ll have to get used to, lack of sleep,” he grinned.

“What do you mean, ‘we’?” replied Charlotte. “I’ll be the one waking up in the night.

“I’ll be there too,” he reassured her. “You’re not doing this all on your own. What’s up with you? You seem a bit irritable.”

“Sorry, I didn’t sleep well.” She told him about the baby kicking so much after they had made love and how she had worried half the night about it. “But don’t worry, it’s supposed to be fine,” she smiled, “no reason to deprive ourselves.”

Over the next few weeks, however, Charlotte’s body underwent many more changes and she became increasingly uncomfortable, especially at night time. Tentatively, they tried sex once or twice, but Sidney could sense that Charlotte was a little tense, so he decided not to initiate it and leave it up to her to take the lead. In turn, Charlotte wondered why he wasn’t desiring her any more and felt slightly rejected, although really she needed any spare energy for all the chores they had to do around the home and the preparations for the baby’s imminent arrival.

A few weeks after the wedding, the new school term began. Sidney left for work early one bright September morning, and Charlotte, for the first time ever, was left at home on her own while everyone else was out at work. It all felt very alien to her, but in fact she enjoyed the day, sitting in the garden reading and drinking coffee, watching the last of the swallows and swifts depart for warmer climes.

Sidney was almost glad to be back at work. Apart from a short trip to Dorset, they hadn’t been away at all over the summer, and in between Charlotte’s midwife sister and his own sister Diana, a gynaecologist at Brighton hospital, he was beginning to get a little bored of the endless talk about birthing and breastfeeding. He’d been to a few antenatal classes with Charlotte, but had struggled to retain the barrage of information directed at them.

Sidney parked his bike outside the school and made his way to his office. There was a pile of paperwork on his desk; he’d been busy in the house the last week or so, and had decided to leave the never-ending school admin until he was back in the office. Today was a teacher training day and the students weren’t back at school until tomorrow. A short while later, he made his way to the staffroom, which was gradually filling up with teachers. He was pouring himself a coffee and looking for milk in the fridge, when he overheard a conversation in the staffroom behind him.

“So you’re a Science teacher are you?”

“Yes, that’s right. Biology.”

“You from this area?”

“Well kind of. I’ve lived in Sussex before but I’ve been in London the last few years.”

Sidney’s blood turned to ice. He knew that voice. His mug of coffee slipped in his hands and tumbled against the sink, spilling all over the drainer. He quickly cleared it up, his hands trembling. Slowly, he turned his head. Two female teachers were chatting in a corner of the staffroom. One had been at the school for some time. The other was a tall, thin woman with straight black hair tied back in a ponytail. As he glanced across at her, she caught his eye, giving him a smile of recognition, but not surprise. Sidney felt the bile rising in the back of his throat and, forgetting all about his coffee, swiftly exited the staffroom and headed back to his office. There he sat, at his desk, head in hands, trying to control his shaking. It was her. Sarah. Sarah Crawford.

_Jesus. Fuck. Shit._ Of all the people. What the hell was she doing back in Sussex? What the hell was she doing at his school? She hadn’t seemed surprised to see him in the least. Surely to god she hadn’t taken a job here on purpose? It had been five years or so since he’d last seen her, and he’d truly believed she was out of his life. He’d almost – not quite, but almost – forgotten all about her. He scanned his computer in search of the staff records and there was she was. Why hadn’t he seen this before? Must have been a late appointment or something. Sarah Crawford, Biology. Previous experience: Milton High in North London, Brighton Tech, and Sanditon Head. A brief maternity leave she had covered five years ago, shortly after Sidney had been appointed to senior management, long before Charlotte had ever appeared on the scene. Sarah had seduced him – in his office no less – after which they’d had a brief, predominantly carnal relationship, then she’d pursued and harassed him for months, even after she had left the school. In the end, he had been forced to enlist Bradley’s help and threaten her with a restraining order, after she had been spotted nosing around outside his house when he was at work. Fortunately, she had taken the hint and gone back to Brighton. And from there, it seemed, to London, but now she was back in Sussex.

He had been very wary of starting another relationship with a teacher and it had taken him months to confess his feelings to Charlotte, months of chatting in the car and getting to know each other, even though he had known instinctively that Charlotte was a very different woman altogether and that the bond they shared was something truly special. Sarah and he had nothing in common and little to talk about; it had started as pure lust and sexual release, and ended in extreme awkwardness and unease.

He had confessed most of this sorry affair to Charlotte – indeed it had been one factor in his initial reluctance to start a relationship with her until he was convinced she was a sane, reliable human being - but he had never quite explained all the gory details. She knew about the constant phone calls and the difficulty he had had ending the relationship, but she didn’t know about Sarah stalking his house or Sidney’s threat to involve the police and seek legal action. It was partly shame at his poor judgement and partly a wish to protect her from the more unsavoury parts of his past. He was 35 when he met Charlotte and he’d been around the block a few times, more than a few times in fact. She knew all about his divorce and about the other women in his past, but he spared her some of the details. When they’d discussed having children, he’d finally confessed to her about a past girlfriend who’d had a termination – many years ago and without his knowledge at the time. Charlotte had been understanding about it, but he knew it had upset her a little. Now he had Charlotte in his life, the last thing he wanted to do was upset her again, especially while she was heavily pregnant.

Sidney stayed in his office the rest of the morning, attempting to work and attempting to figure out a way to deal with this most unwelcome blast from the past. Ignoring her was the only option he came up with, but he couldn’t stay secluded in his office forever. Just before lunchtime however, there was a knock on the door.

“Come in.” The door opened. He swallowed. It was her.

She strode over towards his desk, a disarming smile on her face. “Goodness me, Sidney, there’s no need to look like that,” she laughed.

She sat down in the chair opposite, crossing her legs demurely and flashing him what almost seemed like a genuine smile.

“Hello Sarah,” he said, unsmiling, looking directly into her piercing green eyes. “Fancy seeing you here.”

She emitted a tinkle of laughter, bright but somehow tinny. Then she leaned forward, placing her hands on the desk.

“Honestly, Sidney, you look terrified. What do you think I’m going to do? I simply happen to have a job here. I had no idea you were working here until the other week when I looked at the staff list on the school website.”

“Okay. That’s fine then.” He turned back to his computer, unsure how to proceed, irritated that the ball seemed to be in her court.

She leaned back in the chair again, her skirt riding up slightly to show off her long, shapely legs. “Listen, Sidney, the past is the past. I came here to say... well, I know what happened in Sanditon was... unfortunate. I behaved badly. I apologise. I’ve moved on, honestly I have.”

He turned his head to face her, his expression inscrutable. “Good. Because so have I.”

“So I see,” she smiled, flashing a glance at his wedding ring. “Been married long?”

“A couple of years.” His face still betrayed no reaction.

“Teacher, is she? At Sanditon Head?”

“How the hell do you...?” He stopped, mentally kicking himself.

“Just a guess.” That tinny laugh again. “Dipping your pen in the ink again, eh? Do I know her?”

Sidney stood up, indicating the door. “Sarah, it’s really none of your business who I’m married to. As you said, the past is the past. So given that we’re going to be working together, I’d appreciate it if we could act as professionals. Understood? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot to be getting on with.” He gave her a brief smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Sarah rose from the chair, apparently unruffled. “Really Sidney, there’s no need to get so agitated. It was just a little fling after all, and it was years ago. I’ve been living with my boyfriend in London until recently, if you must know. I just fancied a change, so I came back to Sussex.” Her green eyes narrowed as she regarded him directly. “I am certainly not interested in raking up the past, which is precisely what I came to tell you. Honestly, don’t flatter yourself, it really wasn’t that memorable. You have nothing to fear from me.”

So saying, Sarah turned on her heel and left the office. Gripping the desk, Sidney stared out of the window at the students milling around, shouting and playfighting in the courtyard. He knew that he should feel relieved, but somehow he didn’t. He simply didn’t trust her.

Later that evening, he put his bike away in the shed and opened the back door to the kitchen. It was still light outside; one of those beautiful Indian summer September days. But the feeling of unease that had started in the pit of his stomach that morning was still there. All the way home, as he turned the pedals, he debated about whether to tell Charlotte. Her moods had been rather up and down of late – it was understandable, she wasn’t sleeping well, and it was only a few weeks until her due date. What would the stress of such news do to her nerves? What if it sent her into a heightened state of anxiety and sent her into premature labour? Such things were not unheard of. She was already ridiculously insecure at times, such as at Bradley’s wedding, when she had got upset over some stupid cow from secondary school. Recently things had been a little tense between them, both of them becoming increasingly nervous about the monumental change about to hit their lives, wondering whether their relationship would ever be the same again. They hadn’t had sex for a few weeks now and Sidney badly missed that connection with her. It wasn’t about fulfilling his physical needs; he missed the feeling of being close to her, as well as needing to release his tension and free his mind.

He opened the back door. She was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping a cup of tea and reading a magazine. She gave him such a beautiful smile that his heart melted. She looked adorable, her wavy brown hair softly falling around her face, the early evening sunshine reflecting on her curls and illuminating the little freckles on her nose.

“Hi.” She got up to greet him, wincing and holding her back with one hand as she did so. She lumbered towards him to give him a hug. Sidney held her tightly, inhaling her soft, warm scent. Closing his eyes, he kissed her hair. “Oh Charlotte,” he whispered, so quietly she didn’t even hear him.

“Did you have a good day?” she asked, standing back a little. “You look a bit tired.”

“Yeah, yeah, it was fine,” he replied, running his hands through his hair. “Nice and quiet without the students. How about you?”

“Actually, I had a lovely day. I didn’t do all that much. Mostly sat in the garden reading.” She giggled, looking a little sheepish.

He smiled tenderly at her. “That’s fine. It’s good for you to relax.”

“Yes, I feel much better. I think I’m going to try and enjoy these last few weeks as much as I can. Got a few books I want to read. I don’t expect there’ll be much time for that afterwards.”

“Good idea. Come here.” He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her lovingly. There was no way he could tell her now. “I love you Charlotte.”

“I love you too,” she breathed, kissing him back with passion.

“You hungry?” she asked. “I’m doing spaghetti.”

“Sounds great,” he murmured, holding her tight. She hadn’t cooked in a while, as she’d been so exhausted lately, and he really appreciated her efforts.

Charlotte was tired after dinner and went upstairs to lie down while Sidney washed up the dishes. Not long afterwards, he slipped into bed next to her; she was lying on her left side as usual, the only side she could comfortably sleep on.

“Oh,” she laughed, “he’s kicking again.” Sidney nuzzled behind her, wrapping his arm around her and placing his hand on her belly to feel their baby wriggling against the taut walls of her stomach.

“It’s not a he, Charlotte, it’s a she.”

“You’re wrong, it’s a he.”

“She.”

“He.”

After a while, the wriggling settled down.

“Any new teachers today?” she asked, yawning.

“Err... yeah, a couple. Didn’t really talk to anyone much, had lots of admin to catch up on.” Shit. He’d nearly forgotten about that. Sarah’s piercing green eyes, sharp features and long legs flashed before his mind.

Charlotte was now wriggling herself, nestling her bum backwards towards him. Taking his hand, she moved it up from her belly to her breasts.

“What’s up with you? Can’t you keep still?” he said, failing to understand her intentions.

Charlotte sighed and stopped moving. “Nothing. I just thought... oh never mind.” There was a pause. “It’s been a while, that’s all.”

“What’s been a while?”

“You know.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, darling.” A lame excuse but it was all he could come up with. He just didn’t feel he could summon an erection right now; his mind was clouded with poisonous thoughts.

With some difficulty, Charlotte heaved herself onto her other side to face him. “You won’t hurt me. Look Sidney, if you don’t want to do it, just say so.”

He noticed the look of hurt on her face and stroked her hair, focusing his gaze on the top of her forehead as he spoke. “It’s not that I don’t want to, darling, I’m just tired that’s all. Long day. To be honest, I thought you’d gone off the idea.”

She laughed softly. “Well no, I haven’t. It might even help relax me a little.”

“Okay, soon, I promise.” He kissed her. “Come on, let’s go to sleep.”

Charlotte turned around and drifted off to sleep almost instantly, for once. Sidney, on the other hand, lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling for quite some time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry!  
> I'd like to be able to write pure fluffiness and romance, but somehow I can't, real life keeps reminding me of things. And we need a bit of drama don't we? However there will be NO cheating and no splitting up, I promise!


	8. Communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and encouragement!  
> Charlotte's nearly ready to pop but not quite - probably tomorrow :)

Sidney was preoccupied for most of that week, Charlotte noticed. He came home late most nights, citing extra admin, and seemed to have trouble concentrating on what she was saying, his mind elsewhere as she told him about her day and what she’d been doing. Reading mainly, plus doing her breathing exercises, a little pregnancy yoga and enjoying the sunshine, along with all the usual household chores.

On Saturday morning Charlotte woke up to the sun streaming through the curtains and Sidney’s morning erection pressing against her back. Half asleep, he was idly playing with her breasts.

“You after something, Mr Parker?” she giggled.

“No, no, it’s okay,” he replied quickly, pulling away.

She craned her neck round to look at him. “Go on, you can if you want, I don’t mind.”

“To be honest Charlotte, it feels a bit weird now, like... like I’m pounding into Bean’s head or something,” he said sheepishly.

She laughed. “He can’t feel anything. If it bothers you, just go gently.”

“Yes but sometimes... oh never mind. Look, I’ll go and have a shower then I'll make breakfast, okay?” He quickly kissed her and jumped out of bed.

Charlotte rolled onto her back, frowning, slightly disappointed. Never mind. Sex was a bit cumbersome after all these days and she was looking forward to having her body and some degree of agility back, whenever that might be. She could just as easily release those tensions by herself. So she did.

Sidney stood under the shower, letting the hot water pelt over his face and his body, draining away all the stresses and worries of the week. It was true what he’d said to Charlotte: it did feel a bit strange now with the baby so close to birth and sometimes he didn’t feel like going gently; sometimes he just needed to release his tension. So he did.

******************

Much to his immense relief, since Monday, Sarah had left him alone. He had seen her around the school a few times and they’d acknowledged each other briefly, but they hadn't spoken. On Thursday, however, he’d caught the tail end of a conversation she was having in the staffroom, as he made his coffee in the kitchen area.

“Oh, so you were at Sanditon Head before?”

“Yes, a while ago.”

“You must have known Sidney Parker then? Before he came here?”

Sidney stopped stirring his coffee, his whole body tensing up.

“Just a little. Not that well.”

The tension in his body melted.

“Did you know Charlotte?”

“Sorry, who?”

“His wife. She’s an English teacher there. On maternity leave at the moment though, I think she’s due in a couple of weeks.”

“Oh right. No, I must have been there before her time. How lovely.”

The blood drained from Sidney’s face. Shit. Although it was inevitable really. Never mind. As long as Sarah continued to keep her distance.

She caught him at lunchtime, arriving at his table in the canteen just as he was getting up to leave.

“I believe congratulations are in order, Sidney. Who’d have thought it, eh? You, a father.” She raised an ironic eyebrow.

“Thanks,” he said non-committally, swiftly exiting the dining room.

**************

Now he was sitting in the garden with Charlotte, eating breakfast and drinking coffee. It was a beautiful day. Sidney gazed up at the low hills surrounding the cottage, the clear blue sky with just a few wispy clouds scudding across, and the birds soaring and calling to each other in the distance, buzzards most likely. He observed his beautiful wife sitting there chattering away, her hands waving around animatedly, her plump lips moving with laughter; life could not have been finer. However, he wasn’t really listening to what she was saying.

“Sidney, did you hear me?”

“Sorry, what?”

“Next Wednesday. I have a scan at 12. Can you come along?”

He checked his diary on his phone. “Okay, I’ll make it work. Promise.”

“So, are you going for a bike ride today?”

He set down his coffee. “No. Shall we go for a walk? I want to be with you. We won’t have many more moments like this, will we?”

Charlotte was surprised but touched. “Okay. Though you know I can’t walk very fast. And I’ll probably have to stop for a pee every five minutes!”

They drove to the top of one of the hills and spent a lovely few hours wandering along the ridge, looking out at the vista in front of them: the patchwork fields, the distant churches and villages, and the sea shimmering in the distance. To respond to Charlotte’s bladder needs, they stopped off at a pub, taking seats in the beer garden. Sidney returned from the bar with two cokes.

“You not having a pint?” she asked, surprised.

“No. Keep you company,” he smiled.

Sidney didn’t want anything to spoil this time they had together. In the shower this morning, he’d decided not to say anything about Sarah, not yet. There was no need. It was work, and it was not going to encroach upon his near-perfect home life. As Sarah herself had said, the past was the past. He only hoped she would stick to that.

Later that evening, Sidney cooked for them and then they watched a soppy film – Charlotte cried of course – after which he took her upstairs and made love to her slowly, focusing on her pleasure and only entering her gently once she was fully sated. Losing himself inside her, his hands stroking her peach-soft skin, he felt as if his whole body was enveloped in a tunnel of darkness, but it was a warm, comforting haven of peace, with no thoughts and no words, only emotions.

Afterwards they lay in silence, as he gently throbbed inside her.

“Mmm,” she murmured, “that was nice.”

He kissed her neck softly. “Yeah. Look, sorry about this morning. Had a stressful week, I guess.”

She reached backwards to stroke his head. “It’s fine. That’s what I’m here for; just release your stress anytime you feel like it.” She laughed and he laughed with her.

“I’m so glad I met you, Charlotte,” he sighed happily, holding her even tighter.

“Me too. Can you believe it’s four years since we first met?”

“Wow. Best years of my life.”

“Took you a while to finally decide what you wanted though, didn’t it?” she teased him.

“Hey, stuff happened. I always wanted you, you know that.”

“Hmm. Secrets and lies. Well, no more of that, eh?”

“No.” Sidney took a deep breath. Perhaps after all, he should just tell her, just come out with it. Now was as good a time as any; she was calm and happy. “Listen, Charlotte…” he began.

But Charlotte suddenly jerked forwards in the bed. “Oh my god!” she cried, holding her stomach.

“What is it?” Sidney sat up, concerned, but she couldn’t answer immediately. She was breathing heavily, holding on to her belly.

“Oh my god! It feels like a contraction,” she said between deep breaths. “Oh, it’s coming again!”

But then the contractions stopped as suddenly as they had started. “That’s weird, it’s gone away now. What's the time? Not too late, is it? Think I’d better phone Elinor. Can you get my phone for me?”

Sidney went in search of Charlotte’s phone and Charlotte then spent a few minutes talking animatedly to her sister. When she put the phone down, she was relieved and smiling.

“Elinor says they’re probably Braxton Hicks contractions. You get them in the weeks leading up to the birth, kind of like a practice. Nothing to worry about. Apparently,” Charlotte giggled, “they can be caused by orgasms.”

“You told your sister you just had an orgasm?” laughed Sidney.

“No, but she knows what we’re like,” laughed Charlotte. “God, it was a really strange feeling though. Come on, let’s go to sleep.”

Turning off the light, Sidney nestled into her back, not quite sure what to think.

***********************

Sidney came along to Charlotte’s scan, which was to check that the baby was in the right position, as the midwife had been concerned it might be breech. Fortunately, he or she had now done a neat somersault and had his or head firmly in the direction of the birth canal. Sidney and Charlotte stared with wonder at the little human bobbing around on the screen; at the first scan, it had looked like a small bean, at the second, 20-week scan, like a tiny alien, but this time it actually looked like a real life baby. This was really happening. Sidney dropped Charlotte off at home and returned to school, smiling and humming to himself as he drove.

The fine September weather continued. The next day, Mary came round to visit Charlotte and take tea in the garden. Charlotte was delighted to see her; they didn’t see each other as often now as, since her divorce from Tom, Mary had moved to the other side of Brighton and worked full-time as a receptionist. Today she had a day off, however, and she arrived bearing gifts for Charlotte: bubble bath, a back massager and chocolates.

“So, Charlotte,” enquired Mary, sipping her tea, “how are you feeling?”

Charlotte smiled. “Remarkably relaxed, actually. I mean, I’m a bit nervous about the birth, but everything’s going really well so far.”

“Oh, the birth is the easy bit,” laughed Mary.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s the months and years afterwards you have to worry about. God forbid you end up with teenage girls. My two are driving me to distraction at the moment!” Mary laughed, but with some exasperation in her voice.

“I can imagine,” smiled Charlotte, “Alison and I used to drive my mum up the wall too. And how’s little Henry?”

“Not so little now. Ten next birthday. Still as lovely and annoying as ever. He’s always asking when we’re going to see you next, you must come over after the birth.”

“Yes, we will,” agreed Charlotte. “And how’s Colin?” Colin was Mary’s new partner and they had recently moved in together.

“He’s lovely,” sighed Mary happily. “So patient with the children. Of course, he has his own, so he’s used to it, though he only sees them at weekends.”

“And Tom? Is he still seeing that um… what was her name, Rebecca?”

“I’m not sure,” frowned Mary. “He doesn’t give much away. But he’s happy in his job. He’d really like to open up his own café again, but I doubt the banks will let him.”

There was a pause as they sipped their tea.

Charlotte leaned back in her chair, her hands resting on her belly, gazing up at the clear blue sky. Although it was warm, there was a slight breeze in the air today, and the nights were beginning to get colder. She drew her cardigan around her, as far as it would stretch.

“Mary… I just worry a little about how things will be between me and Sidney after the birth. I mean, it’s a huge change, isn’t it? He’s been a bit stressed lately with work, and I haven’t been sleeping well, and sometimes we… well, we get on each other’s nerves.”

“Well,” replied Mary, pursing her lips somewhat sarcastically, “as long as you don’t do what Tom and I did, you’ll be fine.”

“Mary…” Charlotte patted her arm.

“Sorry, I’m over-exaggerating as usual, but essentially, you just have to keep talking. Don’t hide what you’re feeling. That was our downfall.”

“Yes, you’re right,” nodded Charlotte. There was another pause. “What about the…um… physical side of things? Is it difficult, you know, afterwards? Sorry,” she blushed, “I haven’t got many people to ask. I’m a bit embarrassed to talk to my sister about that kind of thing.”

“Oh goodness me,” laughed Mary, her teacup clattering on the saucer, “that’ll be the last thing on your mind, honestly. Tom and I didn’t do it for months!”

“Oh I see,” Charlotte blushed a little, staring at the table.

“Charlotte, don’t worry,” reassured Mary, “Having a child is a huge change. It’s almost impossible to describe it to someone who’s never experienced it. You’ll see what I mean when you come out the other side.” She smiled. “You won’t have any time for yourself, not in the early days at least, and you’re bound to have ups and downs in your relationship, but Sidney adores you. More than adores you. He’ll be a wonderful dad, we all know that, look how good he is with my kids. And these last few years, since he’s been with you, I’ve never seen him look so happy. You two are made for each other.”

Charlotte smiled at her, a little emotional. “Thank you. I adore him too.”


	9. The big day

September rolled into October and as Charlotte’s due date got nearer and nearer, she got jumpier and jumpier. Her moods swung from deliriously excited to extremely irritable and Sidney often felt like he was treading on eggshells. He had arranged to take two weeks’ paternity leave and, with any luck, this would roll in to the October half term and he would be able to spend three weeks at home with Charlotte and the new baby. The new baby. It was all coming true at last. He tried to be extra-patient and forgive Charlotte her moods; his precious wife was carrying a precious child, something that at one time in his life he had thought would never happen.

There was another source of relief too: Sarah was being as good as her word and leaving him well alone. Occasionally he would have to talk to her on a work-related matter and she was always polite and professional, even if her gaze did linger on him a little longer than was necessary. Once he overheard her talking to another teacher about her boyfriend, describing a lavish date he had taken her on in London. All good news: Sarah was attached to someone else, Sarah wasn’t interested in him any more, it was all one big coincidence and, at least for the moment, there was no need to trouble Charlotte about any of it.

Charlotte was becoming more and more restless: when he came home from work, instead of reading with her feet up, she was to be found cleaning and tidying, unable to sit still - nesting, she called it. At night, she tossed and turned, fidgeting in the bed. One night, he grabbed her playfully around her stomach to stop her moving.

“My god, you’re worse than the baby!” he joked, kissing her cheek.

“I just can’t get comfortable,” she puffed. “I can’t relax, I keep worrying about things – have we forgotten something? Have I got everything in my hospital bag? What if I can’t cope with labour? What if something goes wrong? What if I forget how to breathe?”

“Charlotte, stop,” he laughed, nuzzling her nose, “What if it all goes really well? You’ve had a textbook pregnancy, I’m sure you’ll have a textbook labour.”

“I just want to get on with it. I’ve had enough now,” she moaned. “Only five days to go and I haven’t felt any of those contractions for ages.”

“Oh well, you know what brings them on...” The corners of his mouth turned up mischievously.

“No, Sidney, we can’t, it doesn’t feel right...”

“I didn’t say we had to do that, did I? Maybe I could just... relax you a little.”

“You know what’s supposed to work?” she mused, “nipple tweaking. Elinor said one woman did it for three hours when she was overdue and it started her contractions.”

“Hmm,” said Sidney, moving into position, “I think I could be persuaded to do that...”

“No, you’re supposed to use your fingers,” laughed Charlotte as he lapped his tongue gently around her swollen, darkened areola. Somehow he found this area of her body even more erotic now she was pregnant; it was swollen with life and swollen with promise.

He lifted his head, grinning. “Please. I won’t get much look in soon, will I?”

She laid back and relaxed. The sensation was a mixture of acute, almost painful tenderness mixed with waves of pleasure that tingled erotically all through her body. Was this what it would feel like with the baby? Surely not. As Sidney licked and sucked, she ran her hands through his beautiful wavy hair, enjoying the rasping feel of his growing beard against her skin. Lifting his head to her mouth, she kissed him over and over, gazing into his eyes and smiling at him in between each kiss.

“What do you want to do?” he whispered, finding it hard to conceal his arousal. ~~~~

“Can you just hold me and stroke me? Is that okay?”

“Of course,” he smiled.

As she lay on her back, Sidney laid his head on her shoulder, gently stroking her breasts and her belly, tickling her lightly and making her laugh, as they chatted about their future child, the names they had decided on and what life would be like in the future when their son or daughter was a toddler, a teenager or even an adult. They laughed as they imagined themselves in middle age, old age, forever bound by the small human who would soon be making an appearance.

Eventually, she turned the light off and shifted onto her side to go to sleep.

“Feel a bit more relaxed now?” he asked.

“Yes. I love you, Sidney.”

He kissed her head sleepily. “Love you too.”

************************

The very next day, Charlotte began to feel a strange stirring, deep in her pelvis. Oddly enough, it felt like period cramps and her thighs felt shaky and weak. This continued all morning and then, as she sat at the kitchen table at lunchtime, attempting to eat some soup and bread, she experienced her first proper contraction. It felt like an enormous hand gripping her stomach tightly, twisting it agonisingly as if wringing out a cloth, then slowly releasing it. Nothing happened for about 15 minutes, then it started again. By the time Sidney came home from work, the contractions were coming every 10 minutes or so and he walked in the door to find her sprawled on the sofa, watching one of her favourite Jane Austen films.

“I’m getting contractions,” she said as he kissed her.

“Oh! Should we go to the hospital?” he exclaimed excitedly.

“No,” she laughed, “they’re not regular enough yet. No panic. I might even be able to get to the end of Pride and Prejudice.”

He made her a cup of tea and sat beside her, but he couldn’t keep still, so she ordered him into the kitchen to prepare some food. However, she found it hard to eat much. The contractions were coming at regular intervals, although still quite far apart, and this went on for most of the night. Neither of them got much sleep. At around 3am she got up to go to the loo - again - and noticed something strange come out of her.

“I think I’ve had a show,” she said to Sidney, waking him up again.

“What’s that?” he asked blearily.

“Sidney, didn’t you listen to anything in those classes? It’s like a plug that... oh never mind, it means that labour’s starting for real. Well, hopefully. But let’s try and rest. Elinor says it’s important not to get too tired in case this goes on for days.”

“Days? Christ.” He groaned and laid back, closing his eyes, already exhausted.

At 7.30am he was awakened with a poke to the ribs.

“What is it? Oh shit, I’m going to be late for work.”

“Never mind that,” she said, “you’re taking me to hospital.” The contractions were now coming every five or six minutes and Charlotte was finding it increasingly painful.

Sidney drove them to hospital, taking care on the speed bumps, as Charlotte writhed and groaned on the back seat. “Should we have gone earlier?” he asked, concerned.

“No,” she panted between breaths. “This is only the beginning. It’s going to get much worse...”

Everything in the hospital happened in a blur. Nurses, doctors, examinations, monitoring, checks and tests, forms to fill in. Charlotte was right; it was only the beginning. Her labour was long, difficult and tiring, just as her sister had warned it might be her first time. The midwife gave her gas and air which she sucked on greedily as if it was oxygen itself. Sidney held her hand, mopped her brow, and generally stood around feeling like a spare part, but she wouldn’t let him go. She paced around, she knelt on the bed, and she gripped his shoulders as the contractions got stronger and stronger.

“Oh god,” she begged the midwife. “Give me pethidine or something, please!”

“I can’t, you’re too dilated for that I’m afraid. You could have an epidural if you want.”

She shook her head. “No, it’s okay, I don’t want that, not unless I have to.”

“Maybe you should, Charlotte,” said Sidney. He hated to see her in pain. She simply shook her head and inhaled on the gas and air. The contractions were coming thick and fast now and there was no more time to speak. The birth was like nothing he had ever imagined, nothing like the births he’d seen on TV programmes. He was beginning to wish he’d listened to his sister’s gory stories more closely. Charlotte refused to lie down, saying it was better to work with gravity rather than against it, she refused an anaesthetic, saying it was better to feel the pushing, and she sweated, shouted and swore her way through labour – quite frequently at him. “Oh god this is all your bloody fault, Sidney Parker!” she screamed.

Eventually, late in the afternoon of that day, Thursday 7th October, the baby’s head crowned and with one final push and one final, ear-piercing groan, a messy, slimy, bloody bundle made its way slowly out of her, caught by the midwives. Sidney simply stared in total shock and awe as a small face emerged from his wife’s vagina, its eyes screwed tightly shut and a shock of dark hair on its head. The baby gasped for air then suddenly emitted a piercing cry. Still staring in wonder, a broad grin spread across his face. He had almost forgotten Charlotte was still there.

She was – at last - collapsing back onto the bed, bolstered up by pillows, as the midwife handed the child to her, giggling from the effects of the drugs, unable to speak. The midwife cut the cord as Charlotte lifted the baby towards her breast, then looked up at Sidney.

“You have a son, Mr and Mrs Parker,” said the midwife, beaming.

Charlotte laughed. “Told you so.”

The midwives cleaned the baby up, wrapped him in a blanket and handed him to Sidney. “There you go. Your wife needs to deliver the placenta now. And um... I’m afraid we need to stitch her up. She’s quite badly torn. We’ll give her a local, don’t worry. Perhaps you could take the baby over there.” The midwife patted his arm, pointing to the other end of the room.

Cradling the small bundle in his arms, Sidney walked over towards a small window that looked out into the hospital courtyard. Porters were trundling around with their trolleys and patients were being pushed on wheelchairs. It all seemed slightly surreal. He looked down at his new son. “Hello there,” he said softly, forgetting for now about what was happening to Charlotte, although the midwife’s words had caused him some concern. He and Charlotte had been arguing about names for months, and had finally settled on two very similar options, a girl’s name and a boy’s name.

“Hello Oliver,” he whispered to his son. “Welcome to the world. Oliver Henry Parker.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow Charlotte's birth experience ended up being like the birth experience I would have liked to have had, but didn't :) (apart from the tear that is).  
> Sympathy for all the couples that have had babies under difficult circumstances this year, especially the dads who haven't been able to attend the birth...


	10. Early days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have a busy week of work ahead so probably won't post as frequently, but I thought I'd put up another happy chapter for Mr and Mrs Parker and their new son.

A day later, Sidney sat by Charlotte’s bedside in hospital as she fed Oliver. It had been difficult for her to get the baby to latch on at first, but the midwives had helped her and it was gradually getting easier. After a while, she switched sides and he watched in amazement as his son’s greedy little mouth clamped hungrily around her nipple, Charlotte wincing slightly as he latched on.

“He seems to know what he’s doing,” grinned Sidney, thinking back to only a couple of days ago, when he had been doing something similar. That seemed like another lifetime now. “Is that the milk then?”

She rolled her eyes. “You really didn’t listen did you? The first few days it’s called colostrum, it contains all the antibodies. Takes a few days for the milk to come in.”

“Yes of course.” Sidney stroked Oliver’s foot. “Look at his tiny feet.”

“I think they’re quite big actually,” she grinned. “Like his dad.”

“Oh well you know what they say about men with big feet...”

“Stop it, Sidney, his balls are only huge because of the hormones... Ow,” she winced sharply.

“What is it?” he asked, concerned. “Your nipple?”

“No, no, it’s my... err... my bum. It’s really uncomfortable sitting like this. They had to give me a lot of stitches you know. Ouch. Elinor says I should get a special cushion to sit on at home.”

“Okay.” He kissed her forehead. “You were bloody amazing, you know that don’t you, Charlotte? Even if you did nearly rip my shirt and swear at me like a fishwife...”

“Sorry. Come here.” She kissed him lovingly. “You were pretty good too. No, you were, honest. You stayed calm. You sure you didn’t mind... you know... watching it? Some men say it puts them off going near their wife’s bits ever again.” She wrinkled her nose.

“Charlotte, you really think that’s going to put me off?” he grinned. “Surely you know me by now.”

“Well you might have to wait a while... quite a while...” she grimaced. “Ouch. Jesus Christ. I know one thing, Sidney, I’m not doing this again.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean, I’m exhausted,” he teased her. “That’s exactly what Mary said, by the way. And Susan.” Susan, his sister Diana’s partner, had given birth to a baby girl two years ago and they were now trying to conceive again.

“Well I guess it gets easier each time... I hope so... Oh, god I’m tired. I think I could sleep for a thousand years.” Oliver had finished feeding and had nodded off to sleep. “Can you put him in the cot please?” She handed Sidney his son and laid back against the pillows, sighing with relief.

“Goes to sleep easily, doesn’t he?” said Sidney, amazed.

“Don’t be fooled,” smiled Charlotte. “Apparently they’re often sleepy the first few days. Can you stay a while?”

Sidney laid down next to her on the bed and held her close, inhaling the milky softness of her skin. “This is nice,” he murmured. “The house is so quiet without you.”

“The doctors say I can go home tomorrow,” she said sleepily.

“Good. I miss you.” Tenderly, he kissed her cheek.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too,” he whispered back, but she was already dozing off. After cuddling her for a few minutes, Sidney got up quietly and, peeping into the cot at his son, also sleeping peacefully, left the ward and went home.

*******************

Sidney and Charlotte stood in their bedroom, both staring down at Oliver, snuggled up in his sleepsuit, lying spread-eagled on the bed.

“Oh my god, Sidney, what have we done?” laughed Charlotte. “Are we actually responsible for this... person?”

“Looks like it,” he grinned. “Cup of tea?”

The next few days and weeks were a blur of feeding, dirty nappies, bathing and laundry. But mostly feeding, or so it felt to Charlotte. She was beginning to understand exactly what it felt like to be a cow on the farm in Dorset, although at least they got to stand around eating grass most of the day. Her meals were taken on the fly, often with a fork in one hand, while she held the baby with the other. Elinor had told her to feed on demand, but after the first few sleepy days in hospital, Oliver suddenly woke up with a vengeance and demanded to be fed nearly every hour, or so it seemed.

The first day her milk came in was nothing short of astonishing. She was sitting on her special cushion on the bed when Sidney came in the room, bringing her a large glass of water and a snack. He nearly dropped the plate.

“Oh my god, Charlotte, your tits!”

“What about my tits?” she asked, somewhat annoyed.

“Sorry, but they’re fucking enormous!”

“Thanks,” she said, looking down at them. “Yes, I suppose they are. Bloody hell. They’re so... hard. Come and feel them.”

Sidney of course needed no invitation, but they felt nothing like he’d ever experienced before. “Does it hurt?” he asked, concerned.

“No, it’s okay, it’s just the milk. I’m lucky really, aren’t I? Some women really struggle with this.”

“Yes, Susan didn’t get on with it at all, she had to switch to bottles pretty quickly.”

“Well, everyone’s different. Doesn’t really matter, does it? Pretty exhausting, but at least it means I can eat as much as I like,” she grinned, biting hungrily into the toast he’d brought her. Just then, the sound of a minor explosion came from Oliver’s rear end. “Oh god,” she said, “Not again. Can you do it?”

Sidney took Oliver away to change him. He didn’t mind doing this one bit; at least it was something he could do. He vaguely remembered Tom helping feed the babies with bottles from time to time, but he had certainly never seen Tom change a nappy. He changed Oliver swiftly. He’d already been sprayed with piss once, and he wasn’t keen to experience that again.

Those first few weeks were hard work, and neither of them got much sleep, but in some ways they were an idyll. Shut away from the world in their tiny country cottage, there was no need to venture out except for provisions and emergencies. Instead, everyone came to them. Mr and Mrs Heywood travelled up from Dorset to inspect their latest grandchild, staying for the afternoon and then returning home. They were thrilled for Charlotte but she wasn’t keen to have her mum flapping around her for too long. Elinor, however, once she could get the time off, came up and stayed for a couple of nights and was a great help to Charlotte, as were Mary, Susan and Diana, and Tom, who were all over the moon to see Sidney finally become a father. Jenny, Alicia and Henry were excited beyond belief, especially Henry, who was relieved to finally have another boy in the family. Even Arthur popped round to do his doting uncle thing. Alison, now living in Bournemouth with her boyfriend and working for an advertising firm, also came to visit. All those visitors, plus their many friends, especially Esther and Brad of course, became rather exhausting, and Charlotte was almost glad once the last one had gone home and it was just the three of them again.

They sat on the floor of the living room, surrounded by cards, gifts and messages, Oliver for once sleeping peacefully in a crib at their side, as they took it in turns to open the cards and read the greetings. There was a large card and a voucher signed by all of Charlotte’s colleagues and a similar one from Sidney’s fellow teachers. He sneaked a quick look and was relieved to see that all Sarah had written was ‘ _Congratulations! Lovely photo_ ’, followed by her name and a row of xxx, not so different from some of the other teachers. He frowned, then remembered the shots that Arthur had taken of the three of them, one of which, in the euphoria of new fatherhood, he’d sent on an All Staff email to his colleagues.

Charlotte opened up another card. “Oh my god,” she said. “It’s from Mrs Denham. Well, that’s nice of her. Looks like she and Roland are living it up in Torremolinos.”

But Sidney was staring in some surprise at the card he’d just opened. “Who’s it from?” asked Charlotte.

He handed it to her a little awkwardly. “Read it yourself. Crowe must have told her.”

_‘To Sidney, Charlotte and baby, Many congratulations, with love from Eliza, Charles, Isabella and Archibald.’_

“Archibald!” giggled Charlotte. “Since when did she have an Archibald?”

“Last year I think. I bet she’s already got his name down for Harrow. But look at the voucher she sent.”

“Wow! £100 John Lewis voucher. Well, that’s nice of her.”

“You think? What’s she trying to do?”

“Sidney.” Charlotte put a hand on his arm. “Did it ever occur to you she might be genuinely trying to make amends? Come on, it was ten years ago now, maybe it’s time to bury the hatchet.”

“You think so?” He looked unsure.

“Yes. People change, you know. Look at Esther and her dad, they see each other regularly now. I think it’s really generous of Eliza.”

“Yeah, I guess. Although £100 is probably a drop in the ocean to her. But you’re right, maybe it’s time to let go of the past.” He looked ruefully at Charlotte. “You’re too good, you are.”

“Don’t be daft. Come here.” She gave him a hug.

“We'll have to write to her and say thank you, you know,” Sidney sighed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll do it,” smiled Charlotte.

“Okay, thanks.” He grinned. “When you do, do you think you could ask her to return those CDs of mine she still has?”

“Yeah right, don’t push your luck, Mr Parker.” Charlotte kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in a forgiving mood at the moment - maybe even Eliza isn't that bad after all :)


	11. Autumn blues

Over the next couple of weeks, Sidney and Charlotte settled into a routine of sorts, falling asleep exhausted whenever they got the chance, only to wake again a few hours later. All too soon, however, it was time for Sidney to go back to work, and Charlotte was beginning to dread the day. He had spent three weeks constantly by her side, shopping, cooking, doing the laundry, bringing her drinks, changing Oliver’s nappies, soothing him to sleep, but now it was all up to her.

The first few days on her own, Charlotte enjoyed the sense of freedom, but she couldn’t help feeling a little lonely. She was used to working in a busy school, surrounded by people all day long, with the constant mental challenge of keeping a class of 30 teenagers interested and engaged in what they were doing, not to mention all the preparation, the marking and the days when teaching felt more like babysitting a bunch of overgrown toddlers and all her idealistic dreams of imparting the joy of literature were reduced to an exercise in crowd control. It was exhausting and unrelenting, but it was challenging. She loved it and she found herself missing the students, even the annoying ones. She also missed her colleagues, who had been a great support to her ever since she had arrived in Sanditon four years ago. Mrs Griffiths, her slightly scatty but very warm-hearted head of department, Sally Fairfax, another English teacher, Clara, who still headed up the Music department, and many more. Leon, the attractive young PE teacher, who at one time had something of a crush on Charlotte, had moved on to another school in Brighton, but she still bumped into him occasionally, and Frances Price, another PE teacher, was still at Sanditon and had recently got married herself. She and Charlotte were not close but they got on fine.

The dramatic events of four years ago now seemed like the distant past; her life had changed so much since. Now she had to adjust to her own company, day in, day out, with little to occupy her mind except daytime TV and the odd page of a book she got to read while feeding, provided she was able to concentrate. Her mind seemed to be all over the place and her body was still very much in recovery mode: still sore from the birth, still bleeding in fact, lumps, bumps and stretch marks everywhere and occasionally very sore breasts when the milk ducts got blocked. Elinor had told her to apply cabbage leaves and Sidney had laughed in disbelief when she asked him to go out at 9pm at night to find a Savoy cabbage, but in fact sitting in a hot bath with flannels over her breasts seemed to work just as well. She smiled, remembering that evening, and how concerned Sidney had been. He really was a wonderful man and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her.

October turned into November; the leaves fell from the trees, the weather got colder and wetter and it was harder for Charlotte to get out and about. Some days Oliver seemed to spend the whole time crying and feeding, other days he was more settled and she would enjoy simply lying on the bed, marvelling at him and his perfect little nose, his tiny ears, his big rounded belly, scissor-like legs and long, narrow feet, his tiny little toes. She loved to feel the prehensile grip of his minuscule, wrinkled little hand on her finger, while she talked to him softly, telling him how much they loved him, imagining their future together. Other days however, she would lie there, silently crying while he fidgeted and fussed, willing him to go to sleep, just for 20 minutes or something, so that she could grab a coffee, go to the loo or even have a quick shower.

One day, Esther came round to visit. It was lunchtime and Charlotte suddenly realised she hadn’t prepared anything, but she needn’t have worried as Esther arrived bearing containers of soup, vegan rolls and homemade cakes.

“Oh Esther, you’re wonderful!” beamed Charlotte. “I do miss your cooking.”

Charlotte winced as she sat down at the kitchen table. “What is it?” asked Esther.

“Second degree tear in the perineum,” grimaced Charlotte. “Quite a few stitches.”

“Oh god, poor you,” sympathised Esther. “Bit of a design fault really, isn’t it? Something that large,” she pointed to Oliver’s head, “coming out of something that tight.”

Charlotte couldn’t help laughing, even though it hurt her insides to do so. “It’s not that tight any more I’m afraid. There certainly won’t be any shagging for a while yet.”

“No, I expect that’s the last thing on your mind. Ouch.” Esther pulled a face. "And how's Sidney coping?"

Charlotte paused. She'd been so focused on herself and the baby, she honestly hadn't thought that much about whether Sidney was coping or not; he just seemed to get on with things. "He's fine. Actually, he's lovely, very patient with me. I can be a bit... up and down some days I guess."

Esther stopped eating and leaned across the table, looking directly at Charlotte. "You mean you feel depressed? You can talk about it if you want, you know Charlotte."

"No," replied Charlotte, "not depressed as such. Just adjusting to things, I guess. It's a big change going from working full time to spending your days wiping up shit and vomit," she grinned.

"Perhaps you need to get out a bit more, meet some other mums? You are a little isolated here."

"Yes. I've been to a couple of groups, but they do tend to go on a bit about sleeping and feeding. Can get a bit competitive almost. But you're right, I should make more effort. Anyway, how are you? Found a house yet?” asked Charlotte, tucking in hungrily.

“I think so, yes. Not far from the train station. Finally got my flat on the market too, so it’s just a question of whether it all goes through at the right time.”

“I kind of miss Sanditon,” said Charlotte wistfully. “I mean it’s gorgeous here, don’t get me wrong, but I miss the sea and being able to walk to work.”

“Yes, I suppose Sanditon has its charms,” laughed Esther.

“So what about you and Brad?” enquired Charlotte. “Did you get any joy at the doctor’s?”

Esther paused, spoon in hand. “Well, I’ve had some tests and they think I might have trouble ovulating. I’ve always had irregular periods, but I never really thought about it before. I’m going to try a fertility drug to help things along a bit.”

“Oh, that’s great,” said Charlotte.

“Yes, except I might end up with bloody twins or something. Though I guess that could be a bonus. Buy one get one free, sort of thing.”

“Oh my god, I can’t imagine twins.” Charlotte’s mouth fell open in horror. “One is bad enough. Oh, I don’t mean it like that,” she added quickly, seeing the look on Esther’s face, “it’s just I hardly have time to do anything, I can’t even remember the last time I washed my hair,” she laughed, running her hands through her slightly lank locks.

“Why don’t you go and have a shower now, then? I’ll keep an eye on him,” smiled Esther. Oliver was asleep in his pram in the corner.

“You sure? That’d be wonderful,” Charlotte smiled.

Charlotte disappeared upstairs for a shower. When she returned, Esther was holding Oliver in her arms, attempting to comfort him as he mewled and whimpered, rocking him gently as she looked out the window at the grey November sky.

“I’m doing my best, but I think he wants his mum,” she said, rolling her eyes. She quickly passed him over.

Charlotte sat down, lifted up her top and undid her bra, ready to feed. He latched on and began sucking noisily. She looked up and smiled. Esther was staring in amazement.

“What is it?”

“Your breasts. My goodness. You were always well endowed but...” she looked at her own, much flatter chest. “If mine ever get like that, Brad will think all his Christmases have come at once,” she laughed.

“Men, eh?”

**************************

Sidney, meanwhile, was not especially enjoying being back at work. The winter term always dragged and catching up on his own workload after being absent for three weeks was not easy. He missed being at home with his small family and couldn’t wait to leave the office at night, although these days he seemed to end up staying later and later, attempting to concentrate and usually failing. The broken nights were getting to him too. Charlotte tried as hard as she could not to wake him, but it was inevitable that his sleep would be disturbed. He would wake up to find a cold, empty space next to him, go for a piss and, looking in on the baby’s room on his way back would see Charlotte and Oliver curled up next to each other on the bed, fast asleep. Charlotte had explained that it was often easier to sleep with the baby after feeding, rather than attempt to put him back in his cot, and it was better and safer to do so on her own, without the heavy duvet that Sidney favoured in winter. But this meant that Charlotte was not sleeping beside him, and he missed her. Sometimes he would slip off to work early in the morning without even saying goodbye, as he didn’t want to wake her.

He would return at around 5pm, if he was lucky, wondering what kind of mood she would be in when he walked in the door. Some days she was full of smiles, and would kiss him happily, telling him about her day and what they had been up to. She might even have started cooking dinner. Other days, she would have a distracted, harassed look about her and wouldn’t appear particularly pleased to see him. One evening, he came in to find her sitting on the floor, sobbing, and when he asked her what the matter was, she said she didn’t even know. He held her tightly and let her cry in his arms, after which he managed to prepare some food, rocking Oliver in his pram at the same time, while she had a lie down.

One evening at the end of November, Sidney had to attend a parents’ evening. He wasn’t teaching that many classes himself now, but as an Assistant headteacher, he generally had to be present at any event attended by parents or prospective parents. The weeks leading up to Christmas seemed to be the worst time for these occasions, just when he would have liked to get home early for once. At the end of the evening, once all the parents had gone, he stood at the entrance door to the main hall, impatiently jangling his keys, waiting for a few stray members of staff to finish up and leave. Near him was a group of teachers, idly chatting. One of them was Sarah. She noticed him waiting at the door and gestured to her colleagues that they should go. As they passed Sidney, she stopped and smiled.

“Sidney, you couldn’t possibly give me a lift home, could you? I couldn’t get my car to start this morning so I walked in. It’s only a short drive. Would you mind?” she asked, in the most nonchalant of tones.

Sidney looked at the other teachers accompanying her. Why hadn’t she asked them? If no one else had been present, he would have refused. Now it would seem churlish. “Sure, yes okay,” he stammered. “Are you ready now? Because I’m going straightaway.”

“Yes of course,” she smiled. “Bye!” she called cheerily to the others, as she followed Sidney out of the main door and towards his car. They didn’t speak.

 _Fuck,_ he thought. _Fuck!_ Calm. Nothing’s going to happen. Just drop her off and go home.

Sarah climbed in the passenger seat, turning to him with a smile, as she inserted the seat belt in the clasp, crossing her long, slender legs. “Thanks for this.” She yawned a little. “God, that was exhausting, wasn’t it?”

“Where do you live?” he asked, a little tersely. She gave him the address, not far from the centre of town. The car was filled with the overpowering scent of her perfume; a heady, rather sickly floral blend.

“I hope it’s not too far out of your way. You live out in the country, don’t you?”

“Yes. It’s fine. It’s on my way,” he lied, to put her off the trail. Their village was in fact in the other direction.

To his relief, she chatted amicably about the parents’ evening; the usual moaning about this or that unwilling student or disinterested parent. He nodded along, giving her one-word answers.

“Here it is, on the left, number 42.” She pointed to a small terraced house. There were no lights on in the windows. As she undid her seat belt, she leaned over towards him. “Want to come in for a coffee?” she asked lightly, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

“No thanks,” he snapped, swallowing. “I have to get home, sorry.”

Sarah laughed. “God, you couldn’t get those words out fast enough, could you? How is fatherhood anyway? How’s the baby, Oliver isn’t it?”

He looked at her, his eyes narrowing. “Fine. Everything’s fine.”

“And Charlotte? Is she coping well?” A sympathetic smile.

Christ, he thought, she’s certainly made it her business to know everything. “She’s fine, yes. Look, Sarah, I’ve got to go.”

“Well, now you know where I live. If you ever fancy a coffee.” That tinny laugh again.

Sidney said nothing, staring straight ahead, waiting for her to go. He turned his head. She had still made no move to leave; instead she was staring at him with a slightly glazed look in her eyes.

“I like the beard, by the way,” she said quietly. “Kind of rugged.” In the gloom of the car, he could just see the tip of her tongue on her lips.

 _Christ_ , he thought. He’d started growing a beard during his paternity leave, although Charlotte wasn’t sure if she liked it; it tickled her when they kissed and it made him look older, she said. Sidney thought that was a good thing: he was tired of unwanted attention from women. It wasn’t just because of Sarah; he would often catch random women staring at him when he was out and about with Charlotte, and now that he was a husband and father, he wanted to be treated seriously, not like the minor sex object he had been – and mostly enjoyed being – in his younger days. But if Sarah liked it, well then, he’d shave the fucking thing off. Tomorrow.

He turned somewhat sharply towards her. “I thought you had a boyfriend,” he said pointedly. “From London?”

“Oh no,” she smiled, her green eyes flashing. “I _had_ a boyfriend in London. More than one, actually. But I’m not in London any more, am I?”

He cleared his throat. “I heard you talking about a date you’d been on the other weekend – he took you up the Oxo Tower for dinner or something.”

“Oh that,” she laughed, “that was ages ago. With Rob. Yes, that was fun. We got rather frisky in the lift, as I remember.”

“Right. Well, whatever. Good night, Sarah.” Sidney turned to face the steering wheel again, gritting his teeth, his jaw clenched.

Sarah opened the door and climbed out gracefully. “Night!” she called.

Sidney put the car in gear and sped off, perspiration on his brow and the palms of his hands. _What the fuck was she up to?_


	12. Rugged

By the time he approached the cottage, he had calmed down. He switched the engine off and sat there in silence for a few seconds. The kitchen light was on. What kind of mood would she be in tonight? Should he tell her? He opened the car door and immediately heard the piercing sound of Oliver’s scream. Oh dear, that didn’t bode well.

Gathering his face into a smile, he opened the back door. “Hi darling!” he called.

Charlotte spun round, baby in arms. Unsmiling, her face streaked with tears, she rushed towards him. “There. You take him,” she sobbed. “I can’t. I just can’t... I’ve had enough. I’m going to have a shower. Sorry.” She bundled Oliver into his arms and ran for the door. Sidney stood there mutely. He hadn’t even taken his coat off.

Charlotte turned in the doorway. “Where have you been anyway? You’re really late. I called you three times but there was no answer.” Her voice was shrill.

“I had a parents’ evening...” he began lamely, but she was gone.

Sidney sighed and lifted Oliver up above his head. “Hello there,” he smiled. “You won’t shout at me, will you? Have you been a little pickle today?” Cradling his son in his arms, he paced around the kitchen, lifting him over his shoulder and patting his back. Oliver let out a loud burp and Sidney groaned as he noticed a pool of regurgitated milk forming on his coat. Oh well. There were worse things.

Fifteen minutes later, Charlotte appeared in the doorway, wrapped in a large towel, with another towel perched on her head. She looked across at Sidney, standing by the kitchen sink with a sleeping Oliver on his shoulder.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” she said sheepishly. “I shouldn’t take it out on you. Just been one of those days, he wouldn't stop crying. I think he’s got a touch of colic.”

She approached her husband and child, and reached up to stroke Sidney’s chin. “Sorry,” she whispered.

“It’s okay, I understand,” he replied, looking at her with love in his eyes. “You’re doing a brilliant job, just remember that. Oliver told me so.”

She laughed, her brown eyes twinkling at last.

“That’s better,” he said. “I like to see you smile. I'll put him in his crib, shall I?” They went through to the living room where Sidney placed Oliver down gently in the crib. Taking Charlotte’s hand, he led her over to the sofa, where they sat close to each other.

“Come on, what is it?” he asked her gently.

“I dunno,” she replied, sniffing. “Some days I just feel a bit… lonely, that’s all. I even miss school.”

He held her hand in both of his, stroking her knuckles with his thumb. “It’s a big change for you. Have you been to that baby group in Lewes again? You enjoyed it last time.”

“I tried to go today. I got everything ready and in the car, and then just as we were about to leave, he wanted a feed again. Then I had to change his nappy, and by the time I’d done that, it was too late to go. And that made me upset.” She sighed. “I’m sorry, I’ll get used to it, I know, it’s just sometimes I… well I kind of wish we still lived in Sanditon. I miss being able to walk to the shops and along the seafront.”

“Really? Well, we could always move back there, if you like. It would make it easier for you once you go back to work, wouldn’t it? You could find a local childminder or nursery.”

“But what about you? You’d be further away from your work.”

Sidney shrugged. “I don’t mind. Anyway,” he grinned, “I’ve got my eye on that headship once the new broom’s swept up all the mess Mrs Denham left behind.”

“Really? You’d go back? I thought you were sick of the place.”

“Yes, but… Sanditon’s in my blood somehow. Can’t get away from it.”

“Then you really would be my boss!” Charlotte laughed.

“Yeah, I’ll make you Head of English when Mrs G retires. But seriously, we could look at houses, couldn’t we?”

He took out his phone and began scrolling through a local estate agent’s website. “Somewhere near the seafront, yeah? Oh my god, look at that.” His jaw dropped in surprise and he turned his phone round to show her a rather palatial looking Georgian seafront house.

“A charming, five bedroom period property, located near the seafront and close to all amenities… £750,000! Sidney, there’s no way we can afford that…”

“That was my parents’ old house,” he said quietly, a sad smile on his face. “They’ve really done it up, haven’t they?” He scrolled through the pictures. “Shit, that looks like my old bedroom. Used to be covered in Arsenal posters. Look at it now. Like a show house.”

“Never mind,” she said, squeezing his hand. “Maybe one day…”

There was a pause and Charlotte decided to change the subject. “Honestly,” she said, shaking her head, “how on earth did you get Oliver to go to sleep? I’ve been trying all day.”

She stretched up to remove the towel from her head and began to rub her hair. As she did so, her other towel slipped out of its loose knot and tumbled to her waist, revealing her breasts.

“Hmm, maybe it’s because I don’t have anything he’s interested in, so he just gets bored.” Sidney stopped scrolling and put his phone down, grinning at her cheekily.

“Like what?”

Sidney smiled, his gaze fixed, as he cupped one of her breasts in his hand, gently grazing her nipple with his thumb. Sighing, Charlotte leaned into his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist, as he continued stroking her nipple.

“Hmm,” she murmured, “you do that any longer, you’ll get milk all over you.” She sniffed his shirt. “That’s a strange smell. What’s that?”

“Don’t know what you mean,” he shrugged.

“It’s like air freshener,” she said, wrinkling her nose.

“Maybe it is. Oh look, you’re leaking on my shirt now,” he said, to distract her. Bending his head, he gently tweaked her nipple, causing a spray of milk to shoot up into his face. They both burst into laughter as Sidney wiped his cheek, then dipped his fingers into his mouth.

“Hey, what you doing, you weirdo?” she laughed.

“Just wondered what it tasted like. Not bad. Kind of sweet.” He laughed and kissed her. She returned his kiss, more passionately than she had done for some time.

He pulled away. “I’ll go upstairs and get changed I think.”

Charlotte frowned. “Oh, I haven’t made any dinner, shit. And it’s past eight o’clock. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll get a takeaway or something.” Sidney went upstairs, where he removed the offending shirt. He sniffed it but could only discern a faint scent of what must be Sarah’s overpowering perfume. Charlotte’s hormones must have sharpened her already acute sense of smell. He rolled up the shirt into a ball and tossed it into the laundry basket. He felt like burning it.

Just as he was taking his trousers off, Charlotte came into the bedroom, unwrapped her towel and discarded it on the bed. She seemed quite unaware of her naked body and the effect that it was having on her husband.

“What?” she said, looking up from her underwear drawer, noticing his gaze at last.

“Come here,” he said softly.

She turned to look at him now, standing there in only his underwear. Trailing her hand through the dark hairs on his chest, she looked up at him shyly. It felt like forever since they had been together naked, or nearly naked, in this way. Sidney held her by the shoulders and spun her round so she was facing the mirror. Standing behind her, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed her neck.

“Look at yourself,” he said. “Look how beautiful you are.”

“Yeah, apart from the saggy belly,” she grimaced, pinching the rolls around her waist.

“That’s where you carried our son. It’s beautiful,” he said, kissing her again.

“I look so different though. Like a woman in one of those Renaissance paintings.”

“Exactly,” he replied. “A curvy, juicy, gorgeous woman. I love all this.” His hands wandered over her full breasts, down to her rounded belly, her hips. She laughed as he squeezed her arse tightly while he nibbled on her neck. He craned his head round so that he could kiss her lips. As he did so, his fingers trailed down between her legs and began to explore. Stroking her soft hair, he tentatively touched her with the tip of his finger. She tensed.

“Sidney, I can’t...” she said. She turned around to face him. Wrapping her arms around him, she buried her face in his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“I know, it’s okay, I wasn’t...” He was frustrated with himself. “Charlotte, I really wasn’t... I don’t mind, honestly, I just like being close with you. Really. I miss you. I miss you in the morning when I wake up and you’re not there.”

She could see the emotion in his eyes. “Yes. Look, I know it’s been more than six weeks, but I’m still really sore, and I don’t even think I could do other stuff... I’m just not... I’m not feeling it somehow.”

“It’s okay,” he insisted. “Really. Can we just lie down and kiss for a minute? Is that alright?”

She nodded and they laid on the bed, entwined in each other’s arms, kissing tenderly. Telling her he loved her, he held her as tight as he possibly could.

Eventually, he got up, leaving her resting while he went to get some food, returning with a curry and two bottles of beer. Sitting at the kitchen table in her pyjamas, her wet hair dangling around her shoulders, he opened a beer for her. “Go on, have one, you deserve it.”

“Oliver won’t like this, will he? Curry and beer. You can change his nappy in the morning.” She pulled a face.

“Don’t worry, it’s only once in a while.”

He watched her as she ate, chatting merrily and smiling, although she only drank half the beer and gave the rest to him. “God, I feel pissed already,” she giggled.

Oliver, miraculously, was still asleep, so they carried his crib up to the bedroom and placed it by the bed, then climbed in together and, encircled in each other’s arms and wrapped in each other’s love, fell happily to sleep, for a few hours at least, anyway.

***************************

The next morning, Charlotte came in the bathroom to see Sidney shaving.

“Oh,” she exclaimed, more than a little surprised, “you’re getting rid of your beard?”

“Well, you said you didn’t like it,” he countered, twisting his face to one side and gently dragging the razor down his jawline through the shaving foam.

She wrapped her arms round him from behind, her cheek resting against his back. “I dunno. It was growing on me. Kind of sexy. Rugged.”

God, he thought. I can’t win.

“Charlotte,” he said, his razor hovering in the air, “do you think other women think of me like that?”

“Well of course they do,” she laughed, “George Clooney and all that.”

He stopped, resting his hands on the sink. “Sometimes it pisses me off. The way women look at me. I mean I’m nearly 40 for Christ’s sake.”

She stood back to regard him, surprised. “I don’t think age makes a difference. They say men age better don’t they? Women like the sexy older man whereas women over 40 become invisible. Anyway,” she grinned, “I thought you liked it.”

“Well, I don’t.” He frowned, his jaw tensing. “Listen...um... there’s a teacher at school... how can I put it? She um… pays me a little too much attention. Last night,” he took a deep breath, “I gave her a lift home and I had to be quite rude to get rid of her. The thing is....” He stopped. Charlotte’s lip was trembling and there were tears in her eyes. “Charlotte... please...”

“Why did you give her a lift?” Through her tears, he could see her mind working overtime.

“She put me on the spot... and then... she invited me in for coffee. Of course I said no.”

“Tell me you wouldn’t, please...” Charlotte was shaking now, tears running down her cheeks.

Throwing the razor in the sink, he pulled her to him closely. “Of course I wouldn’t, you know I would never do anything like that. I have you.” He sighed. He should have chosen a better moment; if he mentioned Sarah now, it was going to push her over the edge. “I just wanted to let you know, that’s all. In case anyone says anything.” He stood back, cupping her face in his hands. “You know what it’s like, you caused quite a stir when you first started at Sanditon Head. Edward, Leon, not to mention the students.” He tried to get her to smile.

“Well at least I had you to tell me off about my inappropriate clothing.” She stuck her tongue out.

He laughed. “Except the irony was, I was the one lusting after you the most. Miss Heywood.” He tweaked her nose and then bent down to kiss her.

“Oi! You’re covered in shaving foam,” she protested, through a mixture of bubbles and kisses.

He pulled away, gently brushing the foam off her nose and cheeks. “Why don’t you go into Sanditon today? Have a walk on the seafront, maybe pop into some estate agents? Or go round to see Esther or Clara.”

“Yeah, I might,” she smiled, looking out of the window. “Looks like a nice day.”

She left the bathroom and Sidney continued shaving, annoyed at his half-arsed attempt to explain the situation and in two minds about what to do next. The thing was, the longer he left it, the harder it was going to be to confess the truth.

Charlotte drove into Sanditon later that day. It was a beautifully clear winter day and, as she pushed Oliver in his pram along the seafront, she could feel the warmth of the sun spreading right through her body and lifting her mood. She bumped into a few mums from school who stopped to coo over the baby and ask her how she was. One of them even said how much her daughter was missing her teaching, and Charlotte beamed with pride.

“You will come back won’t you, Ms Heywood?”

“Oh yes, I plan to,” replied Charlotte. “Even if it’s only part-time at first.”

She browsed around the shops, which were full of Christmas decorations and gifts, picking up a few presents for her friends and relatives, and thinking about what she could get Sidney for his 40th birthday in early January. She’d already discussed with Diana and Mary about holding a small party for him. She stopped for lunch at the Lighthouse café, where the owners knew her, settling at a quiet table by the window to feed. At first she’d found feeding in public a little embarrassing, but she was getting used to it now and found that most people’s reactions were positive. If anyone gave her a disapproving look, she did her best to ignore them.

As Oliver suckled away and she rather clumsily attempted to eat a sandwich with her other hand, she pondered on what Sidney had told her this morning. That had certainly come out of nowhere; he’d been late home, a bit jumpy, and then he’d obviously wanted some form of intimacy last night and she’d been unable to respond. The truth was, she just didn’t feel horny. Whether it was the hormones or the broken nights, sex was the last thing on her mind. True, it was still early days and she wasn’t sure how comfortable it would be, but the longer she put it off, the more apprehensive she was going to feel. Perhaps they should just go for it, see how it felt. And yet the switch in her brain, the one that made her feel all tingly when she looked at him, or that made her feel a stirring inside when she saw pictures of good-looking men on the Internet, that switch seemed to be turned off. She trusted Sidney implicitly, of course she did, he’d never so much as looked at another woman since they’d been together, and he was constantly telling her how desirable she was, even with her post-baby belly and her extra cellulite, constantly telling her how much he loved her. But she knew that he still cut a stunning figure, even at nearly 40, especially in a run-of-the-mill secondary school; she’d seen first-hand how some of the mums reacted to him. And now he said one of the teachers was flirting with him; that was unusual, usually colleagues kept their distance if they knew someone was spoken for. She wasn’t all that sure whether she wanted to know any more about this particular woman or not.

She tried contacting Esther and Clara but they were both busy at work, so she left Sanditon in the late afternoon and drove back to Lewes, stopping at the Sainsbury’s on the edge of town on her way. After she had picked up what she needed, Oliver was restless and she felt a little tired, so she had a quick cup of tea in the supermarket café and sat down in the corner to feed her baby. She flicked through one of the free newspapers, reading the latest depressing political news, skimming over the celebrity gossip about who had married who, who was cheating on who, who’d had a baby, or might have had a baby, or might be pregnant, or might have lost their baby, and did it really matter, since was it any of her business after all as she didn’t actually know these people, only their names or their characters in the TV shows they were in, which clearly were totally different from their real life personalities, and yet so many people seemed to conflate the two and think they owned a little part of these people somehow, which was nonsensical when you thought about it - when she sensed a pair of eyes on her. Funny how you could sense that.

She looked up and met the eyes of a young woman sitting at a table on the other side of the café. Green eyes. Piercing. The woman smiled at her and Charlotte smiled back hesitantly, then turned back to her newspaper. The next time she looked up, the woman had gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So - this was entirely in my subconscious until I realised it - but there might be a little influence here of me thinking about Theo and Ruth and their new baby and well, can't we just leave them alone?  
> (Although another part of me thinks why don't they just do a Hello magazine photo shoot instead of posting cryptic photos on Instagram - I'm not on Instagram but those photos travel fast!)  
> On the other hand I'm just as guilty of "thirsting" after Theo as anyone else, beard or not! :)
> 
> Oh yes - and I haven't included many songs in this story, but "All Woman" by Lisa Stansfield comes to mind for this chapter :)  
> 


	13. Back in the saddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure about this one but here it is anyway!  
> It's the staff Christmas do - oh no, Sidney doesn't have a good track record with these...  
> The title is kind of self explanatory - and it's not referring to cycling. :)

The next couple of weeks went by in a whirl. The end of the winter term was always packed full of events: the Christmas fayre, the Christmas concert, the Carol service, a theatrical production, football matches. Sidney was often delayed after school, but Charlotte took the opportunity to go to Sanditon Head and show her face at some of her own school’s events. Everyone was delighted to see her and Oliver and she appreciated the attention and the feeling of being back where she belonged. She also went to a few baby groups in Lewes and met some other new mums. They were friendly enough and one or two of them invited her round for a coffee, which was fun, but somehow she sensed she wasn’t cut out to do this full-time.

Sidney, meanwhile, was becoming increasingly stressed and couldn’t wait for the Christmas holidays and the chance to be alone with Charlotte and Oliver again. He’d avoided Sarah like the plague since the parents’ evening and was beginning to think that perhaps she was finally getting the message. Charlotte seemed to be in a slightly better mood these days; she was making the effort to get out and about and she was becoming more affectionate. One Friday morning he was spooning her in bed, inhaling the warm, milky scent of her skin. Oliver was on the other side of his mum, sucking away noisily, all three of them lying close, Charlotte at the centre, Sidney edging away slightly, trying to keep his morning erection well away from her. She would probably have laughed, but he didn’t want her to think he was impatient; he wanted to wait until she was ready. He kissed the back of her neck tenderly.

“Hey, I’m in a Parker sandwich here,” she laughed, “can’t get rid of you two.”

“That’s because we both love you,” he whispered into her hair.

“You soppy thing,” she said. “You’ve got the staff Christmas do tonight, haven’t you?”

Sidney groaned. “Oh god, yes.”

“Don’t you want to go? You enjoyed it last year.”

He paused. “Not especially. Isn’t it the Sanditon one tonight as well? Why don’t you go to that and I’ll stay home with Oliver? You can leave me some bottles... go out and enjoy yourself.”

Charlotte turned to him and stroked his cheek. “Aw, that’s really nice of you, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea. We haven’t really tried him with a bottle, have we, he might refuse it. I probably wouldn’t be able to relax, I’d be worrying about him the whole time. And I wouldn’t be able to drink, would I? You go to yours. They’re expecting you, after all.”

He sighed. “Okay. I won’t stay long though. And I won’t have more than one drink.”

Sidney very rarely drank to excess these days, and certainly not at the staff Christmas party. Four years ago, the events of that night had nearly derailed his and Charlotte’s blossoming relationship. He hauled himself out of bed and got ready for work. Before he left, he brought Charlotte a cup of tea and kissed her goodbye.

“I’ll go there straight from work, okay? I’ve got to meet some parents after school, bit of a problem with a girl in Year 8. Some of the other girls have been bullying her.”

Charlotte frowned. “Poor girl. Hope you sort it out.”

Kissing her lovingly, he left.

By the time Sidney got to the staff party at the restaurant in Lewes, it was late and he was tired. The meeting with the parents had been difficult; they were not convinced that the school had done enough to deal with the bullying. Luckily, Sidney’s boss Linda, the headteacher, was in charge of the meeting and took most of the flack. Afterwards, she spoke to him as they walked to their cars.

“You seem tired, Sidney, not your usual self?”

“I’m sorry Linda, I wasn’t much help, was I?”

“New fatherhood getting to you?” She placed a hand on his shoulder. Linda was in her fifties, with three teenagers, well aware of the pressures he might be facing.

He smiled. “It’s great. I love it. But it’s been a pretty eventful few months. Maybe I should just... go home.”

“No,” she protested, “come along to the restaurant. You deserve to relax a bit.”

He gave in. “Okay. I’m starving anyway.”

When he got to the restaurant, however, he felt anything but relaxed. The other teachers seemed to have consumed a lot of alcohol already, it was noisy and raucous and the lights hurt his eyes. He found a seat next to his colleague Jan, another Assistant headteacher. The table adjoining theirs was particularly loud, filled with some of the younger members of staff, who were all merrily knocking back the wine. One of them was Sarah, waving her arms around animatedly and laughing, her eyes slightly glazed. She stood up to go to the toilet, nearly clattering to the floor as she did so, holding on tightly to the shoulder of a male colleague. He noticed she was wearing a very short, tight black dress with a lacy top that revealed her back.

Jan nudged him. “What do you think of her?” she asked, rather quietly.

“Sorry, who?” Sidney turned to face his colleague, fork in hand.

“That new Biology teacher. I don’t know, I think she’s a bit odd...” Jan said, watching her totter off to the Ladies.

“I don’t really have much to do with her,” replied Sidney, turning back to his dinner. “Seems alright from a professional point of view.”

Jan turned to him. “Sidney. She was talking about you. Before you arrived.”

He froze. “About me? What do you mean?”

“Apparently, you two knew each other at Sanditon, a few years ago. And according to her, you knew each other rather well. Is it true?”

 _Fuck._ He swallowed, putting down his fork and taking a sip of water. “I did know her at Sanditon, yes, that’s no secret. Over five years ago. But she was only there for a maternity cover. I had no idea she would turn up here.”

Jan’s eyes were wide. “This was before Charlotte, I presume?”

“God yes. What do you take me for? Jan, what the hell was she saying?”

Jan drew a little nearer to him. “She just made it plain that she had known you... rather well. I didn’t catch it all, but something about ‘after-school activities’. You have told Linda about your past connection, I presume?” She registered his expression. “Oh Christ, Sidney, you haven’t? What about Charlotte? Sorry, none of my business I know, but isn’t it a bit odd? That she turned up at your school again? I’m not sure I’d trust her.”

“Look,” said Sidney, straightening his hands out on the table, “it was a long time ago and it was... a very brief affair. Very brief. And yes, Charlotte knows all about it. If you think I should tell Linda, then I will. But when we recognised each other, Sarah assured me that it was a coincidence and she wasn’t going to bring up the past. I’ve been pretty busy these last few months, as you know. She hasn’t really figured on my radar, to be honest.”

“Well, it’s your call Sidney, but be careful,” said Jan rather curtly, and continued eating her pasta.

Sidney cursed inwardly. At that moment, Sarah was making her way back to her table. Catching his eye, she flashed him a seductive smile. He put down his knife and fork. He’d had enough of this. “I’m just going outside to get some air,” he said quietly to Jan.

There was a balcony at the side of the restaurant where a couple of teachers had retired for a smoke in between courses. Sidney recognised Matt and Steve from the Maths department. “You couldn’t give me a cig, could you?” he asked breezily.

Matt laughed. “You don’t smoke, do you Sid?”

“I do tonight.”

Laughing, Matt handed him a cigarette and lit it for him. Sidney gratefully inhaled as the acrid fumes hit the back of his throat. Jesus, it was disgusting, but he liked it. It was probably about ten years since he’d last had a cigarette. He’d smoked on and off in his youth, and then quite steadily through the breakdown of his first marriage to Eliza, but had knocked it on the head after leaving her and leaving London. Matt and Steve returned inside and Sidney stood on his own, leaning against the rail of the balcony, looking out at the rooftops of the small market town. Crazily, he was rather enjoying this cigarette. Though he really should make it his last for at least another ten years. Suddenly, he felt an icy cold hand on his arm.

“Since when you have smoked, Sidney?” A pair of green eyes, the pupils slightly dilated, flashed at him through the gloom. A harsh overhead light illuminated the lacy, shiny material of her tight black dress. He turned to her, eyes narrowing, exhaling smoke almost directly into her face. She didn’t flinch.

“Since you started telling people about us, that’s when,” he replied curtly, taking another drag on his cigarette.

To his dismay, she moved even closer, stroking his arm. “So, there is an ‘us’ then?” she asked softly, looking up at him.

He pulled his arm away violently. “Sarah. For fuck's sake. There is no ‘us’. Just a pathetic little incident over five years ago. You promised me you’d steer clear, that you’d stay professional. Just what have you been telling people?”

Her eyes narrowed as her hand gripped the railing. He could hear the sound of her long nails tapping against the metallic surface. “Not that much. Actually. But I could, couldn’t I? I could tell them about the time I sucked your cock under your desk, couldn’t I? Or the time you ate me out on the floor of your office? Or how you couldn’t wait to get me inside your house every night so you could fuck me senseless? I could tell them a lot, now I come to think about it.”

There was a glacial pause as Sidney processed her words.

“Sarah, are you threatening me? What exactly are you trying to do to me? We ended it.”

“No, Sidney. You ended it. You broke my heart.”

He regarded her face intently as he exhaled the smoke, this time slightly above the top of her head. He couldn’t tell whether she was deeply angry or deeply upset; her eyes were boring into him, flashing darkly. He wondered, not for the first time, if she was a little unstable and decided to take a more conciliatory tone.

“Well, I’m sorry. Honestly. But these things happen. It was a long time ago, Sarah. We’ve both moved on, haven’t we? You said you had. And I certainly have. I’m married, Sarah. I have a wife and a child. I love my wife and I’m never, ever going to leave her.”

He could have sworn that Sarah’s face nearly crumpled, but she held it together. “She must be very special, your wife,” she hissed.

“Yes,” he said slowly, “she is.”

Sarah looked down, wringing her hands, then up at him again, meekly now. “Just be nice to me, Sidney. Don’t ignore me. Don’t piss me off.”

“Okay, I won’t.” He shrugged, stubbing out his cigarette in the ashtray. “Fine. Whatever.”

He left her standing alone on the balcony and went to the Gents for a piss. One of the other teachers was just finishing up and he could have sworn his colleague gave him an odd look, but maybe it was his imagination. After emptying his bladder, he washed his hands thoroughly, splashed water on his face and rinsed his mouth out. He was going home right that minute and he knew Charlotte would be able to smell the smoke on him. But that was the least of his worries.

All was quiet outside the cottage. Very quiet. The night was cold and clear; as Sidney got out of the car, he could see the ghostly outline of the Downs looming in the distance and a myriad of stars shining brightly overhead. But there were no lights on in the house and no sound as he approached the back door. His skin twitched with concern. Usually Charlotte was bustling around in the kitchen, feeding Oliver or trying to calm him. Where on earth was she? For a split second, an icy fear gripped his entrails. Then he opened the door of the living room and smiled with love and relief. For there, sitting curled up on the sofa in a blanket, in the half-light, was his beautiful wife, all alone, staring avidly at the TV, a tub of ice cream and a spoon in her hand. She looked up to see Sidney, but just as he was about to speak, she waved him away impatiently.

“Sssh, just getting to a crucial bit. Ah, yes.... oh that’s so lovely.” Amused, he came and sat on the sofa beside her. “Don’t you just love him?” she sighed adoringly.

“Who?” asked Sidney.

“Colin, of course,” she replied, pointing at the screen.

“Oh right,” he said, “Mr Darcy.”

“Well,” she said, “I never got to finish it when I was in labour, did I?” She hit the pause button. “Oh my god look,” she exclaimed, staring into the bottom of the ice cream tub, “I’ve eaten nearly the whole lot. And a big bag of peanuts.” She pointed to the table. “That’s not going to help me lose weight, is it?”

Sidney laughed and kissed her forehead. “You don’t need to worry about that.” God, it felt good to be home. “Where’s Oliver? Have you lost him?”

Charlotte smiled. “He’s been asleep for two hours. Can you believe it? Two whole hours. So I thought I’d indulge in a bit of Jane Austen while you were out. And quite a lot of food. Ah well. But why are you back so early? I haven’t even got to Lydia’s elopement yet.”

“I’d had enough,” he said, “more than enough. Got a headache actually. I’ll go and find some tablets. You carry on with Colin. Don’t mind me.” He kissed her lips this time, and Charlotte wrinkled her nose.

“Have you been smoking, Sidney?”

He grinned. “I knew you’d smell it. Nose like a hound, you have.”

“But why? You never smoke!” She was genuinely shocked.

“Oh, somebody gave me one at the restaurant. I’ve had a shit day, to be honest. I didn’t drink anything though, well barely half a glass of wine. Are you disgusted with me?” he pleaded, looking sheepish.

“No,” she frowned, “I don’t care. Just a bit surprised, that’s all.”

He left the room to go in search of some painkillers and a large glass of water, then returned. “Can I sit and watch it with you? Please?” He knew she often liked to watch her ‘soppy dramas’ by herself, but he had a desperate need to be with her and bathe himself in her sweet, happy presence, wash away all the tarnish of the day, all the memory of that disturbing encounter with Sarah. He promised himself he would tell Charlotte all about it very soon, but for now he just wanted to curl up with her and forget about everything. He certainly didn’t want to disrupt her happiness, or Mr Darcy’s.

He stretched out on the sofa and laid his head in her lap, closing his eyes, while she gently stroked his hair. After about fifteen minutes, however, when Sidney was almost drifting off to sleep, she picked up the remote and switched off the TV. He blinked. “It’s not finished yet, is it?” he asked blearily, coming back to life.

Charlotte hesitated. She had been thinking about this for some days and, with Oliver contentedly asleep in his cot upstairs for once, she felt like it was now or never.

“What’s up?” Sidney asked, sitting up. “What about Mr Darcy?”

Charlotte smiled. “I’ve seen it hundreds of times. Who needs Mr Darcy when they’ve got Mr Parker?”

She leaned forward and kissed him, her hands clasping the back of his head. It was a sweet kiss. She didn’t even mind the taste of the tobacco and the slight hint of red wine; somehow it made him edgier, more exciting. They weren’t tucked up in bed, mouths freshly minted with toothpaste, they were on the sofa – the sofa! – fully dressed, unwashed, teeth uncleaned. Was this as exciting as it got once you were married with children? That thought made her laugh, as did the remembrance of their early days, when they would have sex in every corner of Sidney’s house, in every possible position, clothes on or off. They’d tried it in the car once or twice which was a bit cramped, but she had a particularly fond memory of a deserted beach in Dorset where he’d gently slipped himself inside her as she’d laid with her back to him on the pebbles. The odd farmer’s field at night, lurching home from the pub, even under the cliffs in Sanditon once, although that had been distinctly uncomfortable, up against the rocks with the tide threatening to come in and cut them off.

She was over-thinking things. “I’m no good at this,” she sighed, pulling away.

“No good at what?” He was genuinely perplexed. “What are you talking about?”

“I want to seduce you and I don’t know how to anymore.” She looked sad.

Sidney lifted her chin. “You don’t have to seduce me,” he whispered.

“But I don’t feel... sexy. I mean, I’m wearing pyjamas, for Christ’s sake.”

He smiled. “Then let’s take them off.” He lifted up her top, gazing into her eyes the whole time, but then his eyes swiftly dropped to her functional maternity bra with its built-in pads. “Let’s take that off too,” he said softly. He reached round and undid the clasp, ever so gently tugging down the straps to reveal her swollen breasts.

“They’re a bit full,” she frowned. Making no reply, he bent his head and kissed the space between them. She sighed with pleasure, caressing the nape of his neck.

Leaning back against the sofa, he gently placed his hands round her waist and lifted her up so she was straddling his lap. “That’s better,” he smiled. Their mouths collided and their tongues entwined. Her knees dug into the sofa cushions as she ground her hips against him. In her haste, she fumbled inexpertly with the buttons on his shirt, which he swiftly pulled up over his head. At last they were skin to skin. Sidney sighed with pleasure as he felt her ripe breasts pushing against him. His hands reached down the back of her sleep shorts, stroking her bare bottom. Gently, the tip of his finger trailed between her legs. She gasped, raising her hips up so he could tug down her shorts. At the same time, she unbuckled his trousers to set him free. His cock almost instantly sprang out, the tip of it poking above his briefs, and in her excitement, she leaned down and kissed it. He let out a groan, but then stopped her.

“Let me touch you, please.” As she knelt up, he rubbed her gently with his fingers then, sliding down the sofa, expertly settled his face beneath her, pulling her down towards him. Charlotte clutched onto the top of the sofa with the tips of her fingers as he flicked and licked, burying his tongue deep inside her. God, she had forgotten how good that felt. Gaining in boldness, she spun herself round to rock back and forth on his face, leaning forward and taking him deep inside her mouth. The warmth and hardness of his skin quivering against her throat was a familiar yet always astonishing sensation and it was hard to stop, but she was also desperate to feel him inside her, so she sat up and turned to face him.

“Please,” was all she said. Instantly understanding her cue, he gently laid her down on the sofa, gazing into her eyes and kissing her tenderly. “You sure?” he whispered. She nodded, parting her legs, as the tip of his cock nudged gently inside her. Sidney let out a deep sigh of intense pleasure. Charlotte was biting her lip. “Is it okay?” he asked, concerned.

“Yes. Kiss me.” Slowly, he edged his way inside her, kissing her all the while and gradually, she relaxed. There was no pain, but somehow it felt different; her body was not responding in quite the same way, but he was filling her with his love and his presence and that was enough. Wrapping her arms tightly around his back, she traced her fingers over his firm shoulder blades, pulling his pert arse towards her until he could not hold back any longer and emptied himself inside her, roaring softly yet urgently into her ear. He lay still, enveloped in her loving warmth.

Leaning up on one elbow, he looked down at her, a faint smile around his lips. “Was it okay? Really?”

She nodded. “Yes. It felt different, but... it’s good to have you back.”

He laughed and kissed her. Just as he did so, the faint sound of crying could be heard from upstairs. “Oh well,” he said, “Good timing for once.”

Sidney followed Charlotte upstairs to the bedroom, where she sat on the bed, feeding Oliver, propped up by pillows, as he laid down beside her, wrapping his arms around her thighs and resting his head against her. By the time Oliver had finished his feed, she had two male Parkers dozing and snoring against her. She stroked the hair of one and took the other back to his cot, for once managing to place him down without him waking. Then she climbed back in bed next to her husband and fell straight to sleep, a contented smile on her face.


	14. Idyll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got so long I've ended up splitting it in two.  
> Sorry this story's gone a bit dark - I can't seem to keep things light and fluffy :) (well, it's been a strange year!)  
> Hopefully none of us will ever experience a stalking ex, but in any long-term relationship, there will always be things sent to try us... it's not going too dark though, don't worry! Things will work out.  
> Feedback and comments welcome - I know I don't always get it right! Thanks for reading xx

Early the next morning, Sidney awoke to find Charlotte sitting on the bed, smiling at him.

“I brought you a cup of coffee,” she said brightly. “It’s a lovely day, you should go for a bike ride.”

“Would you mind if I did? Just a quick one. You’re very chirpy this morning,” he smiled, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

“Mmm, why do you think that is, Mr Parker?” She leaned down to kiss him.

Sidney had a sudden thought. “Charlotte, we didn’t use anything, did we? Does it matter?”

“Oh don’t worry.” She looked slightly embarrassed. “I sorted that out.”

“What do you mean?”

“I got something from the doctor’s. I didn’t want to go back on the pill just yet, and Elinor recommended a cap.” She saw his look of confusion. “It’s a little rubber thing, you put it inside before you have sex, it fits over the cervix. I mean, as I’m breastfeeding we should be okay, but you never know...”

He grinned at her. “So you had it in already? You planned it?”

She blushed. “Well, kind of, I was just testing it out and... I wanted to do it, get it over with... oh no, that sounds awful, I don’t mean it like that...” Hands over her face, she peeped out between her fingers.

“Hey, I understand what you mean. Come here.” He hugged her tightly. “It was lovely. And I’m sure it’ll be even better next time. And the time after...” He began to tickle her round the waist as she giggled and squirmed. “So, you don’t want another baby just yet then, Mrs Parker?” he teased.

“Hmm. Ask me in a year’s time when I’ve forgotten how much it bloody hurt!” she laughed, kissing him.

It was a bright, sunny morning out on the winding Sussex roads. A thousand thoughts ran through Sidney’s mind as he swooped up and down the hills on his bike. Just as he and Charlotte seemed to be reconnecting and becoming more affectionate, this had to happen. Reaching the top of the road at Firle Beacon, he stopped for a drink of water. He took out his phone to ring Brad, but it went straight to voicemail, so he sent a text instead: - _Help. Crisis._

No reply. He made his way home, pedalling as fast as he could, wheeled his bike into the shed and checked his phone again.

\- _What’s up? We’re on our way to my sister’s for Xmas._

_\- Can you talk?_

\- _In the car right now. Esther’s driving. What sort of crisis??_

Shit, thought Sidney. Well, here goes. He sent another text.

_\- Sarah Crawford. She’s back at my school. Okay at first, but now causing trouble._

_\- WTF! What kind of trouble? Calling you? Texting you?_

_\- No, not yet. Unpredictable, flirty, vague threats._

_\- Does Charlotte know?_

_\- Not yet._

_\- Fuck’s sake Sid._

_\- You don’t know what she’s been like since Oliver was born._

_\- You haven’t done anything have you?_

_\- No! I would never._

_\- Esther will personally kill you if you do._

_\- Please don’t tell her yet. I need to talk to Charlotte and my boss._

_\- Yes you do. And keep a record of everything. Is your old neighbour still around?_

_\- Mr Evans? No, he died._

_\- Damn. I guess you didn’t keep her messages from the last time?_

_\- No._

_\- I’ve got to go. Keep me posted. See you at your birthday party? Have a good Xmas._

_\- You too. How’s Esther?_

_\- Great. Wearing me out!_

_\- Well enjoy it while you can. Bye._

Sighing, Sidney locked up the shed and went inside. He poked his head round the bedroom door; Charlotte was singing quietly to Oliver, rocking him to sleep.

“Sssh…” she whispered, finger to her mouth.

“I’ll get in the shower,” he said.

When he emerged from the bathroom, wrapped only in a towel, Oliver was asleep in his cot and Charlotte was lying on the bed, dressed only in a long T-shirt.

“You were a long time. I saw you go into the shed. Were you hiding in there?” she giggled.

“No, I was messaging Brad. They’re off to Norfolk for Christmas.”

“Oh yes. How is he?”

He smiled. “Said Esther was wearing him out. Hopefully they’ll have some luck soon before he expires from exhaustion.”

Charlotte laughed, then stretched her arms out towards him. “You’re not too exhausted are you, after your ride?”

He stood there, gazing at her. She was so beautiful. What had he done to deserve this? Climbing on the bed, he knelt over her.

“Why? Did you have something in mind?”

Without replying, she gently loosened his towel, which slid down his hips. Sidney leaned down and kissed her, eager to taste her soft, plump lips. Her T-shirt and knickers were swiftly discarded as he buried himself in her warm, naked skin, kissing every inch of her body with frantic passion. His lips trailed down between her thighs where he focused fully on her pleasure, making sure she was completely ready for him before he finally let himself go, losing himself inside her, his eyes shut tight, thinking of nothing, nothing except how good it felt and how he never wanted it to end.

He had been lying on top of her for several minutes, breathing heavily in her ear, unable to speak. She was stroking the top of his shoulders and caressing the back of his neck.

Charlotte was experiencing a warm glow inside. Last night’s sex had been nice but a little like going through the motions. However, everything about this encounter felt right, from beginning to end. Loving but incredibly erotic. And she had finally had an orgasm. She kissed him tenderly. “Hey you’re crushing me,” she laughed. 

“Sorry.” He rolled to the side, looking directly into her eyes. Those beautiful, trusting eyes. He stroked her cheek. “You know I love you more than anything, don’t you?”

“More than Oliver?” she asked, smiling.

He corrected himself. “I love you both more than anything.”

It was an idyllic weekend. In between caring for Oliver, they made love twice more: once on Saturday evening and again on Sunday morning, snatching rare moments when Oliver was asleep. Each time it felt better for Charlotte, especially as Sidney made sure he brought her to the peak of her pleasure before he entered her. It was strange, pondered Charlotte, how it made her feel instantly closer to him, in every way. On Sunday they went for a walk on the Downs; Sidney carrying Oliver in a sling and Charlotte holding his hand as they strolled, feeling amazingly free and weightless for once. They stopped at their favourite pub and had a beer, then returned home and Charlotte finished watching _Pride and Prejudice_ as she fed Oliver, while Sidney cooked dinner.

As he basted the roast potatoes and stirred the gravy, he considered what to do about his dilemma. First things first, speak to Linda on Monday. There were only two days left of term, after all, surely Sarah could not wreak much havoc in that time. Hopefully Linda would give him some advice or even take some action; surely Sarah’s behaviour could be classified as harassment, even though he had no physical evidence as such. Secondly, confess everything to Charlotte. This he would do as soon as term ended. Definitely.

On Monday morning at breaktime, Sidney knocked on the door of Linda’s office. He poked his head round the door. “Have you got a minute?”

“Not really, to be honest,” she frowned over her reading glasses. “Okay then, come in.” She waved her hand, slightly irritated.

“God, it’s freezing in here,” said Sidney, noticing the open window.

“Really? I find it a bit stuffy,” she replied. Linda was going through ‘the change’, as she frequently mentioned, and she could be a little grumpy at times, but in general she was a very fair boss and a good colleague. “What can I do for you, Sidney?” she asked, removing her glasses and resting her chin on her hands.

Sidney sat down, toying nervously with a piece of paper on the desk. Exhaling noisily, he decided to cut to the chase. “You are aware that Miss Crawford, the new Biology teacher, worked at Sanditon Head for a few months when I was there? Some years ago now...”

“Yes. I heard that mentioned,” she replied.

“Well,” Sidney swallowed, “we had a brief... relationship, unfortunately. She left the school and I thought that was that.”

Linda raised her eyebrows but she didn’t seem all that surprised. Maybe she had heard the rumours too. She let him continue.

“So you can imagine my surprise when... in fact why wasn’t her name on the staff list? Was she a last-minute appointment?”

“Yes,” she replied, “I believe that the person Don had lined up for the post had to pull out at the last moment, his wife couldn’t get a transfer or something.” Don was the Head of Science. “Miss Crawford must have been the only one available at the last moment. You know how difficult it is to get good Science teachers these days.” There was a pause. “Carry on Sidney,” she said, somewhat impatiently, “Look, I’m not shocked, I’m well aware you must have been out with a few teachers during your career. After all, that’s how you met Charlotte, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but Charlotte is different. Clearly.”

“Clearly. And?”

Sidney cleared his throat and looked directly at his boss. “She’s bothering me, Linda. She’s making life difficult.”

Linda frowned. “In what way?”

Sidney explained briefly how Sarah had found it difficult to accept the end of their relationship five years ago, and how, although she had initially assured him in September that she had moved on and would keep things professional between them, she was now acting unpredictably and talking to other members of staff about him. Naturally, he did not mention Sarah’s threats about disclosing details of the “after-school activities” that had taken place in his office.

“But what has she actually done, Sidney?” asked Linda, a little unsympathetically, he felt. “Apart from ask you for a lift – which you willingly gave her I presume – get a little drunk and talk to you at the party? I mean, that could hardly be classified as harassment, could it?”

Sidney’s jaw tensed. “It’s her attitude, Linda. It’s a little threatening. I’m just not sure what she’s going to do next. She seems to think she can lure me away from my wife, oh I don’t know. You clearly think I’m exaggerating.” Annoyed, he got up to leave.

“Sidney, really. Maybe you’re over-thinking things. You’ve had a difficult few months, you’re obviously not sleeping well. I mean, I know you’re used to... attention, but that doesn’t mean...”

“Okay, I get your point,” he said, heading for the door. “Nothing concrete, not enough evidence, etcetera, etcetera.” He paused. “I wonder if you’d have the same reaction if I was a female teacher.”

“Now that’s unfair, Sidney. What can I do? Why don’t you have a word with her yourself? Tell her to be a bit more discreet?” Linda raised her hands in exasperation.

“Okay.” Sighing, he left the office.

Later that day, he was sitting at his desk, chewing his pen, trying desperately to focus on the files open on his computer and failing. Suddenly his phone pinged. It was a picture from Charlotte. A picture of Oliver. ‘Do you think he’s smiling at me?!’ was her excited caption. Sidney grinned. He was just typing in a reply, when there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” he said, without looking up. It was Sarah.

He was about to say something rather rude to her when he remembered; stay calm, placate her, be reasonable. Perhaps she’ll get bored and go away. But he didn’t invite her to sit down.

“Hello Sarah,” he said, giving her one of his half-smiles and standing up as she entered the room. “What can I do for you?”

“Well...” She studied the carpet, then raised her eyes to meet his, somewhat meekly. “I just wanted to apologise for Friday night. I think I was a little drunk. In fact, I was drunk.” She emitted a shrill laugh. “Sorry. We can still be friends, I hope?” Smiling, she extended her hand towards him.

Sidney kept his hands in his pockets. “Okay. Don’t worry about it.”

Sarah leaned over slightly, glancing at his phone. “Oh, is that your son? How cute...”

Sidney snapped the phone cover shut. “Yes. Sorry, I’ve got to get on. You know how it is, lots to do at the end of term...” he said in a friendly yet neutral tone.

“Any plans for Christmas?” She was now leaning against the desk, her long fingers stretching out on the surface, her hip gently resting against the edge.

“Oh you know, the usual family stuff.” He gave her another of his half-smiles.

“It’s your birthday soon, isn’t it?” she smiled knowingly. “Quite an important one, if I remember rightly.”

“I don’t take much notice of that kind of thing,” he replied nonchalantly, although he was a little unnerved. She remembered everything, it seemed. He turned towards his computer and thankfully, she took this as her cue to leave.

“Have a good Christmas then,” she called as she left his office. He didn’t reply.

The next day, Tuesday, was the last day of term. The Christmas drama production was the last thing on the calendar and Charlotte insisted on attending. He had tried to dissuade her, but she was very keen; it was her subject after all, and she liked to see what other schools were doing. She arrived at school just before the show, surprising Sidney in his office, Oliver in her arms.

“Shall I go along to the staffroom, say hello to everyone?” she beamed. “Not all of them have met Oliver.”

“No, best not,” he said, rather too hastily. They’ll all be busy. Stay here with me while I finish up. I’ll get you a cup of tea.”

She frowned, a little puzzled, but sat down gratefully in the chair opposite him, sipping her tea and giving Oliver a quick feed as Sidney worked.

Not long afterwards, it was time for the show. Sidney had a seat at the front, but Charlotte opted to stay at the back of the hall, as Oliver was a little restless and she didn’t want to disturb the performance. Halfway through the show, he began to grizzle and a few people turned their heads at the noise. Sighing, she left the hall and made her way to the deserted reception area, where there were a few comfy chairs and a table with newspapers spread over it. She had not long fed Oliver however, and she didn’t feel all that comfortable exposing herself here, so she simply paced around, jiggling him up and down and singing to him quietly. He was coming up for three months now and she was sure that he smiled at her sometimes. Or perhaps it was wind.

She was looking out of the large bay window at the cold, grey sky when a woman walked past, presumably on her way to the staff toilets. When she spotted Charlotte and Oliver, she stopped, approaching them with a broad smile on her face.

Charlotte stopped singing. The woman had long, black hair and green eyes that matched the green of her loose silk shirt, tucked into a rather short black skirt, from which a pair of very long, slender legs were emerging. The woman came right up to Charlotte and smiled, although somehow the smile didn’t quite reach her rather piercing eyes.

“Hello,” she trilled. “You must be Sidney’s wife. And this must be Oliver. What a cute little thing...” Her finger lightly touched the baby’s cheek. “So handsome. Just like his dad.” She smiled again. “Charlotte, isn’t it?”

Charlotte regarded her curiously, wondering where she had seen her before. “Yes,” she said quietly. “Um... do I know you?”

“I doubt it,” the woman replied. “I’m a new teacher here. Miss Crawford. Science.” She held out her hand to shake Charlotte’s and, as the two women’s hands met, her nail scraped against Charlotte’s wrist. “Nice to meet you. Charlotte.” Then she left as quickly as she had appeared, heading for the toilets. Oliver began to cry and Charlotte took him outside, heading for her car, where she sat inside and fed him. When she had finished, she sent Sidney a quick text:

_\- Oliver was restless. I’m going home, I’ll start dinner. See you later xx_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was a bit disappointed with Linda - especially as she's supposed to be me (ha ha - though I'm not a teacher).  
> But then I thought it's usually women getting harassed and often male bosses who don't take it seriously, so...
> 
> Though I'm in no way a legal expert, the police are unlikely to press charges for harassment unless there's a sustained pattern of behaviour over a period of time, or a criminal offence is committed. You can make a claim in the civil courts, but the incidents have to be within the last six years.  
> In the previous story, Sidney threatened to contact the police about Sarah's behaviour, but didn't in the end as she got the message and moved away. He was worried about the affair getting out and it affecting his job.


	15. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That was the calm before the storm. This is a bit stormier...

By the time Sidney got home, dinner was nearly on the table.

“Hi,” smiled Charlotte, “sorry I had to leave. Did it go well?”

“Yeah, great,” he nodded, kissing her somewhat distractedly. “Fancy a glass of wine?” he enquired, reaching for a bottle from the rack.

“Why not?” she smiled, “you’re on holiday now. Oliver’s asleep, hopefully for a couple of hours at least.”

Sidney poured them both a large glass and Charlotte dished up the chicken risotto.

“Mmm, that looks great,” he commented, smiling at her. Right, he thought, now’s the time, this is not going to get any easier. At least she was a little calmer these days. But he spoke very little as they ate. Charlotte was chattering away about the play she’d seen at Sanditon Head the previous week; Sidney simply nodded in response.

“You’re very quiet,” she said, putting down her fork.

He leaned back in his chair. “I’m tired. Anyway, you’re doing enough talking for both of us,” he laughed. He poured himself another large glass of wine. “Want one?”

“No more for me thanks,” she shook her head. “What’s up, Sidney?” She could sense something was wrong.

Drumming his fingers on the table, he took another gulp of his drink. “There’s something I need to tell you. You’re not going to like it. And I probably should have told you before.” He looked up. He could already see her bottom lip trembling and that furrowed line on her forehead getting deeper.

“Is it about that teacher? The one who was flirting with you?” Her voice trembled.

He nodded, but she cut in before he could speak. “What does she look like, Sidney?”

“Tall with long dark hair. Why?”

“Green eyes?”

“Yes.”

“I saw her tonight. She came up to me and spoke to me. She knew my name. She said something about Oliver being handsome like his father.” Charlotte’s eyes narrowed. Why wouldn’t he look at her? She stood up, her plate clattering against the table. “Are you having an affair with her?”

“No, no, of course not. I would never…” Sidney reached over towards her but she pushed him away. “Charlotte, please, sit down. _Please_ don’t jump to conclusions. It’s… complicated.”

She continued standing, her hands gripping the edge of the table. “What the hell do you mean, complicated?”

His palms began to sweat. He swallowed. “It’s Sarah.”

There was stunned silence for a moment. “ _Sarah?!”_

He nodded.

“Hang on,” said Charlotte, laughing in utter shock, “you mean _the_ Sarah? From Sanditon? The Biology teacher? The one who wouldn’t leave you alone?”

“Yes.”

“She’s working at your fucking school?” Her voice rose and her eyes widened, incredulous. “Since when?”

“Since September.”

Charlotte immediately rose from the table. All the food and wine she had consumed was swiftly rising up her throat.

“Charlotte, nothing’s happened...” he called. But she was already running up the stairs to the bathroom.

Locking herself inside, she lifted up the toilet seat and just had time to hold her hair back with one hand before she retched into the bowl, sobbing in shock as she struggled to process what he had just told her. Sidney ran upstairs, tried the handle and banged on the door.

“Charlotte, please, open up. What are you doing in there?”

“Go away!” she shouted. “Leave me alone!” She moved back from the bowl, wiping her face with some tissue and attempting to breathe normally.

“Charlotte, come out and talk to me. Please,” he pleaded. But she refused to reply.

There was silence for a few minutes, then Charlotte, still trembling, stood up and looked at herself in the mirror, splashing water on her face several times. She unlocked the door. Sidney was standing outside. Charlotte clenched her fists into tight balls. She had a strong impulse to push him against the wall and pummel him in frustration, but she managed to control herself. Instead, she ran past him into the bedroom and lay down on the bed, face downwards, turning her face away as he came in the room. Sitting beside her, he tried to place a hand on her shoulder, but she pushed him away.

“Charlotte, please...” he said quietly, “I know it’s a shock, but it’s really not what you think...”

“Have you had sex with her?” she asked, with an edge in her voice.

“No. Absolutely not. I have no interest...”

“Have you kissed her?”

“No. I can’t stand the woman. Honestly.”

She turned to face him, angry. “Then why the _fuck_ didn’t you tell me about it before? How the hell can you expect me not to make assumptions if you won’t be bloody honest?”

“Charlotte. I haven’t lied to you. Don’t you trust me, for Christ’s sake?”

“How can I trust you if you don’t tell me the truth?” Her voice rose further.

“I did. I told you there was a teacher flirting with me. I just didn’t say who it was.”

She laughed sarcastically. “Pretty big omission, I’d say. Somebody you’ve already…”

“Nearly six years ago. For God’s sake, Charlotte, you were heavily pregnant, you were about to give birth and since then, you’ve been so up and down, I didn’t want to upset you. That’s why.”

“Oh Jesus,” she shook her head in disbelief, “the old protecting thing again, we’ve heard that one before. Look what happened last time you did that.”

“Yes, but this is different. And, actually, after the initial shock, I spoke to Sarah and she seemed... okay. Normal even. She assured me that it was a pure coincidence and that she’d moved on. She said she had a boyfriend.”

“And you believed her? Or did you just want to believe her?”

“Christ, I don’t know.” He put his head in his hands. “Things were okay until... I guess until November. That time I told you about. And then, at the Christmas party...”

“What?” She sat up, her eyes razor sharp.

“She was drunk and she was telling people stuff about how she knew me before. Not anything specific as far as I know, but enough. I confronted her outside the restaurant and well, to be honest, it felt like she was threatening me. Asking me to be nice to her, otherwise she’d spill the beans.”

Charlotte was shaking. “And were you? Nice to her?”

He looked into her eyes. “No, I wasn’t. I came straight home to see you.”

“But you still didn’t say anything.” She grabbed at his shirt in frustration, then pulled away, sobbing. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me, Sidney?”

He tried to place an arm around her, but she pushed him away again.

“Because I knew you’d react like this,” he replied, raising his voice. “You were so emotional after the birth – look I know that’s entirely normal, and I was patient, wasn’t I? _Wasn’t I?_ I looked after you, I cared for you. I didn’t want to bring this... this shit into our new life together. And then the other night, you were so happy, sitting there watching your film, I couldn’t do it to you. I’m sorry, Charlotte, really I am.”

“Hang on,” she said, with a bitter laugh, “let me get this straight. The first time, when you gave her a lift, you didn’t tell me because I was upset. And the second time you didn’t tell me because I was too happy?” She paused. “Oh, wait a minute, it’s because we had sex all weekend, isn’t it? I get it now. Good god, Sidney.”

He sighed, head in hands. “That had nothing to do with it. Please. I’m telling you now, aren’t I?”

Charlotte got up from the bed. “Well, I guess we need to think about what to do. Look, I’m tired. I think I’ll sleep in the other room.”

“Please. Stay with me,” he pleaded, reaching for her hand. “I’d never do anything to hurt you, you know that, don’t you? You’re all I’ve ever wanted, Charlotte.”

“Okay,” she said, a little dispirited, and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. When he had cleaned his teeth, he climbed in beside her. Her back was turned. He reached out to hold her but she wriggled away from him, immediately turning the lamp off and not saying a word.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into her neck.

There was no response. Sidney lay on his back and stared at the ceiling as Charlotte slept beside him.

**************************

The next morning, Sidney awoke with a throbbing headache and a dry mouth. The sun was streaming through the curtains, but Charlotte was nowhere to be seen. She wasn’t in Oliver’s room, although Oliver was sleeping peacefully in his cot. Sidney rushed downstairs. She wasn’t in the kitchen or the living room. He was beginning to panic when he saw a note on the table.

 _‘Gone for a walk. Back later.’_ He sighed with relief.

Two hours later, the back door clicked open and Charlotte came inside, face flushed with the cold, muffled up in a thick coat. She bent down to untie her walking boots. Sidney was pacing around the kitchen, attempting to soothe Oliver, who had been crying for some time. Thank god she was back. She took off her coat and hung it up, then walked over to Sidney, holding out her arms for her baby. He passed their son to her, but she still didn’t say a word. She sat down at the kitchen table and, as if she was on autopilot, lifted up her jumper, unhooked her bra and allowed Oliver to gratefully latch his mouth around her nipple. A sudden calm reigned over the house.

“Would you like a cup of tea?” asked Sidney tentatively. She nodded. “Thanks.”

“Where did you go?”

“Oh, just up on the Downs.” She looked away from him, out of the window. There was a long, awkward pause as he made the tea and placed the mug in front of her. He sat down at the table next to her.

After a while, she spoke. “I’ve been thinking.” She took a sip of tea and looked across at him. “I trust you, Sidney. And I believe you. Yes, you should have told me. But I kind of understand why you didn’t.”

Sidney didn’t reply, but he kept his eyes trained on her, awaiting his fate.

“You’re probably right,” she continued. “It might have sent me over the edge. It’s been hard for me to control my emotions and lack of sleep doesn’t exactly help. The thing is,” she sighed, “you have this tendency to take everything on your shoulders. And you really mustn’t, you know. It’s brave of you but… surely we’re better facing things together. Whatever happens. Don’t you agree?”

She gave him a small, rueful smile and he smiled back. “Yes. Thank you, Charlotte.” He reached his hand across to hers and she let him take it. He was grateful for the small physical contact.

“Can I say something though?” he asked quietly. “Without you biting my head off?”

“Go on,” she smiled. “I’ll try not to.”

He swallowed. “Sometimes it just feels a bit like… well, everything seems to be about _your_ feelings. Especially since Oliver was born. I know it’s been difficult for you, but I do have needs too, you know.”

Charlotte pondered. “Okay, but I’m not a mindreader, Sidney. You can’t expect me to know what you're feeling if you don't tell me what’s going on. We have to be honest, even if it's bad, otherwise we’ll end up like… oh no, sorry.” She blushed, biting her lip.

He looked up. “You were going to say Tom and Mary weren’t you?” he asked with a wry smile.

“Maybe.” She laughed, embarrassed. “Though any marriage can go through difficult times. I’m sure my mum and dad have had plenty of bad moments. But we have to keep talking. And listening. And I’m sorry if I’ve been a bit self-absorbed.”

“You have nothing to apologise for, darling.” Sidney came over and stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and kissing her on the cheek. “I’m the one at fault. But we’ll deal with this together.”

“Okay.” She kissed him back, then he went to pour some more tea. "You need to speak to Linda," she said firmly.

"I have." He turned round, leaning against the counter. “Yes, but she wasn't terribly helpful.” He explained about his meeting with his boss. “She seemed to imply that it was a problem of my own making and I needed to deal with it. Apparently Sarah hasn’t done anything that bad… yet… in fact she even came and apologised to me on Monday. Said she was drunk.”

Charlotte frowned. “Very odd.”

Sidney ran his hands through his hair. “I’m a bit freaked out to be honest. I don’t know how to deal with this. I can’t quite understand what’s going through her mind or what she’s going to do next.”

“Well, you need to keep a record of things in case she starts again. Thank god it’s the holidays now. Maybe she’ll get the message and back off.”

“Yes, let’s hope so,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to anything to spoil Oliver’s first Christmas.”

“No. Neither do I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, you just have to trust people. And forgive them. What else can you do?


	16. The birthday party

Following Sidney’s revelations, both Sidney and Charlotte were, understandably, a little subdued for a while. They spent many hours talking it over, trying to analyse Sarah’s behaviour, and discussing the advice Brad had given to Sidney. Sarah seemed to be aware that there were certain boundaries she couldn’t overstep, and yet her behaviour was unpredictable, especially when she’d been drinking. It was almost as if she was playing a game of cat and mouse, waiting for Sidney to fall into the trap. Was she trying to punish him for what he’d done before, or was she really deluded enough to think he would come back to her? Or was it a bit of both? They needed hard evidence against her, and yet Sidney certainly didn’t want to do anything to encourage her. Despite their troubles, he was relieved that Charlotte now knew the truth and even more relieved that she believed him and trusted him. He was glad to have time with her over the holidays to talk and share his worries and feelings, and he loved just hanging out with her and Oliver.

As they talked, they became more and more affectionate and, to their mutual delight, continued to express their love for each other physically, although making love was nowhere near as spontaneous as it used to be and usually required some forward planning. It was a little like making an appointment sometimes, but Sidney didn’t really care one way or the other. When he was curled up in Charlotte’s arms, burying himself inside her, he felt far, far away from the stresses of work and the unnerving presence of his former lover. He had been particularly disappointed by Linda’s reaction to his story, but in some ways not that surprised. He was an attractive man and he had to deal with it, that seemed to be her attitude. He only wished he had been a little more careful in his younger years about where he chose to sow his wild oats, which were now sprouting with a vengeance.

They both made a tacit agreement to put their worries behind them for a while and try and enjoy their holiday together. Fortunately, they had plenty to do preparing for Christmas, which was a joyful affair in the Parker household. On Christmas morning, the three of them cuddled in bed together and exchanged presents. Charlotte had bought Oliver far too many little toys, which of course he was not the slightest bit interested in, although he was inordinately fascinated by the patterns on the wrapping paper, which he could just about grab with his hands, burbling at the sound it made. Charlotte and Sidney only exchanged small gifts as they had made an agreement not to spend too much this Christmas; it would be a tricky year as Charlotte would not be on full pay the whole time. Charlotte, however, had some surprises in store for Sidney’s 40th birthday. She knew she had gone a little mad, but he had been very patient with her over the last few months.

They went over to Diana and Susan’s for Christmas lunch, where the whole Parker clan were gathered. It was a noisy, chaotic affair, with Diana and Susan’s two-year old daughter Ava toddling around, Henry being his usual boisterous self and Oliver being passed around between the clucking hens and getting rather grizzly in the process. Mary’s eldest girls, Jenny and Alicia, were delighted to see their young cousin too, although swiftly lost interest and spent most of the afternoon gazing at their phones. Mary’s partner Colin was there, as was Tom, although his new partner Rebecca was spending the day with her own children and he would be joining her later. Sidney was pleased to see Tom looking so well and settled; Arthur too was in fine form. Who would have thought a few years ago that the fortunes of the family would have turned out so happily? True, none of them were particularly affluent and the old Parker wealth, the seafront businesses and that beautiful old Georgian house in Sanditon were lost to them forever, but Sidney considered that, all in all, he had not seen his family looking so happy at any time over the last ten years. Especially himself.

After a few pleasant days in Willingden, visiting and being visited by the whole of the Heywood clan - a blur of aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, most of whom Sidney could still not tell apart – they returned to Sussex and spent a quiet New Year’s Eve in front of the TV together. How life had changed.

“Christ,” laughed Sidney, “look at us, we’re both yawning and it’s only just past 11 o’clock. Shall we go to bed?” Oliver was a little more regular in his bedtimes recently and they had put him down about an hour before.

“Okay,” Charlotte agreed, holding up the bottle of sparkling wine they had started earlier. “Shall we take this with us?”

“If you like.” He took the bottle and two glasses upstairs while Charlotte slipped into the bathroom. He had an idea what that meant. He lay in bed naked, sipping on his wine, but put it down immediately when she came in the room dressed only in a rather small, lacy red thong and matching camisole top.

“When did you get that?” he grinned.

“I ordered it on the Internet. Do you like it?” she asked, twirling round to reveal the back, bending over slightly and smiling cheekily.

“I most certainly fucking do,” he laughed.

“I wanted to make an effort,” she said a little nervously.

“Charlotte. You don’t need to make an effort for me. Come here. Now,” he growled, beckoning her towards him.

Charlotte crawled up towards him on all fours, her hair falling wildly around her face, pulling down the covers as she did so to reveal his already enthusiastic response. Suddenly, their earlier tiredness was forgotten and they spent the next hour or so exploring each other’s bodies with passion. As Sidney delivered his final, urgent thrusts inside her (the underwear long since discarded), they heard the distant bongs of the bell on the town hall a couple of miles away, indicating that the New Year was upon them. Charlotte suppressed a giggle.

************************

New Year’s Day was spent at home quietly. The weather had turned cold and rainy and Charlotte had some last-minute preparations to make for Sidney’s party the next afternoon. All the Parkers and a few of their friends were invited; Sidney didn’t want a huge crowd, only his favourite people. On the morning of 2 January, Charlotte brought him breakfast in bed and gave him a few small presents, plus an envelope. She held her breath as he opened it. Sidney’s eyes opened in wide surprise.

“No, you didn’t!” he exclaimed. She had booked him on a weekend in Paris in July to watch the final stage of the Tour de France, including trips, hotel and so on.

“I’m sorry you have to wait till July,” she smiled, “your fault for having a birthday in January.”

“It’s bloody brilliant, I’ve always wanted to go,” he exclaimed, giving her a big hug and a kiss. He was as excited as a little boy.

“It’s for two people, so maybe you can go with Brad or one of your other mates...” 

“Oh no, you’re coming with me,” he protested. “Paris. We have to go to Paris together.”

“But I can’t stand watching those boring races,” she rolled her eyes, “and what about Oliver?”

“Well, maybe he’ll be old enough to stay with someone by then. Or we can bring him. We can think about that nearer the time. Come here.” He kissed her. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He pulled her towards him, deepening his kiss. “No, no, I have stuff to do, leave me alone,” she laughed.

He pulled a face. “Go on, please.”

“No, I have to see to Oliver. Later, okay? Birthday blowjob?” she winked.

“Is that a promise?” he called, but she was gone.

The party was fun. Sidney was showered in gifts and was the butt of everyone’s jokes. Brad and Esther were there of course, and even Frank had dragged himself down from London and his New Year’s hangover, most surprisingly with a woman in tow: Clarissa, the divorcee he had met at Brad and Esther’s wedding in the summer. Sidney was surprised and pleased; firstly, that Frank had maintained a relationship for longer than a few months, and secondly that he was with a woman his own age. Clarissa was clearly a very intelligent, confident woman, not the sort to put up with any bullshit.

Sidney shook her hand gracefully. “It’s lovely to see you, Clarissa, and great to see Frank um... looking so happy. You must be a good influence on him.”

Well, he has his moments,” she rolled her eyes, “but he’s a lot of fun. Kind of what I needed in my life, a bit of fun. I have a stressful job, two children, annoying ex-husband, and sometimes you just need to let your hair down, don’t you? Especially at our time of life.”

“Well,” grinned Sidney, “I think perhaps I was a late starter. I’ve only just had my first child, so I haven’t technically got to the midlife crisis bit yet...” He paused. “Clarissa, I’m ever so sorry, I’ve been trying to place you, but I really can’t remember you at school...”

Clarissa smiled. “My family only moved to Sanditon when I was 16 and we didn’t do the same subjects, it’s true. I remember you though Sidney. Quite clearly. But I was a bit of a swot back then. Not your type at all.”

Sidney coloured. “Well, I’m sorry. I was a bit of a prick back then. Nothing wrong with swots. Look at you now, working at the Houses of Parliament. I bet you can tell some tales...”

“I most certainly can,” she laughed, “you wouldn’t believe the debauchery that goes on there. Then again, perhaps you would.”

Brad caught Sidney’s eye and the two friends made their way to the kitchen, where they found a quiet corner to chat.

“Well? Any news?” asked Brad, opening another bottle of beer.

“Nope. Nothing’s happened. Thank god. My boss wasn’t that sympathetic though.”

“Speak to her again when you get back to school. Tell her what happened last time. How did Charlotte take it?” Bradley braced himself for the reaction.

“Badly at first,” replied Sidney, staring into his own bottle. “But we’re okay now. We’ve been talking a lot.”

“Well, that’s good. I can’t believe she got a job at your school though. That’s seriously weird.” Bradley shook his head as he sipped his drink.

“I don’t think it was intentional. Could have been a coincidence...”

Bradley regarded his friend with disbelief. “No way. Bet you a hundred quid.”

Sidney slammed his beer down in frustration. “But what can I do? I can’t prove anything. And so far she hasn’t really done anything that could be classified as sustained harassment. At least not in my boss’s eyes.”

“Just keep a record of everything. If she carries on, we’ll go to the police or get a civil restraining order. She won’t get a second chance this time.”

“But Brad, why does she even think I’m interested? I mean, she knows I’m married and I didn’t exactly let her down gently last time.”

“Mmm...” mused Brad, “I don’t know. Lost her grip on reality? Either that or she wants to get her own back. You’d have to ask Esther, she could probably...”

Just then, Charlotte came in the kitchen and Brad rejoined the party, leaving them alone together. Charlotte made her way to the kitchen sink to wash up some more wine glasses; they were running short already. Putting down his beer, Sidney came up behind her and wrapped his arms round her waist.

“I do like this dress, Mrs Parker,” he whispered into her neck, placing small kisses behind her ear. Charlotte was wearing a glittery black sweater dress that hugged her curves in all the right places, teamed with long, black heeled boots. She had paid extra attention to her hair and make-up that day and Sidney, dressed casually in jeans and his favourite black turtleneck, suddenly felt incredibly turned on as he moulded his body against hers. Slipping the tip of his tongue inside her ear, he licked gently. Charlotte, rooted to the spot and momentarily forgetting all about the wine glasses, could feel the desire rising within her as his hot, wet tongue trailed across her ear lobe, his hands edging up towards her breasts.

“Not very easy to feed in this dress, is it?” he laughed.

“Ah, there’s a secret zip on the side,” she whispered. Sidney found the zip and nudged it down gently, slipping his hand inside and gently caressing her nipple.

“Come on, let’s go upstairs,” he urged her.

“Sidney! Not at your own party,” she laughed, turning round to face him.

He sighed. “You’re right. Give me a kiss then.” Bending down, he gave her a long, deep kiss, a promise of much, much more.

Just then, little Henry’s head appeared around the door. “Sidney, Charlotte, the baby’s crying! Mum told me to come and find you.”

Blushing, Charlotte readjusted her clothing and smiled at Sidney. “Okay, I’m just coming Henry.”

“Later,” she mouthed to her husband, then more loudly, “Can you sort out the glasses please?”

“Okay,” he winked.

Returning to the party, he continued to mingle, chatting with a few select colleagues from his own school and from Sanditon, plus all his extended family. He had indulged in quite a few beers and was standing there happily, gazing over at Charlotte bouncing Oliver up and down on her shoulder as she talked animatedly to Diana and Susan, when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Another birthday message, no doubt, they had been arriving from far-flung friends all day. He was starting to feel a little woozy and sauntered through to the kitchen to get something to eat. Standing by the counter, he took his phone out of his pocket and clicked on the message. An unknown number. He squinted to read it, thinking perhaps he should get his eyes tested after all...

_\- Happy birthday old man. Hope you’re having a good day. S xxx_

Inhaling sharply, he nearly dropped his phone on the kitchen floor. That could only be one person. How the fuck had she got his phone number? Pausing his thumb over the message, he was about to hit delete, then thought better of it. Linda had said he needed evidence. Well then, he would get fucking evidence. Slipping his phone back in his pocket, he filled up a plate with food and opened another beer. Fuck it. Rejoining the party, he chatted amiably with his friends. His phone buzzed a couple more times. He kept drinking. Charlotte looked tired. He slipped off to the loo and took his phone out again. More messages from the same number, but at intervals of 15 minutes or so.

_\- I’ll give you your present when I see you next. xxx_

_\- I know what you like. Xxx_

_\- Number 42, remember. Green door. Xxx_

Sidney swallowed. He wondered if she was drinking. He had an image of her, sitting alone at home, necking back a bottle of wine, waiting for his reply and, when none was forthcoming, typing in another message. Surely she realised she was digging herself into a hole? Maybe she didn’t. More importantly, what would she do next?

Anxiously, he waited for the last of the guests to leave. Most people understood that Sidney and Charlotte hadn’t planned a late party, given that they were new parents, but it still took quite some time to shoo everyone out the door, especially Brad and Frank, who were both rather sozzled and whose respective partners were driving them home.

“Night old man!” shouted Brad as Esther bundled him into the car.

“Your turn next!” retorted Sidney, smiling.

Frank gave him a man hug. “Night, you old bastard.”

Clarissa rolled her eyes. “Hasn’t changed much, has he? Clever guy though,” she said quietly to Charlotte. “Constantly surprising.”

As the last of the guests left, Sidney and Charlotte turned inside. “Good party?” she beamed at him.

“Yeah, great. Thank you.”

She frowned. “You seem tired.”

“I am. Think I had too many beers.”

“Oh well, never mind, it’s your birthday.” She ruffled his hair. “I’m just going to put Oliver down, he’s pretty sleepy.”

“I’ll clear up a bit,” replied Sidney. “Charlotte...” he began.

“Don’t worry about the washing up, we can do that in the morning.” She kissed him.

“I need to talk to you,” was all he could utter.

“Okay, I’ll be down in a minute.” She disappeared upstairs.

Charlotte ran lightly down the stairs a quarter of an hour later, humming happily. She came up behind Sidney and put her arms around his neck, kissing his stubble. He brought his hand up to her arm. “Sit down Charlotte,” he said, staring down at the table.

“What’s going on?” she asked, concerned.

He took his phone out of his pocket. “It’s started. She’s been messaging me. Look.”

Charlotte's face crumpled. “You gave her your phone number?” she asked quietly.

“No, of course I didn’t. But it’s easy enough for her to find out.” He handed her the phone. Charlotte was quiet and thoughtful as she read the messages. She handed it back to him, frowning.

“You need to tell Linda. Tomorrow morning. Call her. And if she won’t do anything, pass the phone to me and I’ll bloody speak to her.”

“I will. You think I should change my phone number?”

“No. Keep the evidence in case she starts again." She paused. "Sidney. Can I just ask you one thing?”

“What?”

“I know you said you haven’t done anything but, well, you took her home that time. Were you... tempted?”

“Tempted? What, by her? God no, you don't know what she was like. She used to bombard me with messages night and day. I used to get home at night and she’d be waiting outside my front door. She used to...” He stopped, noticing the fear etched on her face.

“But why has she come back, after so long? I don’t get it.”

“Neither do I. And it seems as if no one will take me seriously unless...”

“Unless what?”

“Unless she does something really crazy.”

Tears filled Charlotte’s eyes. To hide them, she rose quickly from her chair and went over to the sink. Gripping the sides, she breathed deeply to calm herself, as she looked out at the pitch black winter night. Approaching her, Sidney curved his arms around her tenderly, whispering softly into her ear. “I’m sorry, darling. I'm so sorry.”

She couldn’t stop the tears falling. “Just when I thought things were getting better…”

“It’s okay. We’ll get through this, together. I promise.”

They stood together for a long time, comforting each other with their warmth and their love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I'll update this soon so we can get to the happy stuff! :)


	17. Difficult decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a difficult chapter (again!) but there will soon be a resolution, I promise - I'll wrap this story up this week - and then I'll concentrate on my Antigua story.

The next morning, Sidney phoned his boss and told her about the unsolicited text messages. He made it clear that he expected her to take his harassment claims seriously this time and Linda agreed to talk to Sarah when they returned to school a couple of days later. According to Linda, Sarah was evasive, claiming that Sidney had given her his phone number and that the messages were only supposed to be jokey; she hadn’t meant any harm. She implied that she and Sidney had a friendly relationship; that it was banter. Linda, however, was not impressed with Sarah and gave her a formal warning to leave Sidney alone but, much to his annoyance, there didn’t seem to be much else she could do at this juncture. He made a point of avoiding Sarah and, thankfully, she kept her distance, although he would sometimes catch her eyes resting on him across the crowded staffroom or during assembly.

The weeks that followed were difficult for Sidney and Charlotte, the unresolved situation wearing them both down. Although they didn’t fight or argue, neither did they communicate that much and Charlotte became increasingly subdued. January was cold and grey, as usual, and there were a few mild snowfalls and icy days when she didn’t go out as she was still fearful of driving in bad weather. Oliver’s sleeping and feeding patterns continued to be erratic and the accumulated effect of months of poor sleep was having its toll. Sidney noticed that she was eating less and losing weight. Unfortunately, this made her even more tired and she began to complain of struggling with breastfeeding. She bought some formula milk and tried Oliver on the odd bottle, but he refused to take it, which made her even more upset and frustrated. Sidney felt as if she was withdrawing from him and, although she would let him cuddle her in bed, she was less affectionate than usual and certainly didn’t initiate anything. He never did get that birthday blowjob; in fact, he never got anything even approaching it.

One day, he came home from work relatively early for once. Oliver was lying on his play mat in the living room and Charlotte was sitting on the floor, waving squeaky toys above his head. She was dressed in jogging bottoms, sweatshirt and thick socks, her hair up in a ponytail, her face pale and drawn. She glanced up at Sidney but barely said hello. After taking his coat off, he came to sit on the floor beside her.

“Good day?” he asked gently.

She looked at him blankly. “Not really.”

He reached out his arms to hold her and she allowed herself to fall into his embrace, but her body felt lifeless and she didn’t touch him or hug him back. Softly, he kissed her neck.

“I’m worried about you, darling. You seem so tired.”

“That’s because I am.” She sat up again, wiping her face with her sleeve. “I tried the bottle again but he wouldn’t have it. Sidney...”

“What is it?”

She toyed with the hem of her sweatshirt. “I think I want to go home for a while.”

“Home?”

“To Dorset. To mum and dad’s. I’m sick of being on my own all day. And they can help me with Oliver. So can Elinor.”

“How long do you think you’ll go for?” His voice cracked a little.

“I don’t know. A few weeks?” She looked up.

He stroked her cheek gently with his thumb. “You’re not leaving me, are you?”

To his relief, she gave him a brief smile. “No, I’m not leaving you. But I’m not... I’m not happy. Ever since... you know.”

“Well maybe a change will do you good.” He attempted to stay positive. “I’ll miss you though.”

She smiled again and he pulled her into his chest, stroking her shoulders and kissing the top of her head.

She made preparations to leave the next morning, and was up before Sidney, packing everything that she and Oliver would need. Sidney watched her forlornly as he got ready for work. Then it was time for him to leave. He cuddled his son and gave him a big kiss, then he turned to Charlotte. For once, she was calm, but he was unable to hold back the tears. He held her in such a tight embrace, she thought he would never let her go.

“Hey,” she said, “I’ll be back in a few weeks. Maybe less. Or if I stay till half term, perhaps you can come down?”

“Okay,” he whispered into her hair. “I love you, Charlotte. Don’t forget that.”

She cupped his face in her hands. “I love you too, Sidney.”

“You do?” he smiled through his tears. “I was worried for a minute.”

“I’ll always love you. I just need some time. That was a bit of a bomb you dropped on me in the holidays.”

“I know, I’m sorry. We’ll get through this, I promise.”

He embraced her again tightly and then went out to his car. Charlotte stood at the door, watching him leave. Sidney wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to return to an empty house that evening.

*******************************

The break did them good, in a way. Charlotte was waited on hand and foot by John and Jane Heywood; all she had to do was tend to Oliver’s needs. Her mum regularly took Oliver out in his pram and made sure that Charlotte got plenty of fresh air too. Alison came up to visit and she and Charlotte went out to the pub in the evening while Charlotte’s mum babysat. Charlotte felt so strange, sitting in the pub sipping her cider, with no baby to care for. Her elder sister Elinor came over and gave her plenty of advice about feeding and nutrition and helped her get Oliver used to a bottle, which was a great relief. Although she fully intended to continue breastfeeding for as long as she could, it would be nice to let someone else take over once in a while, and it wouldn’t be long before she could start Oliver on solids. After a week or so, Charlotte was beginning to feel much more relaxed and like her old self. She had been worried that she might be getting postnatal depression, but now she thought that it was probably just a mild dose of the baby blues, coupled with the dreary winter days and, of course, the shock of Sidney’s confession. That was one thing, however, that she didn’t share with any of her family; in fact she hadn’t told anyone about it. Although it was much easier to forget about it in Dorset, it still niggled away at the back of her mind. According to Sidney, Sarah was keeping away from him – but for how long?

Sidney, naturally, was not having quite as relaxed a time as Charlotte, but at least he had very little to do in the evenings now apart from fix himself something to eat and, after the first few nights when he found it difficult to go to bed on his own, at least his sleep was not disrupted. Charlotte had left one of the T-shirts that she liked to wear in bed on her pillow, and Sidney would hold it close to him as he slept, so he could smell her familiar scent. He messaged her frequently throughout the day and was glad to see that her mood seemed to be improving. She sent him a couple of funny, tipsy messages from the pub and one day she even sent him a picture of herself wearing a new bra she had bought. That cheered him up no end.

He took advantage of his freedom to meet up with a couple of friends and enjoy a few evenings at the pub himself. One weekday night he headed off for a pint with Matt and Steve, his fellow Maths teachers, some years younger than him but straightforward, uncomplicated blokes who were always fun to hang out with. He ended up staying at the pub much longer than he intended; Matt and Steve were both single and the three men spent several hours talking almost exclusively about football. A little chat about the state of the country and a moan about work maybe, but then straight back to football again. Certainly nothing about women or relationships. After a couple of pints, Steve indicated he was heading outside for a smoke.

“Can I nab one off you?” asked Sidney.

“Again?” laughed Steve. “You’re making this a habit. It’s not a good one, you know.”

“I’ll stay here and keep the table,” said Matt.

Sidney and Steve stood outside in companionable silence and lit their cigarettes. Again, Sidney felt that familiar, intoxicating rush of harsh chemicals hit the back of his throat.

“What’s up with you, Sid? You seem a bit stressed lately,” commented Steve, glancing at him sidelong.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” lied Sidney. He rarely talked about personal stuff to other men; Brad was the only male friend he felt he could really confide in and even then, they would sometimes skirt around their true emotions.

Steve hesitated. “Can I ask you something? Look, I know it’s none of my fucking business, but is there something going on with you and that Biology teacher? Sarah?”

Sidney nearly spluttered on his smoke as he exhaled. He turned to Steve, narrowing his stare. “No. Why do you ask?”

“It doesn’t matter, honest. As I said, none of my business.”

“Please, Steve. I need to know what she’s been saying.”

“Actually…” Steve looked rather embarrassed. “I um… after the Christmas party we went on to a club and well, we got a bit… close, if you know what I mean. I was all ready to go home with her in fact, it seemed like she wanted me to. But then in the taxi, she changed her mind and,” he shuffled his feet slightly as he took another drag, “basically she implied she was seeing you.”

Sidney stamped out his cigarette butt on the floor; both the tobacco and Steve’s story were making him feel nauseous. “Well it’s not true. I’m married, Steve. Anything between me and Sarah Crawford is strictly in her head.”

“Well, I was surprised too. I mean, Charlotte’s lovely. But when I heard that she’s gone away for a while… Look, I don’t know who else Sarah’s been talking to, that’s all. She’s a bit odd, isn’t she?”

Sidney nodded. “She is. I’d advise you to keep well away from her. Come on, let’s go and have another pint.”

Sidney went up to the bar to get another round, his jaw tensing. He thought back to earlier in the day in the staffroom, when Matt had mentioned that he and Steve were going to the pub after work.

“Can I join you?” Sidney had asked. “Wouldn’t mind a swift one.”

“You’ve been going out a lot lately,” Matt had laughed. “Doesn’t Charlotte mind?”

“Oh no,” Sidney had said carelessly, “she’s down in Dorset at the moment, with her folks.” Then regretted saying that. A little too carelessly, a little too loudly. You never knew who might be listening.

************************

Sidney felt a bit jaded the next day; he had ended up having several pints of beer and had to get a taxi home. He had to cycle in to school the next morning; it was wet and windy and he arrived feeling chilled to the bone. At lunchtime, he had to cycle to the pub, put his bike in the back of the car and drive back to school, so he barely got time to eat.

To make matters worse, there was a GCSE options evening and everyone would be finishing late, as most of the teachers were required to attend. By the time it ended, Sidney was tired, hungry and irritated. It had now been nearly three weeks since Charlotte had gone to Dorset and he was missing her more than ever. He hated coming home to a cold, empty house, eating dinner on his own and climbing into a cold, empty bed at night. It felt like an age since he’d had any kind of physical contact with anyone, and even longer since he’d had sex. He tried not to let that aspect bother him, but deep down, it did. Long before he met Charlotte, he’d dreamed of the perfect romantic set-up, a wife and a child, but it seemed to be one of life’s great ironies that sex resulted in children, and then the very same children, without meaning to obviously, managed to derail your sex life. Not that he would change anything for the world; he loved Oliver to bits, but he missed his fun-loving, sexy wife and the intimate moments they spent together. He really missed Oliver too, and wondered if he would have changed much by the time he saw him again.

As the most senior member of staff on the premises, Sidney stayed until everyone had left the hall and then made his way to his office to get his coat and keys, impatient to get home and get something to eat, have a bath and call Charlotte. Entering his office, he froze in the doorway. Sarah was swivelling round in the chair behind his desk, smiling at him.

“Hi, that was a long evening, wasn’t it?”

“What are you doing here? I thought everyone had left.” Ignoring her gaze, he reached for his car keys on the desk but she snatched them away. “Sarah. Stop playing games. I need to go home.”

“I was wondering if you could give me a lift?” she asked, jangling his keys in front of him. “I walked in this morning, I didn’t think it would rain.”

Bollocks you didn’t, thought Sidney. It had been raining all day. “No, I can’t. Give me the keys please. I’ll call you a taxi if you want.”

“Oh you’re no fun, Sidney. I know your wife’s away at the moment. Isn’t she?” she smiled, still swivelling in the chair.

Of course, she’d made it her business to find out. “That’s right.” His jaw tensed but he didn’t say anything else. He wanted to see what she would do. With any luck, she would land herself in it and give him further ammunition to make a formal complaint. It seemed as if neither he nor Charlotte would be able to move on until Sarah was out of their lives.

“Ooh, you’re nervous,” she tittered, “You’ve got that adorable tic in your jaw just there, you always do that. And your Adam’s apple too.” Standing up, she walked towards him and lightly touched his cheek. “Come on,” she purred, “while the cat’s away and all that... she’ll never know, will she? Look, it’s just a bit of fun, Sidney. And I bet you haven’t seen much action lately, have you?”

He huffed in irritation, stretching out to get the keys from her, but Sarah grabbed his hand with her other hand, leaning back against the edge of the desk as she did so, her skirt riding up. “Come on...” She took his hand and placed it under her skirt, on the sheer fabric encasing her thighs.

Sidney pulled his hand away as if it had been burned. “Sarah, go. Now. Before you do something you regret,” he said quietly.

“Before _I_ do something I regret? What about you?” she laughed. “God, you’re so transparent. I know you want to.” To his shock and dismay, she then placed her own hand directly between his legs. He was fighting against it, but his body was beginning to betray him. “Oh my god, I knew it,” she laughed.

Sidney stepped back angrily, pushing her away. “Sarah, get out now. I’m warning you. I mean it.”

“You don’t mean it, Sidney, you want it. I know you do.” Her tongue flicked over her lips.

“I do mean it. I’m going to the head tomorrow and filing a formal harassment claim.”

Sarah leaned back again, regarding him coldly. “Don’t be ridiculous. No one would believe you. You’re a man. You invited me in here. You put your hand up my skirt.” Much to his horror, she used her nail to snag a ladder in her tights. “Look. You did that.” She then grabbed the top of her blouse and ripped it apart, dislodging a button in the process. “Oh look. You did that too.” She laughed.

“Sarah, you’re...”

“What? What am I?”

“Nothing,” he said quietly. “Just go. Please.” She was doing his head in and he had no idea what to do next. He only knew it was best not to provoke her further.

Luckily, she did as he said. Dropping his keys disdainfully on the floor, she stood up to face him, but as she did, she traced her finger down his jawline.

“Why me, Sarah?” he asked, his voice hoarse. “Why did you come back?”

“Because you were my best,” she replied. “All the others treated me like shit. But I never forgot you.” She brought her lips up to kiss him, but just at that moment, a sound could be heard in the corridor, a whistling and jangling of keys. The caretaker. Sidney swiftly ducked and retrieved his keys from the floor.

“Go,” he ordered sharply. Sarah gathered her things and left, shooting him a look as she did so. Sidney kicked the desk hard in anger.

Not long after, the caretaker poked his head around the door. “You alright, Mr Parker? I’m locking up now.”

“Sure, yes Alan, I’m just going,” Sidney replied, putting his coat on and tucking his briefcase under his arm. He walked the long way round to the car park, quickly jumped in his car and sped off. There was no sign of Sarah. A few streets away, he stopped at a red light. In frustration, he banged the steering wheel with his hands. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he shouted. The people in the car that had drawn up next to him peered over curiously. He glared at them.

When he got home, he found a bottle of red wine in the kitchen and poured himself a large glass. A very large glass. It didn’t really help. He felt physically sick but he forced himself to eat some cheese on toast as he poured a second glass. She had called his bluff, double bluff even, but surely Linda would take his side. He picked up his phone to call Brad and told him the whole story. Brad told him to go straight to his boss and not take no for an answer this time. It was unlikely the police would do anything at this juncture, but there was certainly a civil case for harassment at work.

After talking to Brad, Sidney felt a little better but God, how he missed Charlotte. He needed to talk to her and tell her exactly what had happened. There was no point trying to hide it this time. He called her twice but there was no answer, only a voice mail, and he couldn’t bring himself to leave a message. He cleared up the kitchen and got ready for bed, but she didn’t call back, so he sent her a text:

_\- I miss you so much. Please come home xxxxx_

He climbed in bed with the phone by his side, but no reply came. She must be busy with Oliver, or asleep perhaps. Picking up her T-shirt, he held it close to his face. It was getting increasingly harder to discern her scent, so he summoned her up in his mind, lying there next to him, her hair tickling his nose, her full breasts pressed against him, her warm thighs wrapped around his, trying desperately to block out the image of Sarah sitting on his desk, stroking his cheek, putting her hand between his legs.

********************

Charlotte woke up blearily from her doze. God, it was nearly midnight, she’d been asleep for over two hours. Oliver was in his cot; her mum must have put him there after finding them asleep. Jane wasn’t so keen on the idea of them co-sleeping, it wasn’t done in her day. She dragged herself out of bed and went downstairs to get a glass of water and go to the loo. Climbing back into bed, she saw her phone discarded on the table, winking at her, and read Sidney’s message. It made her smile but also brought tears to her eyes. She was missing him too. There was only another week or so until half term, and she’d thought about staying until then, but now she wasn’t sure. It was Valentines next week, and then her birthday. Maybe she should just go home tomorrow, surprise him, he’d like that. She missed his smile in the mornings, she missed his strong arms around her, and she missed the rest of it too, the feel of his hard, warm body, the smell of his chest, and yes, the feel of him inside her. It had been far too long. She was feeling much better now, physically and mentally, and if he needed her to come home, that’s what she would do. She quickly typed in a response.

_\- I will. Very soon. Miss you too. Love you xxxxx_


	18. Intrusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a bit cruel to leave you in suspense, so here's what happened next...

After feeding Oliver early the next morning, Charlotte went downstairs to see her mum, cradling her son in her arms.

“Oh I haven’t got breakfast ready yet, darling, do you want something now?” asked Jane, still in her dressing gown.

“Yes please, if you can. Mum... I um... I think I’ll go home today. Do you mind?”

Jane was surprised. “That’s very sudden, darling. Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’ve been here long enough, getting in your way. He says he misses us and, well, I miss him too.”

Jane turned to look at her, stirring the teapot. “Is everything okay between you two? You arrived all of a sudden and now you’re leaving all of a sudden. Are you sure there’s nothing going on?”

Charlotte coloured a little. “No, it’s fine mum, we’re adjusting, that’s all. I was finding things difficult, but I feel a lot better now. Thank you.”

Jane placed a hand on her shoulder. “These are the hardest years, you know. If you can get through this, you can get through anything.”

“But you had six children Mum, honestly, how on earth did you manage?”

Jane laughed heartily. “Oh, after two or three, you don’t really notice them any more.”

*****************

Sidney woke up with yet another headache. Enough drinking, he thought, must put a stop to this. His phone was blinking at him from the bedside table and he saw Charlotte’s message; she must have sent it late at night, after he was asleep. Smiling broadly, he was just about to type in a reply, when he saw the other message sitting above it. Sent at 4.30 in the morning.

_\- Last night was just like old times, wasn’t it? See you later ;) S xxx_

For fuck’s sake. What was this woman on? Forgetting all about replying to Charlotte, he leapt out of bed, determined to get into school early and speak to Linda as soon as he could. But when he arrived, Linda wasn’t there. External meetings, said Moira, the secretary, she’ll be back later this afternoon. It would just have to wait.

************************

After breakfast, Charlotte and Oliver headed off. The journey took a while as the traffic was slow and Charlotte had to stop several times to feed and change Oliver. She’d decided to surprise Sidney and with any luck she should get home at about 3pm, so she’d have a couple of hours before he got in from work. As she got nearer to Sussex, she got more and more excited, but also a little apprehensive. She’d been feeling disconnected from him lately and she wasn’t quite sure how to bridge that gap. Sex was the obvious answer, but why did it always come down to sex? To make matters worse, since she’d been giving Oliver bottles, she’d started feeling a bit crampy, as if her period was coming. Great. That was all she needed.

Driving down the lane approaching their cottage, she noticed with some surprise a small red car parked rather badly up in a passing place, up against a hedge. She had to slow down in order to inch past it. That was strange; the lane was a dead end, only used by residents and their visitors, and there was plenty of space to park in front of their row of cottages.

She pulled up on the drive at the front of the cottage and stepped right out into a puddle. The sky was clear now, but it had obviously been raining a lot lately. Looking up at their bedroom window, she noticed the curtains were drawn, but for a split second, she thought she saw them twitch. She shook herself. She must be tired after the drive; her eyes were playing tricks on her. Oliver was sleeping so she gently lifted him out of his car seat and laid him down in the pram. She’d have to go round to the kitchen door at the back as it was difficult to get the pram through the front door. He shifted a little as she moved him, so she gently tucked him in and rocked him, and he settled back to sleep. She got out her keys and put them in the lock but then stopped dead. The door opened immediately; she hadn’t needed to turn the key. Odd. Perhaps Sidney had forgotten to lock it; he did that occasionally and she was always telling him off about it. Once he’d even gone out with her keys in his pocket and she’d not been able to lock the door all day, so she couldn’t go out. The door flung open and she manoeuvred the heavy pram over the threshold, into the kitchen.

What happened next would forever be etched on her memory. Halfway over the threshold, she looked up and nearly screamed. She felt as if her heart stopped beating for an instant, then suddenly it began to pound twice as fast as normal. That woman was sitting in the kitchen. In her kitchen. Calmly sitting on a chair, her legs crossed. The same woman that she had seen in the café and the same woman who had scratched her hand at the Christmas show. Sarah.

That woman, however, was a picture of calmness. “Oh,” she said, “he didn’t tell me you were coming back. Rather spoils things.”

Charlotte was still half in, half out, considering whether to retrace her steps or go forward. “What the hell are you doing here?” Her voice came out in a decidedly high-pitched squeak.

Sarah smiled. “He told me to leave school early. Come home and warm the bed up, so to speak. Looks a bit fishy if we leave together.”

Charlotte narrowed her eyes. _Fuck you_ , she thought. Later, she would not be able to explain why she did what she did but, possibly against her better judgement, she tugged the pram back over the threshold, leaving Oliver just outside the back door, came inside and shut the door behind her. She stood against the kitchen counter, as near to the back door as she could, but facing Sarah. Glancing across, she noticed that she was the one nearest the knife block. _Good_ , she thought, but such thoughts made her shudder with fear. She kept her hands in her coat pockets; thankfully her phone was right there, within her grasp.

“I guess you must be Sarah,” she said, with a calmness that she most certainly did not feel.

“Yes, that’s right. Charlotte,” said Sarah, giving her a very brief and not very friendly smile.

“Look Sarah,” Charlotte continued, trying to stop her voice from trembling, her hand clutching her phone, “I know all about you. In the past and now. He’s told me everything.”

“Well, I doubt that,” Sarah said with another of her unnerving smiles. “I’m guessing he hasn’t told you about last night. Has he?”

“What about last night?” Calm, Charlotte, calm.

Sarah leaned forward. “We had sex,” she whispered triumphantly. “When he gave me a lift home. Again.”

Charlotte swallowed. “You’re lying.”

“I was lying, yes. On the back seat of his car. He was touchingly eager. He barely managed to get his trousers down. Been missing it, I’d say.”

Charlotte could feel the blood pulsing in her neck and throughout her body and her legs felt weak. Stay calm, Charlotte, she thought. He loves you. Images flashed through her mind. Images of Sidney, having rough, urgent sex with this woman, on the back seat of his car. Somehow, she just couldn’t picture it. That wasn’t Sidney. That wasn’t the Sidney she knew. She’d seen the fear in his eyes when he’d talked about Sarah. That wasn’t the Sidney who’d sent her a text last night begging her to come home. Or was it?

“So he gave you a lift home?”

“Yes.” Sarah smiled like the proverbial cat with the cream.

“So why did you have sex in the car? Why didn’t he just go in your house?”

For the first time, Sarah faltered. “We stopped off somewhere.”

“Really? In the middle of Lewes?” Charlotte almost laughed. “Sorry Sarah, but I don’t believe you.” She drew herself up. “I want you to go. Now.”

“I’m not going,” Sarah said, with quiet menace. “I’m waiting for him. Then you’ll see.” All of a sudden, she got up from her chair, moving a step closer to Charlotte. Her voice rose a notch and her eyes were flashing. “He belongs with me, Charlotte.”

Charlotte took a deep breath. The woman was clearly delusional. Think, Charlotte. Her mind turned to Esther, so intuitive and clear-sighted when it came to people. What would Esther do?

Forcing herself to remain calm, she looked directly at Sarah.

“Listen to me. You have two choices.”

Sarah said nothing, raising her eyebrows.

“If you don’t go, I’m calling the police. Do you realise what that means? You broke into my house.” She indicated the back door, hanging off the latch. “You’ll lose your job and you’ll never teach again.” She paused. Sarah hadn’t moved. Outside, a faint cry came from Oliver’s pram. Charlotte continued, with less certainty than before. “Or, you can walk out of here. Leave. I won’t press charges. But you must promise to resign from Sidney’s school and never come near us again. Do you understand?”

“Yes Charlotte, I understand.” Sarah smiled. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re the one who should go. And take your baby with you.” She nodded towards the pram, stepping closer to Charlotte.

Charlotte slowly backed towards the door, taking her phone out of her pocket, keeping her eyes trained on Sarah. Suddenly, the doorbell rang at the front of the house. She froze. So did Sarah. “Don’t answer it,” she ordered.

The two women stood facing each other, like two cats waiting to pounce. Charlotte’s back was pressed right up against the door, her hand on the handle. Oliver’s crying was getting louder and louder, the noise seeping into her brain. A tear rolled down her cheek.

“Sarah,” she said, shaking, “Why are you doing this? What good will it do?”

Sarah leaned forward and was on the point of grabbing Charlotte’s phone when abruptly, she stopped. There was a knock on the back door and a woman’s voice rang out. “Hello? Charlotte? Your baby’s crying.”

Charlotte spun round. For the second time that day, she nearly fainted in shock. Standing outside the back door, looking somewhat puzzled, was a tall blonde woman with sparkling blue eyes. It was Eliza.

****************************

Charlotte had never been so pleased to see Sidney’s ex-wife in her life. She flung open the back door, smiling widely. Sarah stepped backwards into the kitchen.

“Eliza! How nice to see you!” Charlotte said breezily.

Eliza looked rather perplexed. “I was just popping round on my way back from Brighton, I had to go and collect something, and well the thing is, we were having a clear-out the other day and I found these old CDs and I realised they were Sidney’s, so I thought I’d drop them round, but I couldn’t get them through your letterbox so I was going to leave them on the back doorstep...”

“Oh, how lovely!” replied Charlotte with a high-pitched squeak. To Eliza’s immense surprise, Charlotte stepped outside and embraced her, kissing on the cheek. As she did so, she whispered in her ear, “Help me.”

Eliza looked into Charlotte’s frightened eyes, then regarded the other young woman standing in the kitchen. Eliza was many things, but she was certainly not stupid. Rocking Oliver’s pram, she continued chattering.

“Also, I thought it would be lovely to have a peek at Oliver. Can I?” She leaned over the pram to get a glimpse.

“Of course,” beamed Charlotte. Then a thought struck her. “Did you bring the children?”

“No, no,” replied Eliza, “Isabella’s in school and Archie’s with the nanny.”

“We’ll have a cup of tea then,” said Charlotte. “Sarah was just leaving. Weren’t you?” She spun round, staring hard at Sarah.

The colour had drained from Sarah’s face. She looked at the two women apprehensively. It was as if she had suddenly fallen back down to earth and realised where she was, and what she was doing.

“Yes, I’d better go.” She pulled her coat around her, her eyes boring into Charlotte as she left. “Remember what you said, Charlotte,” she hissed.

“Of course,” nodded Charlotte. She stood motionless as Sarah walked out of the back door and down the lane. A couple of minutes later, they heard the sound of an engine revving up and a car driving off, at some speed.

Eliza turned towards her. “Charlotte,” she said, her eyes wide, “What on earth is going on?”

Charlotte said nothing, ushering her inside, heaving Oliver’s pram over the threshold and shutting the back door as firmly as she could. Then, for the second time in as many minutes, she collapsed into Eliza’s arms, sobbing, but only for a brief moment. Collecting herself, she lifted Oliver out of the pram and handed him to Eliza.

“Could you look after him for a minute, please? I need to phone the police.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eliza is a good fairy in this story! :)  
> I decided I was a bit mean to her in the last one and well, I think it's time she was forgiven, don't you?


	19. Tangled web

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phew. Well we're out of the woods now, you'll be pleased to hear. An alternative title for this chapter could be Love and Forgiveness, as that's mainly what it's about.

Meanwhile, Sidney was in Linda’s office, getting more and more agitated. Linda was also becoming a little exasperated.

“Yes, alright Sidney, I understand. Of course I will back you up, but ultimately it’s your word against hers, isn’t it? I mean, you had a previous relationship with her, and if she gets nasty, well, it’ll be all over the papers, you know it will...”

“Then what exactly do you suggest I do?” His phone rang in his pocket but he ignored it. “I’m not putting up with this anymore Linda, it’s not fair on Charlotte. She’s trying to drive us apart...”

“Okay, calm down. We will take action, don’t worry. Let’s sit down and talk this through properly. So you say that Alan may have seen her leaving your office…?’’

Just at that moment, there was a knock on the door. “Yes?” called Linda impatiently.

The door opened. It was the secretary, Moira. “Oh, Mr Parker, there you are. Can you come to the office? The police are on the phone. They tried your mobile but...”

Sidney sprang up. “What? What’s happened?”

“I don’t know,” replied Moira, a little shell-shocked. “They’re with your wife.”

Shooting a glance at Linda, Sidney sprinted to the school office and picked up the phone. Linda and Moira followed.

“Yes, yes... I see. Is she okay? Is the baby alright? Pardon? Who’s there with her?” He scratched his head. If it hadn’t been so serious, he might have laughed. “Yes, of course, I’ll be there right away. Thank you.”

He turned to the two waiting women. “She was at the house, Linda. Inside my fucking house!” Moira blanched. “Charlotte surprised her and somehow she got rid of her. I’ve got to go.” He decided to leave out the bit about his ex-wife turning up. That was truly surreal.

Then he turned to the secretary. “Moira, did Miss Crawford leave early today?”

Moira thought. “Oh yes, she went home at lunchtime, said she wasn’t feeling well, I remember now.”

“Thanks.” He picked up his jacket and left the school, shooting another look at his boss as he did so.

*******************

Sidney burst through the back door to find his ex-wife standing in his kitchen, cradling his son in her arms. She looked up at him and smiled. At a loss for words, Sidney went over and stroked his son’s head.

“He’s beautiful, Sidney. Look at his little nose. Just like yours!”

He looked down at his son, at Eliza, her long, glossy blonde hair, her striking blue eyes. At what could have been.

“I’m sorry about this, Eliza…” he stuttered.

“Never a dull moment with you around, is there, Sidney Parker?” She raised an eyebrow, the corners of her mouth twitching.

“Eliza, I…”

“Don’t mind me,” she interrupted. “Go and see to your wife. I’m making tea for everyone. Any biscuits anywhere?” And she began to busy herself in the kitchen.

Sidney nodded and, swallowing hard, made his way to the living room. Charlotte was sitting on the sofa with two police officers, a man and a woman, who were busy making notes. She looked up as he entered, but didn’t say anything. The officers paused their questioning.

“Mr Parker?” said the man.

Sidney nodded. “Yes. Um… could I... just have a quick word with my wife?”

“Of course.” The two police officers got up and left the room.

Sidney sat down next to Charlotte. To his relief, she fell into his arms, pressing her head against his chest as he held her tightly. “I’m so sorry, Charlotte, I’m so sorry,” he soothed her.

She looked up at him. Her eyes were dry, but full of pain and confusion. “She told me you had sex. On the back seat of the car.”

“It’s not true, Charlotte. She was never in my car. Anyway, my bike was on the back seat, it’s still there in fact. You believe me, don’t you?” Stroking her face, he looked deep into her eyes.

She gave him a small smile. “Yes, that’s what I thought. You hate having sex in the car. But what did you…?” She began to cry.

“Come here.” He held her close again, kissing her forehead. “I’ll explain it all to the police.”

The police officers returned and took statements from Sidney and Charlotte. Sidney gave them Sarah’s full name and address and the male officer shut his notebook.

“Thank you. We’ll be calling on Miss Crawford shortly. Dawn,” he said to his colleague, “could you take a look round the house with Mr and Mrs Parker, see if there’s any signs of disturbance anywhere, and I’ll go and have a quick word with the other lady. Um… who is the other lady exactly?” he enquired.

Sidney went a little red. “Err… her name is Eliza Hurst. Actually, she’s my ex-wife.”

The officer coughed. “Your ex-wife? Well, that’s unusual. Bit of a tangled web this case, isn’t it?”

“Yes. You could say that.”

Sidney and Charlotte went upstairs with the female officer and looked around. Nothing seemed to be disturbed, except perhaps in the bedroom. The covers on the bed were messed up and Charlotte’s T-shirt was discarded on the floor.

“What’s this?” she frowned. “Why is my T-shirt here?”

“It was on my pillow,” Sidney said quietly. “Every night.”

Charlotte sat on the bed, holding her T-shirt forlornly. “I can’t stay here tonight. I really can’t,” she said quietly.

“You’ll have to go somewhere else I think, Mr Parker,” said the officer, “until you get that door fixed. It wasn’t very secure anyway, you want to up your security a bit if you ask me. I can give you the name of a firm.”

Sidney sighed. “Thank you. Not sure where we can go, though.”

Charlotte looked up. “Esther’s flat in Sanditon, of course. It’s still empty.”

He smiled. “Okay. I’ll call her.”

The police officers left and Sidney and Charlotte went to find Eliza, who was sitting quietly with Oliver in the kitchen, drinking tea. She handed Oliver over to Charlotte.

“He’s such a cutie. Making me broody again!” she laughed. “Well, I’ve really got to go, the nanny will be having kittens.”

“Eliza, thank you so much,” said Sidney. “I really don’t know what to say…”

“You don’t need to say anything, Sidney.” Eliza reached up and kissed him gently on the cheek. Then she turned to Charlotte and hugged her. “Goodbye Charlotte. Take care.”

“Oh goodness me, after all that drama, I nearly forgot! Your bloody CDs…” Reaching into her capacious handbag, she handed them a bulky package.

They watched her leave. The events of the last few hours had left Sidney speechless. He simply put his arm around Charlotte and held her, and his son, very close.

And so it was that Charlotte and Sidney found themselves back where it had all started: Esther’s seafront flat in Sanditon, where Sidney had dropped Charlotte off after school on so many occasions, desperately wishing he could follow her up the stairs to her small bedroom, the room where they had first had sex all those years ago, following months of drama and uncertainty. Now, here they were again, older and possibly wiser, taking shelter from the storm once more. A concerned Esther and Bradley met them at the flat and helped them settle in with their belongings and all Oliver’s paraphernalia. The flat was sparsely furnished as Esther had moved out months ago, but they had what they needed for now. Esther and Bradley shared a fish and chip supper with them and stayed long into the evening, talking over the events of the day.

“How do you think she found out where you lived?” asked Bradley, frowning.

“I don’t know,” shrugged Sidney. “She’s a devious bitch. Thank god she's been arrested.”

Charlotte had been very quiet so far that evening, but she now looked up from her food. “It was her I saw in the café that time, at Sainsbury’s. She must have recognised me. What if she followed me home from the car park?” She shivered.

“It’s a possibility,” said Sidney, squeezing her arm. “Tell the police.”

“Well, thank god Eliza turned up, that’s all I can say,” mused Esther.

“Yes, she must be your guardian angel, Sid,” joked Bradley. “You really ought to send her flowers or something.”

“Hmm, you think so?” said Sidney with wry amusement.

“Yes, actually,” said Esther, in all seriousness. “Why not? She did save your wife from a very sticky situation.”

Sidney leaned back in his chair, can of coke halfway to his mouth. “Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps it’s time to put the past behind us. What do you think, darling?”

Charlotte nodded. “I agree. Flowers would be a really nice gesture." She paused. "In fact… perhaps we should invite her and Charles over for dinner some time?”

Sidney nearly spat out his drink. “Are you serious…?” Then he saw her amused expression. “Charlotte… one thing at a time, maybe.” For the first time that evening, the four friends laughed.

At around 10pm, Esther stretched and yawned.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, “I need to go home to bed. You two can go in my room, there’s still a double bed, and Oliver can go in your old room, Charlotte.”

“Thank you so much, Esther,” said Sidney, “I can’t tell you how much this means to us. Hopefully we’ll be able to go home soon.”

Esther noticed Charlotte shudder. “No need. Stay as long as you like. It’s going to be a few months before everyone in the chain is ready to exchange.”

“Thank you Esther,” said Charlotte, putting a hand on her arm. “I feel safe here somehow.”

“We’ll give you some money of course,” interjected Sidney.

“Sshh, don’t be ridiculous.” She waved him away. “What are friends for? And call me if you need me Charlotte, I’ll come round anytime.” Then she paused, a twinkle in her eye. “I’ve got some news that might cheer you up too.”

“Go on,” said Charlotte, half-guessing what she was about to say.

“You mustn’t tell a soul, as it’s very early days, but yes, I’m pregnant.”

Charlotte nearly exploded with joy and hugged her old friend, the news bringing tears to her eyes. Sidney was also very emotional and hugged them both warmly.

“One or two?” laughed Charlotte, through her tears.

“We’re having a scan in a couple of weeks. I’ll let you know,” she winked.

After Esther and Brad left, Charlotte stood at the window of the bedroom, looking out at the street lights twinkling along the seafront. If she listened carefully, she could just about hear the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. And of course, the ubiquitous seagulls. Despite everything that had happened that day, she felt relieved. It felt like coming home. Sidney approached her and held her gently from behind, his arms around her waist. She leaned back against his broad chest, inhaling that familiar scent. Resting his chin on the top of her head, he closed his eyes and breathed her in too. They had said very little to each other so far about the events of the last twenty-four hours. Charlotte had heard everything he had told the police, listening in silence as they asked their questions. But something was bothering her.

“Sidney,” she said quietly, “what really happened last night? In your office?”

“I told you, she was waiting there and she had my car keys, she was taunting me, coming on to me.” There was a pause. “And she touched me.”

Charlotte turned her head sharply. “She touched you? Where?”

“Between my legs,” he mumbled. "Very briefly."

“You didn’t say that to the police. Why did you let her do that? Did you touch her?” Her voice was rising slightly.

“No. Please Charlotte, I’ve told you the truth. She had my keys and I wanted to see what she would do next. I wanted to get some evidence against her.”

He was visibly upset; Charlotte held his head close to hers. “Okay. But you should tell the police.” She paused; she couldn’t help it, she had to ask. “What would you have done though, if it was someone you liked?”

He lifted his head to look at her. “Nothing. I’d never jeopardise what we have. Christ, Charlotte, I’ve spent half my life looking for someone like you, give me a break. What if someone came on to you? Would you?”

“No, of course not.”

“Well then.”

Leaning into his chest, she held him tight. “I’m sorry. So many thoughts running through my head. Forgive me.”

“It’s okay. Let’s go to bed,” he whispered softly in her ear. Oliver was already tucked up in his cot. They undressed slowly and, still not speaking, curled up tightly together and drifted off into a - hopefully dreamless - sleep.

**************************

Sidney and Charlotte never went back to the cottage, only returning to pack up their things and sort out the house. Charlotte couldn’t face the thought that Sarah had been in their bedroom, looking through their belongings, maybe even lying on their bed. Although it took her quite some time to get over the incident, being back in Sanditon, in the reassuring surroundings of Esther’s flat was a great help. She loved being able to walk into town, push Oliver along the esplanade and sit at one of the seafront cafés, watching people go by, bumping into parents and students, visiting her friends. They put their cottage on the market and began to look for a new house in Sanditon, and eventually found a three-bedroomed Victorian terraced house not far from the seafront that they could just about afford. It would take a few months for the sale and exchange process to go through, but Charlotte was beyond excited to be back in Sanditon, and Sidney had ruefully accepted that, try as he might, Sanditon was in his blood and he would probably end up staying there for the rest of his days.

After a few days off, Sidney returned to work. He never saw Sarah again; she was suspended from work pending the police investigation and was later charged with breaking and entering and harassment. If convicted, she would be unable to work as a teacher again. Charlotte wasn’t sure she really wanted to press charges, but Sidney convinced her it was the only way to ensure she stayed out of their lives. Sidney and Charlotte both sent victim statements to the court and Eliza provided a witness statement. Eventually, Sarah was convicted and received a suspended sentence, plus a lifetime restraining order, on the condition that she sought psychiatric treatment.

Charlotte spent many hours, often in the middle of the night when she was feeding Oliver, wondering what had caused Sarah to act as she did. Perhaps she just wanted to be loved by someone and had somehow convinced herself that Sidney was that person. Or perhaps her obsession with him had deepened to such an extent that she was no longer able to tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Charlotte almost felt sorry for her, but not that much. The last they heard of her, she had moved to Portsmouth; Charlotte sincerely hoped she would stay there and find someone else to latch onto, preferably someone single.

Sidney and Charlotte’s relationship was tentative at first. Very soon after the incident, Charlotte had her first period since Oliver's birth, possibly the heaviest one she’d ever had, and it took her a while to recover. Sidney was uncommunicative for a while, but eventually, encouraged by his wife, he began to share more of his feelings with her: about Oliver’s birth, about being a new parent and the responsibilities that entailed, about Sarah, about why he’d hidden the truth for so long, how the last few months had impacted on his job and how he felt about himself. Charlotte too talked to him about becoming a new mother, how it affected her sense of identity, her insecurities about her changing body, her feelings of jealousy at the attention that Sidney attracted from other women, her conflicted feelings about Eliza, her fear during the confrontation with Sarah and the occasional flashbacks she had. They both agreed they needed to trust each other more. It was strange how you could be with a person for so long and yet still find out new things about them every day, how their reactions and their thoughts could continually surprise you. They began to feel as if they were reaching a new level of understanding, that they were communicating in a deeper, truer way.

One night, a couple of weeks later, they were lying naked in bed, talking about Sidney’s colleagues and how they had reacted to him on his return to work.

“I don’t know, everyone’s sympathetic to my face – especially Linda, I think she feels bad about not taking me seriously – but sometimes I wonder what they say behind my back,” Sidney mused, looking up at the ceiling.

Charlotte was curled around him, her head resting against his shoulder. She idly twirled one of his chest hairs. “What do you think they’re saying?” she asked quietly.

“Oh you know, I must have led her on, maybe I was lonely, feeling left out because of the baby, all that sort of bollocks. I’m a man, aren’t I, and we had history. Plus I don’t really know what she said about me.”

“Well, they don’t all know the full story, do they?”

“No, we’ve tried to keep things quiet. At least until it comes to court.”

Charlotte leaned up to kiss his cheek. “You’re over-thinking things, as usual. Anyway it doesn’t matter what other people think, does it?”

“Doesn’t it?” He turned to face her.

“No.” She looked into his eyes. “I believe you, I trust you and I love you. That’s all that matters.”

Sidney said nothing, simply returning her gaze.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he smiled, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Just thinking how beautiful you are. And how much I love you.”

“Oh you soppy thing.” Their heads slowly inched towards each other and their lips met. They both sighed happily as that familiar pleasure washed over them once more. Charlotte’s arms reached up around his neck and she clasped on to his hair, gently pulling him towards her as their mouths opened fully and their tongues met. Sidney shifted to the side, pulling her soft body close to him, his hands caressing her back and reaching down to her smooth, round cheeks. For the first time in many weeks, she felt an instant desire rise through her and as her thighs wrapped around his, she knew exactly what she wanted. No preliminaries, no foreplay, only the deepest connection possible with the man she loved. “Now,” she whispered, manoeuvring herself around him so the tip of his cock was just edging inside her. He paused. “Don’t stop,” she urged.

“I’m just teasing you,” he growled as he nudged forward, kissing her neck, happy to observe the evident pleasure on her face, her eyes shut tight and her lips parted.

“Stop teasing me,” she smiled. “Just fuck me.” So he did.

“Oh god, I’ve missed you,” she moaned as he filled her with his love and his hard, urgent passion, their bodies hot, their kisses messy and their noises intense.

“I’ve missed you too,” he whispered, his voice choked, his full weight upon her as their breathing calmed.

Cupping his face in her hands, she kissed him tenderly. “I’m right here, Sidney. I’m not going anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter coming very soon - and it's a happy chapter :)


	20. Eternity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So - it's time to say goodbye to this couple - I think they'll be okay now, don't you? Hopefully they won't have quite as much drama in the future but I'm sure whatever life throws at them they will get through it!  
> I've spent so many months imagining and writing about these two, they almost seem like real people to me. In fact, whenever I go to a certain seaside town in Sussex, I'm disappointed not to see Sidney on his bike or Charlotte pushing Oliver along the seafront...  
> Although I write for work, I'd never written any fiction before, and doing this has helped me so much over the last few months. So thank you to everyone who's cheered me on.  
> I don't really think I can write another version of modern Sidlotte somehow - but I'm trying to write original Sidlotte into happiness in my story Return to Antigua - it's a very different story. Maybe once I've done that I'll move on to something else! We'll see...

_“Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments._

_Love is not love when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove.”_

Sonnet 116, William Shakespeare.

Eventually, Sidney settled back at work and tried to stop worrying too much what people thought. It was a longer journey to work, about 12 miles, but he cycled most days to clear his head and make him feel ready for the day. It beat sitting in the endless queues of traffic on the A26 anyway.

Charlotte was loving being back in Sanditon, and had already begun to look for a nursery for Oliver for the autumn, as she was planning to return to work three days a week. She was happy to sell her car, as she wouldn’t need it every day and this would help them financially. Oliver was growing all the time, sleeping a little better but still not all through the night, and the dreaded teething would soon be upon them. Charlotte was now mixing breast with bottle and getting ready to feed Oliver solids, a little perplexed by all the different theories and methods that abounded and the endless rows of disgusting looking jars of puréed mash stacked on the supermarket shelves. Sidney, however, was delighted that he could now take over the feeding sometimes and he would spend hours lying on the floor with his small son, squeaking toys in his face, chatting to him and trying to get him to smile or burble back.

There was further good news in the neighbourhood; although she spent nearly four months constantly throwing up, Esther’s pregnancy was going well and yes, she was expecting twins. She and Brad were a little apprehensive, although Esther seemed delighted that, with any luck, she would have a ready-made family and no need to go through all that horrific morning sickness ever again.

To their mutual delight, Sidney and Charlotte had rekindled their sex life, but it wasn’t always easy. What with the stress of the court case, work, and Oliver’s erratic sleeping patterns, it was difficult to find time and when they could, it sometimes felt a little rushed, functional even. Charlotte missed the days when they could laze around in bed or spend hours on foreplay, rather than snatching a look at the clock in the morning, meeting each other’s gaze and making a tacit agreement to do it now, before Oliver woke up, as by the time they made it to bed at night, one or both of them would probably be worn out. Sidney was just grateful to have his contented, loving wife back in his arms, if he was honest, but he was aware that they could both do with a bit of a break.

One night, Charlotte came into the bedroom and he was lying in bed waiting for her, the sheet tucked halfway down his bare chest, scrolling through his phone. He looked up and smiled as he watched her get undressed. “What?” she asked, taking her bra off. She didn’t need to wear it in bed anymore as her breasts were less full and didn’t leak so much.

“Nothing, just looking at you,” he grinned.

Charlotte yawned, putting on a T-shirt, to his disappointment. She climbed in bed and he pulled her towards him, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead.

“I’m really tired, Sidney,” she said. “I hardly slept last night.”

“Yeah, I know, I know,” he said softly. “Listen, I had an idea and... well, I was just going to do it, but I thought I’d better check with you first.”

“What?” she asked, intrigued now.

He continued stroking her hair. “I know we didn’t do much for your birthday in February because of... you know, and the Easter holidays are nearly here, so I was thinking...” he looked down at her, “would you like to go away somewhere? Just me and you?”

“Just us? How would we do that?” she frowned. “Oliver...”

“Yeah, I know, but we could just go for one night. Leave early in the morning and stay till the next afternoon perhaps. He’ll be six months soon. I’m sure between them, Diana, Susan and Mary can cope. In fact, they said it was fine.” He grinned.

“You asked them already?”

“Yeah. And I found a place. Look...” he showed her his phone, “it’s this spa hotel in the New Forest, it’s got a swimming pool, jacuzzi, sauna, all that kind of thing, I thought you’d like that. You haven’t been swimming in ages.”

She sat up in bed, suddenly excited. “Really?” She frowned. “It must be really expensive.”

“Don’t worry about that.” He pulled her towards him and kissed her. “You deserve it. You really do.”

“We both deserve it,” she replied, kissing him back.

“So what do you think? Weekend of 10th April? Shall I book it?”

“You’ve sorted all this already, haven’t you?” she smiled.

“Err... yeah. I just need to press the button.”

“Go on then.” She kissed him. “I love you, Sidney.”

And so it was that, a few weeks later, they found themselves driving down to Hampshire, baby-free, having dropped Oliver off at Mary’s that morning. Charlotte kept looking in the back of the car, thinking they must have forgotten something; they had so few bags with them, it didn’t seem right. She felt as if part of her own body had been wrenched away from her and she missed Oliver terribly, but on the other hand, she felt a sense of freedom and lightness. She could get used to this; for a little while, anyway. Sidney had told her to buy a new dress for the weekend, and she’d spent ages looking round the shops in Brighton before she finally found the perfect outfit. She’d lost more weight recently, but not all of it, so very few of her old dresses fitted properly. She’d also bought herself a new swimsuit and had considered new underwear, but decided she didn’t really need it. After all, he would probably be more interested in taking it off. Hopefully. She was now back on the pill and her hormones were adjusting, but she still felt a little shy sometimes about initiating sex, not quite like her old self. Perhaps she never truly would be her old self and her body would never really be the same again, but Sidney never stopped telling her how gorgeous she was and how much he loved her, so she’d just have to trust him, and trust herself.

Having grown up in Dorset, Charlotte knew the New Forest well, but Sidney had never been before. It didn’t look like a forest at all, more like acres and acres of rather eerie heathland, populated with freely roaming cows, ponies and deer. The hotel was right in the heart of the forest, at the end of a long drive of fir trees. It was quite a grand, old-fashioned place, with landscaped gardens and a fountain, like something out of a period drama, thought Charlotte, expecting to see ladies in bonnets appear around the corner at any moment, or Colin Firth burst out of the fountain, shirt dripping.

The foyer of the hotel was equally grand, although in a shabby, English sort of way: deep red carpets, chandeliers, and a wide spiral staircase leading upwards. They climbed the staircase up to their room, which had large bay windows looking out onto the gardens, a beautiful ensuite bathroom and a very big, luxuriously furnished bed. There was a vase of roses and a bottle of champagne, on ice, sitting on the dressing table. Charlotte was overcome with emotion.

“I can’t believe it,” she said, her hands over her mouth and tears in her eyes. “Did you do all this?”

“Well, it was included,” he smiled. “Do you like it? Bit nicer than that hotel in Brighton we stayed at all those years ago? Do you remember?”

“Of course I remember,” she laughed. “My birthday weekend, when you wore me out. I could hardly walk by the end of it.”

“Come here,” he said and took her in his arms. She held him tight and they kissed.

“Sidney,” she said, “does it bother you that we don’t... you know, do it so much these days? Like we used to?”

He cupped her face in his hands. “No, Charlotte. That isn’t why I brought you here, so please don’t start thinking that. I just want to be with you. No interruptions for once. And so you can have a rest. You deserve it. And... I love you. That is all.”

“Thank you,” she said softly, and kissed him again. “Can we go to the pool now?” she smiled.

“Yes of course,” he laughed. “Dinner’s not until eight, we’ve got plenty of time.”

They made their way across the lawn to the separate, modern wooden building where the pool and spa were housed. The water was clean and sparkling and the pool was elegantly tiled in white and blue. Very few guests were there. They parted ways to get changed.

Sidney was ready well before Charlotte and no one was in the jacuzzi, so he slid into the bubbling hot water. He laid back and closed his eyes, feeling instantly relaxed. He felt a tap on his shoulder and looked up.

“Hi,” she said.

Charlotte was wearing a swimsuit he’d never seen before. It was in a deep ruby red colour, cut high on the thighs and rather low at the front.

“Wow,” was all he could say. She slipped down into the water next to him. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.

“Do you like it?” she beamed. “My old one didn’t really fit, so... I got a plain black one for when I go proper swimming, but I couldn’t resist this one as well.”

“It’s gorgeous,” he grinned. “Very sexy. You know, it reminds me a little of um... the first time I saw you on the beach in Sanditon.”

“Oh yeah,” she laughed, “when you were gawping at me from your bike.” She poked his chest.

“Well, can you blame me?” he said, as his finger gently curved down her neck, following the line of her swimsuit towards her voluptuous cleavage. He let it rest between her breasts. Charlotte looked around. Everyone else was in the pool or sauna, it seemed. She lifted one of her legs and entwined it around his, stroking his calf with her foot.

“Hello,” she smiled, and kissed his cheek.

“Shame we don’t have this place to ourselves really, isn’t it?” he whispered, inching his hand up her leg under the bubbles, until he reached the top of her thigh. Gently stroking the skin on the inside of her thigh, his thumb then reached between her legs and he lightly rubbed her. She gasped.

“Sidney...” She closed her eyes, savouring the sensation.

Just at that moment, another couple climbed into the jacuzzi. They nodded and smiled, taking their seats opposite. Sidney removed his hand and Charlotte slowly shifted her body away. She whispered in his ear.

“I think I’d better go and jump in the cold water and have a swim. You coming?”

Sidney smiled at her, blushing. “Not just yet. Might embarrass myself if I stand up.”

Charlotte giggled. “Go on, go,” he urged her, “get away from me.”

She climbed out of the tub and, tying her hair up, dived into the pool and began to swim lengths. It felt glorious. She could have gone swimming at the pool in Eastbourne before now, she supposed, but somehow she’d never got round to it. She would definitely start going again. Soon enough, Sidney joined her in the water, then they went to sit in the sauna. There were other guests in there too, but they sat very close together, legs touching, holding hands, as Sidney watched the perspiration running down her neck and between her breasts. He knew he’d said this weekend wasn’t about sex, but she seemed to be relaxing more all the time, and he felt like he’d never desired her more.

Charlotte was well aware of how he was looking at her and she was feeling the same desire, but when they got back to their room, inexplicably, she felt anxious. Their lovemaking usually took place in bed when they were already naked, often half-asleep. She felt as if she’d forgotten how to be sexy, how to be seductive.

“Um... I’m going to have a shower,” she said.

“Shall I come with you?” he asked.

“No, I need to wash my hair.” She disappeared into the bathroom.

“Oh, okay.” He sat down on the bed. Never mind. A little while later, she emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a towel, another one perched on her head.

“Hey,” he smiled, lifting the bottle of champagne from the ice bucket, “You want some of this?”

“Go on then.” She laughed as he unpopped the cork and it flew across the room. He poured some into a champagne flute and passed it to her.

“Aren’t you having one?”

“No, my turn for the shower now. You get dressed.”

Charlotte sipped the champagne as she put on her underwear and slipped into her new dress, releasing her wet hair from the towel and letting it tumble over her shoulders. The champagne went straight to her head, but it was doing the trick, so she poured another one. She twirled in front of the wardrobe, admiring herself in the full-length mirror. Sidney emerged from the bathroom, a small towel tied round his waist, and caught sight of her in the mirror. He poured himself a glass and came over to her.

“Cheers,” he said. They clinked glasses and drank. He set down his glass on the table, then did the same with hers. “Come here,” he said, standing behind her and turning her to face the mirror, resting his hands on her waist.

“You look absolutely beautiful, Mrs Parker. Just look at that dress!”

Charlotte giggled, a little tipsy. The dress was pale blue, silky, and longer than she usually wore, nearly ankle length, sleeveless with a deep V-neck at the front, shaping her curves beautifully. Sidney’s hands roved across her body as he bit her neck gently, his little nips turning into more urgent kisses as his mouth travelled down towards her cleavage and his hands grasped her tightly around the waist.

“The trouble is,” he whispered, “I just want to take it off.”

“How long have we got till dinner?” she asked, turning round to face him, leaning lightly against his groin and stretching up to kiss him.

“Oh, at least forty-five minutes,” he smiled, his hands now dipping down her back towards her bum, which he pulled up sharply against him.

“Good,” Charlotte said, and she whipped off his towel, dropping it on the floor, running her fingers lightly up and down his cock. Sidney shuddered.

“Come here,” he said in his deep tones. He gently pulled down the zip at the back of her dress and she stepped out of it, laying it carefully on a chair. He unhooked her bra and let it drop to the floor, his thumbs skimming her breasts as he did so.

“I like these,” he said, noticing her lacy white scallop-trimmed knickers, the bottom of her arse cheeks peeping out seductively. His fingers ran gently along the hem. Trailing hot kisses over her breasts and her stomach, he then knelt on the floor before her, his mouth worshipping her thighs, her knickers discarded to one side as he buried his head between her legs, his hands grasping her arse.

Staggering back against the mirror, she arched her thighs around him, pulling roughly on his hair, urging him inside her. He knew exactly what she liked, how to make her lose all inhibition, abandon herself to his sweet touch. His fingers worked alongside his tongue until her wetness flowed over his hand. Then her eyes locked with his. Silently, she urged him to come to her, kneeling up on the bed in front of the mirror. He needed no further invitation, crying out with joy and release as he entered her, his hands cupped around her breasts, pulling her closer to his chest. Charlotte caught a peek of them both in the mirror and grinned to herself. Sidney looked down at his beautiful wife, her soft, wet hair tumbling around her shoulders, her hands clutching the sheets in ecstatic abandon, and he knew how lucky he was, how lucky they both were, and that he never, ever wanted this to end.

Afterwards, they lay breathless, kissing passionately, exchanging words of love.

Then Charlotte looked at the clock. “Shit, it’s eight o’clock,” she said, “we’re supposed to be at dinner.”

Laughing, they jumped up from the bed and scrambled into their clothes. Sidney quickly put on a smart suit, the same one he’d worn at Esther and Brad’s wedding, his movie star suit. He smoothed down his hair. “Ready.”

But Charlotte was panicking, wriggling into her dress. “I haven’t done my hair. I haven’t got any make-up on. And look what you’ve done to my knickers,” she tutted, picking them up off the floor. “They’re soaking wet.”

Sidney laughed. “Don’t wear any then. And your hair looks fine. You don’t need make-up.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Just give me five minutes.”

“There. Will that do?” she asked, after quickly drying her hair and dabbing on some mascara and lipstick.

“Beautiful.”

They went down for dinner, Charlotte still a little flushed and flustered.

“Sorry we’re a bit late,” said Sidney to the head waiter. “We were resting.”

With a charming smile, the waiter ushered them to their table and handed them the menus.

“Resting!” said Charlotte, giggling over the top of her menu. “Honestly, Sidney, what must they think?”

“We’re a married couple, we’re allowed to have sex you know,” he laughed.

“Sssh,” she said, as a couple on a nearby table glanced over. Demurely, she perused the menu and they ordered. The dinner was wonderful; elaborate starters and game dishes from the forest, a bottle of red wine and a local cheeseboard instead of dessert. Halfway through dinner, Charlotte began to feel uncomfortable. She was perspiring and kept patting her chest.

“What’s the matter?” Sidney asked, spearing venison on his fork.

She leaned across the table. “I didn’t pump earlier and I keep thinking about Oliver. Do you think he’s okay?”

“Let me check.” Sidney looked at his phone. ‘Oliver is fine, fed really well, now fast asleep. Mary.’ That was ten minutes ago. See? Now relax.”

“Okay, I will,” she smiled. “Shall we go for a walk tomorrow, in the forest? After the pool again, of course.”

“Sure. Whatever you want.” He squeezed her hand.

After dinner, Sidney and Charlotte strolled outside into the gardens. It was a warm night and the moon was scudding behind the clouds, a few stars twinkling overhead. Charlotte rested her hands on the stone balustrade, sighing happily. Sidney stood next to her, his arm around her waist. She turned and gently kissed him.

“Thank you, Sidney. This is truly magical. I’ll never forget this.”

“What would you like to do now?” he asked. “Go for a moonlit walk?”

She leaned into his body. “No. I think I’d like to go back upstairs and continue what we were doing earlier. What do you think?”

“That sounds... perfect,” he smiled. “After all, who needs sleep?”

Turning to face her, he pulled her close to him and they kissed deeply. He leaned his forehead gently against hers. “Before we... go back to the room, I just want to say a couple of things.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” Holding each other round the waist, foreheads touching, their shadows were reflected on the wall of the grand house behind them. “Look, I know we’ve had a difficult few months, a difficult year really. And I’m sorry.”

“Sidney, you don’t need to keep apologising, we’ve been through all this...” She stroked his cheek, his beautiful strong jaw, the gorgeous profile she never tired of looking at.

“I know, but... you’ve been wonderful Charlotte, and so... I got you this.” He reached in his pocket and took out a small box. “Here.”

Stunned, Charlotte opened the box to reveal a ring, a rose gold band with a diamond set into it. “Sidney, we’re already married,” she laughed.

“Yes, but you never had an engagement ring and you only have a plain gold band. It’s... it’s an eternity ring. I had our initials engraved inside it, look.”

Charlotte peered at the underside of the ring, where she could just make out the initials ‘S&C’ engraved in italic script, entwined around each other. Sidney slipped the ring onto her finger, next to her wedding ring, and held her close to his chest. “Thank you, Sidney, it’s beautiful,” she said, nestling against him.

“I’m no good without you Charlotte,” he said softly into her hair. “I never want to be apart from you. Ever.”

Looking up into his eyes, she smiled tenderly. “You won’t be. We’ll always be together. Forever.”

****************************

And they will.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You see - I'm just a big old romantic, after all... 
> 
> Thanks for reading! And, as I continually have to remind myself, if you're lucky enough to have a loving partner, don't take them for granted :)


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